My Angel
by Destiny and Fate united
Summary: Life always moves on into different phases...but the heart always wants...and life is never the same when love hurts you more than most...rated T for now
1. Chapter One: Ghostly Remains

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter One: Ghostly Remains

The clinking and clanking of the train annoyed Helga's patience and concentration as she tried to jot down her ideas to the music blaring in her headphones. Every now and then someone would pause to look at her or listen with interest to her music before moving on. For all the attention she could be receiving, she brushed it off with the same bravado and care that had kept her heart guarded during the majority of her life. Old Betsy nearly reared her head for the first time in a long time as an old man smelling strongly of whisky tried to sit next to her. A glare from Helga, colder than the air conditioning in the carriage, caused the man to retreat to the seats further away.

Sighing, Helga adjusted her greying blue beanie and continued her work. Blistering ache; crystal tears; rainbow skies; none of these words made much sense to Helga, but she needed something to get her by for the next class. The light in the carriage flickered for an instant before the thought struck her; the same song had been on repeat for her entire trip so far. Biting the inside of her mouth in annoyance, she flicked through the songs before her. The stench of the train had begun to take their toll on her senses no doubt, and it was only growing worse; stale air, mixed with the sweat of people, alcohol and smoked cigarettes was nauseating to say the least. But as the song clicked over, Helga sighed at the lighting, its flickering ceasing and returning to normality.

The afternoon rays fell onto her arms, streaming in through the hazy and partially misty windows. Dressed in a pink long sleeved shirt with a red hibiscus pattern on her left shoulder, Helga felt that she stood out more than she may have done back during her primary schooling days and even into high schools days. Sneakers and dark blue jeans completed her outfit, her hair still golden blonde but hidden by the beanie she cherished so dearly. Why she struggled to remember the significance and importance of it was beyond her. Closing the notepad in her hand, she adjusted the ear plugs and moved her finger on the circular pad, increasing the noise of her music. Her whole day had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours. Having missed the early departure to college, she found herself standing alone on the platform for half an hour in the rain, waiting for the next arrival.

Helga smirked at the thought. Cold blistering rain had pelted down upon her small fragile face all those years ago, the shivering she had felt being unbearable. Why she was meant to walk alone to pre-school was beyond her own understanding, even today. But even as she walked along the hard and unforgiving concrete, she had felt the rain above her head ease. Curious, she had dared a glance and saw a crimson red above her head, its shape that of an umbrella. Her eyes had traced the pole to the face of a smiling blonde haired boy, sporting a small cap on his head she would in time come to know all too well. It was the first day Arnold had come into her life.

But he wasn't there today; no one was. Few people even knew that Helga Pataki existed nowadays. She had cut her ties with her friends when she had finished high school, in turn leaving her amongst strangers when she had begun college. She told herself it was for the best as she picked up her novel and resumed her spot from earlier that day. Aside from the rain in the morning, turning up late to her lecture annoyed her to no end as the lecturer insisted on making her lateness known before launching into the basics of English literature. If it wasn't for the lunchtime break where she could attend an optional art group, Helga would have stormed off from the college grounds in disgust.

Turning the page, Helga felt the train come to a halt, allowing people around her to interchange in their destinations. Being one of the last stops, she didn't expect much of a crowd; there never was. And for the moment nothing else around her could confirm otherwise. Her eyes scanned the content profusely, the eagerness in her eyes causing the words to blur together. As if she were at the heart of the story, Helga felt her heart sink as the protagonist rejoined her loving parents. The book felt like deadweight in her fingers, her eyes unfocused on anything in the train or outside it as it began its journey once more. Her own parent wouldn't care if she came back home alive, let alone before the supposed imposed curfew. The realities of Bob's lack of worry or care for her felt like another stab into her heart; _he wouldn't care_. The business man would expect dinner to be prepared and cooked; she shivered to think what he might do to her apart from yelling at her.

Shutting the book, Helga looked away and cast her gaze on the world outside. It wasn't long before Helga heard the familiar dong of the bell alerting passengers of the next stop. Watching as the sun hid behind the darkened clouds, Helga felt her body jolt at the sudden stop, causing her books to fall off her lap. Hearing the door open, she hastily tried to gather belongings.

"Criminey; why does this always happen to me?" she mumbled.

Checking around as she gathered the books to her, she saw her notebook had gone the farthest from her during the fall. Placing her other books back into her sling backpack, Helga made to go and grab it. Turning around, the notebook was gone from its resting place. Instead of being opened up to the world around her, stretched out before her worried face was a hand, holding the notebook tightly. Her eyes travelled up the body of the young man and rested on his blonde hair.

"I think you dropped this," he said gently, the kindness radiating in his voice, acting like a drug on her.

"Thank you," she mumbled incoherently, taking the book from his hand.

The young man smiled and walked away, seating himself aisles away from her. Her heart was caught in mid beat, her mind numb to what her eyes had just seen and ears heard. She had to be dreaming, but even her dreams were never this real.

"Arnold?" she whispered to herself, collapsing back onto the seat behind her.

Helga pinched herself; nope, this wasn't a dream. But what was he doing here of all places? The Arnold she knew had left long ago. When had he returned? Was he okay? Did he remember her? Was this really Arnold? Helga felt herself tense up at this; maybe he wasn't Arnold. Peering cautiously from her seat, she could only make out the blonde hair. He looked like him though; there weren't too many people who had his particularly odd and uniquely shaped head. But there was one crucial piece missing. Closing her eyes, Helga tried to form the image of the Arnold she knew with what she saw now before her.

_He looks the same; if Arnold has come on the train and has seated himself only aisles away from me, he's grown so much. He looks like what Arnold should look like; but where's his goofy cap? Maybe this stranger wasn't him…oh Arnold, my golden haired angel boy, my love pulls me apart at the mere thought of the kindness you have to all. But I, Helga, am unworthy of your generous care, let alone your concern…your undivided love and…soft gentle lips…_Helga blushed furiously at this and pinched herself again.

"Get a hold of yourself Helga; those parts of you ended long ago remember?" the blonde muttered to herself as she replaced the ear plugs in her ears.

Trying to keep her gaze away from the stranger, Helga held eye contact with the emergency lever opposite her. For the remainder of her journey, Helga maintained her focus, although every now and then her eyes would stray towards the blonde boy. Each time she did she greeted herself with a firm pinch, and even going so far at one point to slap herself across her face. Finally, with Helga thanking fate kindly, her stop arrived, the announcer reminding all departing passengers to take their valuables with them. Gathering her bag, Helga paid no attention to her movements, her mind set on auto-pilot. Bumping into the boy as they both tried to exit at the same time, Helga felt her fear grip her again as he half-smiled, rubbing his head tenderly.

"Sorry about that; I guess I wasn't watching where I was going."

Helga forced herself to half smile at his words. The young man's face though suddenly changed, his apologetic look turning curious as he took a closer look at her. "You're that girl; don't I know you from somewhere?"

His aroma caught her off-guard again, nearly making her faint in joy. "No," she mumbled softly before walking away from the puzzled boy.

Her footsteps increased their pace and Helga felt herself needing to get away from him as quickly as possible. Whatever affect he had had on her was easing off the further she moved from him. This was stupid; how could someone have such a strong impact on her? The first drops of rain had begun to descend as she came to the front steps of the house. A fumble into her pocket found the keys eventually, the rain now pounding down upon the steps as she flung herself into the house. Silence and darkness greeted her like an old friend, her body cold and numb as she strode up to her room. Why she was still living here was beyond her; every fibre of her body wanted to leave this forsaken and loveless home, but she had nowhere else to go. She could run away, but to where? Dropping her bag on her bedroom floor, Helga sought out her clothes, hoping to change before Bob got home.

Gathering something that she thought resembled comfortable clothing, Helga made her way gingerly to the bathroom. Locking it behind her, Helga felt her body physically relax for the first time today. Her damp clothes chucked into the corner near the door, Helga removed her beanie and ruffled her hair. There were so many styles she could use for her hair, but as she turned the shower on, she felt a stab of guilt hit her; _you will never be pretty._ Her watch beeped loudly; checking it, Helga sighed and removed it, placing it carefully on the sink. She had two hours till he got home.

Hot running water graceful streamed over her body, easing the constant numbness from her body. Perhaps this wasn't the best remedy for her, but as she touched the sensitive bruises on her back, Helga wanted nothing more in the world than to be able to cry. She wanted to let it out, relieve herself of the pain and feel safe once more. The memory of the bruise she had given Bob in their last encounter brought a brief smile to her lips; how her mother had ever put up with him she would never know.

Washing her hair, Helga tried to enjoy the break without her father being around her. Perhaps her mother had been right to leave her when she did; bitterly spitting into the drain, she knew it was all Big Bob's fault. They had argued like so many times before. But even as she had watched from the shadows of the stairs as a twelve year old on that raining and storming night, she knew by the increased level of noise and sustained arguing that this was not a normal argument for her parents. Miriam had been drinking heavily again; the empty bottles and stench of red wine was all the evidence Helga needed to confirm her theory, huddling behind the shadow of the stairs. Unfortunately for Miriam, that was all Big Bob needed too.

"You do nothing but drink around here; why do I even put up with you?" Bob shouted, his echoing voice stating the problem once more to anyone who had not heard it already.

"How dare you?" she mumbled, tears forming in her eyes once more.

"Face it Miriam; the only thing you ever produced that was worth being mentioned or praised was Olga; I'm just glad she's still at college and doesn't have to see the mess you have become."

In unison, Miriam and Helga both became incredibly pale, Helga's fragile heart feeling like it had dropped into her stomach and landed roughly from it. Both though had tears flowing down their faces as Miriam stuttered, "What about Helga?"

"Who is Helga? Olga's younger sister? She is about as likely to succeed in this world as you are to quit drinking; we both know that though will never happen," he smirked as he turned away.

Miriam had slugged down the remainder of the wine in her bottle and ran at him. Lunging at him with outstretched arms aiming to kill, Helga saw the two bodies fall to the ground as they began to fight once more. For what felt like hours Helga covered her eyes and blocked her ears; below her, her parents fought, wrestling angrily in an attempt to better the other. She couldn't stand this; she wanted to move out from the shadows and shout at them, but nothing would come to mind as their shouts rose, no doubt to be heard by everyone in the neighbourhood. Silence echoed for a brief moment; daring herself to open her eyes, Helga forever dreaded the sight before her, her dare now making her wish she had never opened her eyes ever again. Lying still on the floor, Miriam's eyes looked up at the ceiling blankly at a tearful Bob was trying frantically to check for a pulse. Something inside Helga made her snap; in one swift motion she had retreated to her bedroom and grabbed the phone that had only an hour ago had been used to call Phoebe and discuss…ice cream. Dialling the number, everything else turned to a blur. She remembered hearing what had happened; a fatal overdose of alcohol had damaged her system so severely she had passed out during the fight. There was nothing the doctors or medics had been able to do for her when they found her…nothing Bob had done could have prevented it, even if they hadn't fought…there was nothing she could do to bring her back… a beeping noise from the sink brought her to her senses; curled up in a ball, much like she had been when she was twelve, Helga shook her head and turned the running water above her off.

Drying herself hurriedly, Helga dressed and headed for the kitchen. Her rush down the stairs nearly became another tragic accident as she lost her footing on the stairs before landing clumsily on the bottom step. It was deathly quiet in the kitchen as she opened the fridge door, the creaking sending her heart into a flutter of panic; any moment he would be home. Spying something nice, Helga quickly made her meal and returned to her room, closing her bedroom door just in time to hear the lock on the front door click open.

Hours passed her by after she had finished her meal and yet nothing was coming to mind about her English work. With a weary glare at the book, she tossed it near her bag and lay back on her bed, enjoying the comforting embrace of the soft blanket beneath her. How she longed to be far away from here, held by someone who cared for her…someone with flowing blonde hair, warm loving embrace, soft gentle calming eyes…someone like Arnold.

Bolting upright, Helga shook her head. It was the first time in years she has thought about him absentmindedly, and now all impossible possibilities began to unfold in her mind, playing like a movie on repeat. The stray look to her closest made her wince; she had not written poetry since her mother's death. It was not for her not wanting to; but everything had become a roadblock since she left.

But something about maybe seeing the blonde haired boy once more triggered her body into motion. Before she could stop herself, Helga had opened the closest door and underneath her rather extensive collection of t-shirts she found what her heart sought after. It had been given to her by her mother at their last Christmas together as a family; a black book, framed in a fading gold frame was bound together with a single golden lock on the side, fitting the key she held in her hands. Taking a deep breath, Helga opened it with trembling hands. Pages as white as snow glistened before her, inviting her to touch and reveal her thoughts once more like a long lost lover. It was stupid, but as she sat down on the bed, she couldn't help but think about him again; the curve of his face, the softness of his blowing hair in the morning breeze and the warmth of his body holding hers tightly. Taking a pen from her side table, Helga took a deep breath before she began…

**A/N: Welcome and a happy new year to all! Please R & R if you can; I really do appreciate it. Aiming for a weekly update if not sooner; until next time!**


	2. Chapter Two: Her Anniversary

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. And thank you to pinkdolphin92 and twilight- for the reviews.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Two: Her Anniversary

"Criminey," she grumbled.

The stench had got to her once again; why couldn't these people ever clean up after themselves? If she ever found the person responsible for this atrocious scene, Helga had no reservations over the fact she would leave whoever was responsible wishing they had cleaned up the area before she had ever arrived. Despite the scene before her, Helga did not have a choice; the elderly male behind her wasn't exactly trust worthy in her books and the lady in front of her was more likely to sit and criticise her for her attire and choice of music. Kicking the seat near her, hidden from anyone's possible sight, Helga sat down and stuck her headphones in.

Nauseating could hardly cover the stench Helga smelt; how they could let the trains be so filthy and disgusting for two days in a row was beyond her. But no one would care for her complaints; the contents of the drunken person's stomach might, but she would have to get through the smell first. Turning the sound up once more, the afternoon rays glittered in the grime covered windows, allowing her a small respite from the harshness of the cold she had been feeling all day. Sickness was not the cause; something more had snapped after last night.

"Come on Helga, this is just silly; get your head together," she mumbled incoherently to herself.

Music began to blare from her headphones with Helga's humming distracting her from the whirring of her mind and dizziness she felt from the lack of air flow. Her day had been one long fight after another. _What did they expect when I said I had some poetry? Sure it wasn't my best work ever, but to be ridiculed by some academic morons who wouldn't know creativity if it came and bit them in the backside is stupid! It is beyond comprehension how they can expect to be taken seriously, _Helga thought to herself, wishing the train home would hurry up and finish.

Her back ached as the train lurched, slowing down to its next stop with reluctant care and want. Brushing aside a small part of her hair, Helga felt the train around her arrive at its resting place momentarily and mentally punched the air as the businesswoman in front of her gathered her belongings and made her way to the exit, no doubt picking up on the smell and wriggling her nose in disgust about it. Before she could have the chance to change her mind, Helga grabbed her bag and pounced on the opportunity, moving away from the smell and into the more cleanly and beautifully smelling area. Passengers around her interchanged and swapped their still positions for ones of activity and happiness, looking forward to their swift returns home while she hummed away to her tune. It wasn't long before they were moving once more, and not long before her eyes came upon the last person standing.

Wearing the same football cap he had adorned since he was a baby, Arnold swayed gently from side to side as the lurching of the train forcibly made everyone else in the carriage follow suit. An ease of calmness radiated from him, relaxing anybody nearby and sending Helga's heart in a flutter of electric shocks. The world around her now seemed so small and shallow, as if suddenly he was all that remained of her world and heart. Her mind though raced with the possibilities; a quick flicker around the carriage showed that there was only one seat left, providing you did not count the barf resting beside the worn seat. As her mind calculated the odds, she knew that the only remaining seat was beside her. And as he moved towards her, she knew something in her heart would burst if he sat next to her…but something was rising in her, a desire to snap and tell him to buzz off.

"Do you mind if I have this seat?" he asked sweetly, his smile warming the very depths of her very soul. How did he do that?

"Whatever floats your boat," she tried to smile back, biting her tongue at the words that could have followed.

Sitting beside her, Arnold avoided her peripheral gaze, instead choosing to resume the reading he had begun on the platform. Helga could hardly believe this; she would have killed when she was younger to have this chance alone with him. But now as she sat beside him, the butterflies did once more dance but the love she felt was eased and nearing a rather cold and gentle end.

"We met on the train yesterday, did we not?" he enquired, his focus never moving from his book.

Catching Helga by surprise she stuttered terribly, unable to form the words correctly to respond. "I know we did; you're wearing the same beanie as yesterday. Even though I spent most of the night wondering, I know where I have seen you before; the back of my head has been feeling better ever since you stopped spitting paper balls at me. It is wonderful to see you again Helga," Arnold grinned, turning to face her and closing his book.

D & F

Helga's brow frowned deeply, unable at this point to fathom the complexity of creating the flower arrangement she had been planning for her mother for months. It was tricky trying to find the right combination and arrange them perfectly; Phoebe always understood these things better than she ever could hope to. Placing the final cut to the small decorative flower with pin point precision, she placed it on the wreath and tried to smile; it was impressive, but it would not do for her mother. She would have to find some more appropriate flowers tomorrow and try again; until then she would have to return to her work. Straining under the weight of her books and the expectations of her lecturers, Helga flipped through the pages at will, unable to being herself to concentrate or take interest in the thoughts and opinions of people who were better off living the talk instead of simply writing it.

A loud thud from the door to the house shocked her, its opening and closing like cannonball explosions. Fear gripped her heart tightly; thundering steps and cursing below her room sent her mind into autopilot. Running to her door, she closed it firmly and bolted it, thankful once more as she had been many times before she had bought one of these when she did. Although she was not near the man, nor could she claim to smell him, Helga noticed the unmistakable odour of red wine drifting into her nostrils. Her stomach heaved at the thought of what he drank. Miriam had drunk a lot during her time and for most of Helga's childhood she had come to know not only the stench but the actions that could follow from it.

Returning to her work, her eyes scanned the pages furiously, unable to comprehend what was truly written and what lay before her. "If it was up to me Helga, I wouldn't try to factor in the questions she asks; instead focus on what she is trying to say without the mindless structuring of words she uses to hide the simple fact," a soft and petite voice interjected.

Helga spun her head around, looking around for the source of the voice until she came upon the slim figure of Phoebe, dressed in jeans and blue jumper. She smiled and giggled at Helga who simply returned to her work, disinterested in the girl standing in her room.

"How did you get in here Phebs?" she asked coldly, unable to stand another moment with her.

"Through the window of course Helga; I do seem to remember you having trouble with sleep walking when you were younger."

"And I do remember you being asked to forget that," Helga spat darkly.

A smirk formed across Phoebe's lips. "Forgetting."

Helga didn't need this right now; she already had enough on her plate as it was. "Why are you here Phoebe?"

With delicate movements and ease of grace, Phoebe sat down gently on Helga's bed, hardly leaving an imprint from where she sat. Fidgeting with her attire, Phoebe was successfully avoiding Helga's impatient gaze, the temptation to throw something at her growing with each passing second. "I thought you could do with some cheering up, especially on this cold night. Goodness knows that you need it Helga; how is he by the way?" Phoebe asked carefully.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled returning her attention to her work.

"Does ice-cream ring a bell?"

Grabbing a hold of the wreath, Helga threw it behind her at Phoebe, never taking her eyes away from the work in front of her. Before she knew it Phoebe was beside her, looking intently over her work. "It must be pretty hard to see him again after so long Helga. How are you holding up?"

Pushing herself away from the desk, Helga moved over to her bed and lay face down, burying her head under her pillow as Phoebe followed. "You can't run from me Helga. I am here and I am going to help you whether you like it or not."

A mumble of leave me alone from Helga did nothing to stop Phoebe from continuing. "You must still love him Helga; how could you not? You obsessed over the boy for most of your life and now you have a chance to be happy. Surely he isn't seeing someone else now after all that happened from the fallout with that girl at the high school prom?"

Helga removed the pillow and sat up, turning her attention to Phoebe once more. "Well…"

_Her heart was still racing after they had been talking for a while and she loved it. How she had dreamed of spending hours talking with him and getting to know Arnold without stalking him and now as he laughed politely at her lame explanation to her beanie, Helga dared to ask Arnold the next question. She didn't want to come off as jealous and become angry with him; but she couldn't let him know how she felt towards him. It would be too soon and he wouldn't believe her. She had to play it cool and calm, provide him with little pieces of information and then make up her mind later. But the question still buzzed in her head and she knew it would be better to ask now and know instead of holding onto a thin piece of hope._

"_So Arnold, are you seeing anybody now? I mean especially after that whole senior prom fiasco, I didn't think you would ever date someone again in at least ten years," Helga asked, trying to keep the hope in her voice to a bare minimum._

_Arnold rubbed his neck and looked down at the book in Helga's lap, no doubt uncomfortable about the memory. "Well…not really. She isn't interested and I guess I'm not either. It would be nice to date her but…I'm having my suspicions about her. Some of the things she gets up to now…anyway, I guess I'm not. Are you seeing anybody Helga?"_

_Helga's face turned pale. "Me? I mean, maybe I am," she grinned, trying to give off the air of being the most wanted girl in the world. "Is there something wrong if I am seeing someone?"_

"_Not at all; he's an incredibly lucky guy then," Arnold smiled. Helga tried to spot something sinister, maybe a twinge of jealously or anger, but nothing registered. Maybe he was genuinely happy for her…only trouble is though…_

"He's not taken?" Phoebe asked, unable to contain herself anymore.

Helga though slapped herself. "But it's over before it can even begin. Don't you see? Arnold thinks I have a boyfriend and if he believes this as being the fact, he won't want to…you know."

"Want to what Helga?"

Helga mumbled into her chest, causing Phoebe to lean closer. "Want to what Helga?"

"Date me! Ask me out! Take me to fancy restaurants and spend hours upon hours speaking of our love for one another, watching romantic sunsets and dreaming of the life we have together! Criminey, am I the only one who sees this?"

A thunder of footsteps from below was followed closely by, "Keep it down up there Olga!"

"Shut it Bob!" she roared back, earning a smashed bottle against the wall.

Phoebe watched Helga slump into her chair and stare blankly at the ceiling. "Regardless of Arnold's disposition to me, I just want to get out of here and move on with my life; I hate this place," she sighed.

"Well it may not be as hard as you think Helga; if my calculations are correct, telling Arnold that you do not in fact have a boyfriend will be highly beneficial."

"Explain," Helga asked, peering at her carefully.

"Well males tend to focus their time more so on those that are single and are honest, being kind and caring-"

"Uh huh, so what you're saying is that if I tell him I'm single, he'll probably go for me?"

"Precisely," Phoebe smiled. "I'll be heading off though now Helga."

Helga nodded and returned to her book work. Even though there was a requirement to attend all lectures, Helga was sure that no one would notice if she slipped out for this one in particular. She still couldn't believe that tomorrow had come around again so suddenly; last time she hadn't been able pry herself away from the grave for three hours. And it never got easier to walk up that path, praying with all her might that she wasn't here again. A small tear dripped down her cheek; wiping it away, she headed over to her bed and tried for the sleep she knew would never come.

D & F

Her dress wasn't meant to be glamorous or attractive and as she made her way down the stairs, Helga wanted nothing more than to simply turn around and go back to bed. Dressed in black, she sighed and passed the living room where Bob remained knocked out. Carefully she opened the door and silently left the house, heading off down the path before Bob would realise she was gone. Dawn's light had arrived, but gloomy grey skies adorned the horizon as Helga made her way towards the flower shop. Popping in quickly, the old lady simply nodded and headed out back. Returning minutes later with the blood red and snow white roses placed into a wreath, Helga hastily paid for them and turned her attention towards the park. She needed to pick up some food before heading to the graveyard; Bob had forgotten to buy the groceries once more, meaning another stop in the park for breakfast. Ever since Willie, better known as the Jolly Olly Man, had changed from ice-cream to coffee, he had become a daily part of her life. His stand in the park was her target as she walked up the familiar path once more, the smell of pastries and tantalising coffee warming her stomach better than love could.

As she neared the stand, Helga could see Willie smile and wave at her, before hurrying to serve his other customer at the stand. She could feel her heart rise a little at the thought of breakfast and enjoying another of the delicious pastries. By the time she arrived, Willie had the coffee ready and her muffin waiting on the counter. For a moment he eyed her carefully before nodding solemnly, Willie bidding her farewell while saying it was on the house.

Spying the park bench nearby, Helga trenched herself towards it, planting herself down and not wanting to move for the remainder of the day. Grey clouds above reminded her why she was here; tears threatened to spill over as she watched people around her go past, smiling and laughing at the day and not knowing that inside she was torn apart; there was no one coming to save her this time from the darkness. As she sipped on her coffee, Arnold appeared at the stand dressed in a black suit, grabbing his coffee and walking towards her. Helga wasn't surprised to find him here of all places; she had planned to meet him today to help her with this. But now as he sat beside her, she wished to be far away, never seeing or hearing anything ever again.

"How are you holding up Helga?" he asked, the smell of his coffee doing wonders for the sleep in his eyes.

For a while she didn't respond; she couldn't face this day again, not after everything that had happened. "I'm fine as always football head." Arnold smiled gently before returning to the coffee in his hand.

"Do you think the dead remember us? Do you think they can forgive?" Helga asked absentmindedly. She wasn't expecting an answer back; a child running up to their mother only made her pain worse as Arnold struggled to come up with a response.

"I don't know Helga," was the best he could do.

She nodded solemnly and tried to focus on something else. But everything would only lead her back to the rawness of her pain and hurt she still felt beneath the surface. How could she have not noticed the signs? Not tried to help her when everything told her to do so? She needed to know that the dead could forgive…forgive her for everything she had done…and hadn't…

"Helga?"

Startled from her thoughts, Helga felt her skin pale as Arnold brought her back to her senses. The flowers in her hands felt empty and shallow, a simple hollow reminder of what she had once had with someone so special and wonderful to her. The coldness from the air around her only made her know deep down that she had only come to realise it once it was over. "I'm fine Arnold."

For a while they did not speak; Helga slowly ate away at her pastry, no longer enjoying the sweetness and tempting divine bliss it would normally bring her. It was like waiting for the storm to erupt; she knew it was coming, but she didn't want to believe that it was going to happen again. After a while she knew it was time; the clouds had grown darker and she did not fancy having to walk home in the rain. Resting the cup beside her, she turned her eyes to Arnold and looked at him desperately. How she longed to be lost in his gaze.

He nodded and stood up, their time growing slimmer by the second. "I guess it is time Helga; are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've managed without you for a few years Arnold so I'm sure I will be fine once more. Takes more than this to break Helga G. Pataki," she puffed her chest out, trying to put the mask on that she had used so well for so long.

"Whatever you say Helga; come on, we should get going though."

Walking side by side, the two never spoke as the path took them through most of the district and into the graveyard, sending shivers up Helga's spine as they moved through the trees and stones with due care. For a while Helga thought they may have been lost and would have to turn around, but as she caught a glimpse of black in the distance, Helga knew they were exactly where they needed to be. Coming upon a man dressed in black, Helga felt a pang of regret for Gerald as he struggled to hold back the tears she knew he wept. Arnold upon seeing his best mate walked up to him and hugged him tightly, before turning to Helga who stood frozen in front of the stone she wished she never had to read.

She loved her so dearly; Helga had never stopped to think of how much an impact she would have on her when she died. It had been so sudden, so unexpected. How she wished to tell her she was sorry and wanted to spend her time making it right for her. How she wished for the guiding advice and words that only she could provide when moments became too much for her to deal with.

Arnold had moved away from Gerald who remained routed on the spot, unable to move from what his eyes saw. The wreath was clenched tightly in her fingers, the flowers slowly falling to the ground as Helga's eyes remained locked on the headstone before her. "Helga, why don't you put the wreath down?" Arnold asked gently.

"I…I can't do it," Helga mumbled, her tears now flowing freely and spilling onto her dress. She turned her eyes towards Arnold and he saw it before he could prepare himself for it; burned into her eyes was raw emotion, torture, pain and an everlasting hurt she felt so deeply he could feel himself being consumed by it. Arnold's heart was breaking as she looked at him helplessly, unable to move from the spot and looking as though she would collapse any moment.

Small drops of rain began to fall upon them as Arnold came up beside her and tried to look her in the eye. "It wasn't your fault Helga."

"It feels like it should have been though Arnold; I should have seen it coming. I loved her so much," Helga cried out, before sobbing into Arnold's chest. Holding her against him tightly, Arnold shook his head as Gerald joined them, his eyes telling of one who had lost everything. Arnold tried not to focus on it, but he couldn't help but cry softly as the rain came down harder upon the three of them. Inscribed neatly on the stone read the following:

_Here lies_

_Phoebe Heyerdahl_

_May she forever rest in the peace she could not find amongst us._

_We shall forever miss you our beloved daughter and friend._

**A/N: Thank you for reading this far. Please R & R if you have the chance; I do appreciate it greatly for taking your time to let me know what you think. Next chapter should be up in a week. Unt****il then take care and stay safe!**


	3. Chapter Three: The Angel

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Sorry for the delay; hope you enjoy anyway. Thanks to Nep2une, Lena2244, Criminy25 and Twilight-. Without your thoughts, I don't think this would be as good. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Three: The Angel

Helga sat numbly. The bone chilling rain had eased for now; however, dark clouds hung suspended above her with watching eyes for the perfect moment to strike at her once more. Eyes transfixed on the stone, she tried to think but couldn't. Last year had been the same; she had been alone, unable to move away from the graveyard for hours. Nothing around her could remove the connection her soul had with Phoebe at this moment; no matter how many times she told herself this would become easier, Helga always felt the same surging numbing pain in the very depths of her soul.

Time had long since passed her by, her escape into her own world shattered as Arnold joined her, Gerald squatting down next to him as they talked quietly about Phoebe and all the time they had together. Vaguely in the distance of her mind Helga could hear them, but it was as if they were worlds away, the time between them fleeting and insignificant as their voices faded out to nothing. For all the time she had spent with Phoebe, Helga wondered if she had ever really known her at all. Sure they had spent their school days together discussing the ins and outs of relationships, spent many nights watching movies and discussing ice-cream, but she couldn't remember them ever really discussing too much about her personal life, or for that matter her daily activities outside of school time. She knew beyond a doubt the feelings Phoebe had for Gerald; the prom had revealed it to everyone, but no one had guessed it would be over before it had begun.

Glancing at Gerald, Helga's heart wept with deep sorrow for the tall haired boy; they should have been celebrating their time together, reminiscing the courtship during high school and talking of the future they were to have together. Instead he was placing not a ring on her finger, but flowers on a grave that would now forever contain a constant reminder of their close friend. Clenching her hands tightly, Helga tore herself away from the tomb stone and looked out over the graveyard, deciding that above everything else she wanted to leave. She had said her farewells to Phoebe once more; there was nothing left to say or do. But she couldn't leave Arnold behind, especially with Gerald mourning Phoebe more than she ever could. Arnold looked to her half desperately and she sighed, wondering how long Gerald might be like this.

"Gerald?" she asked softly, earning a tired and distraught look from the young man. "Would you like to go and get some ice-cream?"

Gerald's face seemed to pale before nodding at the suggestion, his eyes void of recognition at who Helga was. Arnold helped up his friend gingerly, trying to keep him as warm as possible after the onslaught of rain earlier. He already had Arnold's jacket wrapped around him tightly, and with Helga's help, the trio farewelled the headstone, saying their last words before setting out for the shops. For a while they walked on without uttering a word, however all silently praying the rain would hold for the time being. Friday seemed to have the strangest effect on everyone in the town however; while they were allowed to move through without questioning, the odd stare or look would worry Helga, their almost disapproving looks suggesting they were analysing her every move, watching her closely for any sign of joy on this painful day.

Trudging through the remains of the weather from earlier, they arrived in the store to find it nearing empty; save a few staff who were casually wandering the aisles pretending to work, Helga could have sworn it was either a day off for the city or the town had simply ceased to exist. In a few minutes they were out of the store, carrying their spoils and hastily making their way to the boarding house. No sooner had they entered the near ancient boarding house, Helga heard the wise cackling of an old man, his bald head and pointy chin the perfect complement to the push ups he performed on the ground with an older lady sitting on his back.

"Hey Shortman, where's the party at?" he cackled, the older lady on his back yelling out happily in joy at he pushed up once more. Helga had never seen such an athletic old man, but then again nothing in Arnold's life had ever exactly been ordinary.

"There isn't a party Grandpa; we're just heading up to my room to eat some ice-cream."

The old woman with purplish hair jumped off the back of Grandpa and made her way towards Helga, eyeing her closely before pulling out her magnifying glass. "And just who might you be slick?" she asked, pushing the magnifying glass into Helga's face.

"My name is Helga," she mumbled out from beneath the glass now being shoved into her mouth.

"Looks like a double agent; I'd keep a close eye on her if I were you," she nodded to Arnold, who shrugged and tried to move on.

"Why so glum though Arnold? And Gerald wasn't it? Why are you both so down in the dumps?" Grandpa asked as Gerald, unaware his name had been mentioned, continued heading upstairs, leaving Helga speechless and Arnold rubbing the back of his neck.

"Do you remember that night Grandpa? The one with the…accident," he whispered, earning a pale reflection from Grandpa.

"Oh dear…you don't mean…oh Shortman I'm sorry. Why don't you go tend to Gerald upstairs? Pookie and I won't disturb you till dinner if you like."

Arnold nodded his thanks and left, hastening up the stairs to try and catch up to Gerald. As Helga began to move, Grandma saddled up beside her, her movements surprisingly fluid and fast for one so old. Turning to face her, Grandma whispered "It's nice to see you again Helga."

Confused, Helga looked at her strangely as Grandma nodded and waved her towards the stairs. Never needing to be told twice, Helga marched up the stairs quickly, passing the doors of the various tenants before arriving at the base of the stairs to Arnold's room. Sobbing ahead slowed her progress, knowing that Gerald was likely to be confiding in Arnold something personal that she did not want to hear. She felt odd coming to a halt near the door of Arnold's room; all those times she had spent trying to rescue her deep secrets from Arnold and now here she was, walking into his sanctuary willingly and in it, she may reveal to him some of her childish notions. On second thoughts maybe she would hang onto those thoughts for a little longer.

Pushing aside the partially open door, Helga's eyes first came upon Gerald, whose weary body lay on the couch, hands clutching the blanket around him and shutting his eyes tightly. She pitied him and patted his shoulder as she walked past, following Arnold's gesture for her to join him at the computer desk. She could tell Arnold was trying to keep his positivity going, despite his best friend weeping openly on the couch. Opening the ice-cream tub on the desk, Helga proceeded to eat without hesitation; she was always sucker for chocolate. But Arnold's unwavering gaze nerved her; he hadn't stopped trying to break through her mask for any signs of hurt or grief.

"What is it football head; see something you like?" she glared half-heartedly, the old venom from previous encounters creeping back to the front of her mind. She had to hide; he couldn't see her as being weak.

Arnold appeared taken back and froze for a few moments. Shaking his head, he opened another of the tubs and began to eat away at the peppermint ice-cream. Whatever had caught his attention was gone. Helga smirked to herself, resuming her devouring of the ice-cream without a second glance.

"How long do you think he will be like this?" Helga asked after a while, enjoying the chill she got from eating so much ice-cream.

"I don't know; last year was pretty bad for him. He didn't speak for a day at least. He just lay sobbing on the couch. I wish there was something I could do for him though; I hate having to watch him go through this."

Helga wanted to tell him to not worry, but watching Gerald remain lifeless and numb, she only wanted to move over to him and hug him tightly. What she would give to simply remind Gerald that everything would be alright and that all this heartache would end. But how could it? She herself was on the brink of tears with each passing minute and all because she hadn't known what to do. _Damn it Phoebe; why did it have to be you? Why couldn't it be someone else?_ She thought bitterly. Arnold seemed to take her silence as a gesture for not speaking and allowed her that luxury.

The two deaths in Helga's life had come too close for her liking; in another week she would be mourning her mother's passing. _Why me?_

"Why don't you get Gerald to tell us one of those ramblings?" Helga asked in between ice-cream scoops being shovelled into her mouth with ravenous delight.

"You mean urban legends Helga," Arnold corrected, Helga earning a half glare of annoyance and…teasing? Helga moved it to the back of her mind.

"Exactly; I'm sure it would take his mind off the whole thing."

Arnold shrugged, unsure of how Gerald might react but decided it would be better than nothing. Moving over to Gerald, he whispered only into his ears. Helga moved back and watched as Gerald gingerly sat up, wiping his bloodshot eyes and taking some of the ice-cream offered to him. Arnold nearly laughed through firmly shut lips as Gerald scoffed it in down in haste, licking away any remains and starting to look like his normal self once more.

"My man, this is some fine ice-cream; remind me to buy some more tomorrow. Anyway Helga, you wanted to hear a tale of mystifying brilliance and tragic love, correct?" Gerald smirked, earning a laugh from Helga at the sight of Gerald trying to be smooth with her.

"Whatever floats your boat hair boy."

Standing up, Gerald cracked his fingers and turned the lights off, Helga moving to the floor and grabbing a pillow as Arnold followed suit with a blanket. Torch plucked from the wall, Gerald stood above them, menacing and ancient, like a stone carving warning of dangers ahead. Trying to clear his throat, Gerald appeared lost in thought as he stretched and readied himself for the tale. "As keeper of the tales, it is my duty to report them in the exact manner to which I was told. This story was passed down to me on the eve of our graduation; legend has it that a woman haunts this earth… known only as 'The Angel'…"

_Upon a cold starry lit night many winters ago, there lived a young woman, her beauty unsurpassed throughout the land. Many men from all lands would venture from near and far, their travels leading them to simply gaze upon this fair maiden's face, hoping to attain that greatest of prizes: her hand in marriage. One by one however, the men fell at her side, pushed into the background of her life as she continued on through her rather comfortable and easy life. And so it was that life remained the same for many years for this dear fair maiden._

_But one day, a young man appeared in town, dressed strangely yet appropriately for one travelling. Now this young man was no finer than the most handsome of men, but the young woman instantly fell in love with this stranger. It was thought witchcraft played a part, but this was love like no other. Before anyone knew what had happened, the young couple were engaged, pledging themselves to live throughout the time they had here on earth together as one._

_Now legend tells us that this was no ordinary man; some say the man was a god brought back into human form, others a devil in disguise, planning to pillage and rape the town before descending back into the fiery classism below. Me? I think he was just an old hobo from out of town. But this man was something more than that. On the eve of their marriage, the young man confided in her his secret, the reason he was here: he was a fallen angel._

_Contrary to popular belief, the young man did not kill his soon to be bride for finding out his secret. In fact the young man set out for his home across the local town bridge. But that was when disaster struck; for months the young woman had been campaigning to have the old rickety bridge fixed, but her words had fallen on deaf ears. As the carriage came upon the bridge near midnight, the wheels came loose on his carriage and before he could react and find a way out, his carriage tumbled over the side, his horse racing into the darkness as the carriage sunk into the muddy pool of death. He struggled against the locked door, but as the water seeped in, he knew there was nothing left for him. _

_The morning returned and the young woman watched in horror as they managed to drag the carriage out from the muddy depths, the horse gone without a trace and leaving behind only the foul smelling carriage. Opening the locked door carefully, wave upon wave of water tumbled out from the carriage, an amount not possible for any normal drowning. However the fair maiden peered in, desperate to comfort her soul with the knowledge he would be there and be alright._

_But there was n__othing. There was no sign of the body. She jumped in and looked around, unable to understand where he could have gone. Nobody had come out of the river and the doors had been locked tightly. No one co__uld swim through the murky water.__S__he collapsed on the seat and cried. The poor gir__l's heart__ was broken beyond repair. She left the carriage shortly after and never returned to __it,__ unable to face__ the cruelty__ life__ had dealt__ her__. For weeks she spent her time inside her house, no one seeing more than a face through the windows. And then one morning, she simply left the town, vanishing without a trace. People checked through her house and found only a single note with four words written on it with dark crimson: _I will find him.

_Over time people throughout all the towns began to notice a stranger amongst them, but before they could identify her she would vanish, gone with the wind once more. Some say her ghost haunts us today, others say that she died and her body marks the final resting place of her lover. However, some say she still searches for him to this day, wandering through the wilderness to find her fallen angel…_

Night had fallen upon them. Helga sat motionless, unable to think clearly as Gerald finished, lowering himself down onto the couch once more, his eyes weary and body shaking as Arnold wrapped the blanket around him securely. She could feel her heart being torn apart…but why? She wasn't trying to forget Phoebe or her mother…but maybe she had been trying to forget him. Helga gazed up and watched Arnold for a while, who soothed his tired friend and helped him to sleep, the music in his room playing softly and causing her mind to drift away on the ease of blues.

Arnold was beside her, helping her towards his bed, her feet numb and legs heavy with wear and tear. She tried to fight back against his hands, but his gentle feel and soft skin only made her comply all the more with his movements. Falling onto the bed rather than sitting, Arnold removed her shoes and socks, picking her legs up and turning them towards his bed, like a father would to a child before sleeping. Helga couldn't help but feel empty, her heart pounding numbness throughout her body at the thoughts of not being able to see her again. Phoebe was her friend…

"Are you warm enough Helga? I can get you another blanket if you want it," he asked soothingly, tucking her comfortably and safely underneath the bed spread.

"…I'm fine Arnold; are you sure you don't want your bed? I can head home-"

"Nonsense Helga; I wouldn't have you leave now, not when you've been struggling with today. You just rest easy and I'll look after you."

Helga motioned to nod but felt her neck tighten in pain and thought better against it. Arnold slowly trudged to get the spare blankets, grabbing a sleeping bag from out of the closest and opening it up on the floor. Helga watched him pass and move, eventually lying down and pressing a button to turn the lights off. Watching in awe as the dark clouds above vanished from view, window shielding in the form of curtains began to rise up the sides of the windows, blocking out any light and plunging the room into darkness.

She tried to calm herself down and focus on sleeping, but the sudden stillness of night was only broken by the first drops of rain splashing against the windows. Before long the downpour had begun, her mind only able to focus long enough on the rain before drifting into the slumber of sleep.

D & F

_Her heart was pounding beyond relief; Helga wasn't about to give into it. The smell was tantalising to her; all she had to do was lean in and experience the delight her soul yearned for. But she couldn't do this. It was all wrong; he wasn't meant to be here tonight. She was meant to be alone, watching the news go by and dreaming away the night with her movies and chocolate. But how could he be here now?_

"_I don't understand," she mumbled, his eyes focused intently on hers._

"_You don't have to try Helga," he whispered back._

_Leaning in further, Helga's mind was in panic before she felt them; pressing against her lips firmly but gently, Helga's body turned to jelly, responding to the simplest of touches as his hands brushed against her arms, rubbing them as he deepened the kiss. Soft gentle pokes from his tongue against her lips only made her weaker; how she had yearned for this moment, the soft tender kisses and gentle embrace as she moulded against him. Her heart fluttered as he moaned softly, kissing her passionately before pulling apart from her lips._

_Smirking at her with pleasure and delight, he squeezed her arm playfully, moving his lips over her neck, causing Helga to moan deeply as he kissed it softly. "Oh Arnold…"_

"Helga?"

"Oh Arnnn… don't sneak up on me like that!" Helga yelled, eyes shooting open and body twisting the sheets around her, falling onto the ground as Arnold stood over her amused.

"Something you'd like to tell me Helga?" he smirked.

"Nothing you need to know football head. What time is it?" Helga murmured as she gingerly made her way back onto the bed.

"Eight o'clock; you were moaning for a bit so I thought I'd bring you breakfast," Arnold smiled, gathering the tray from the door and handing it too her. Helga had heard about the cooking of his Grandma before and was expecting something dangerous. She dared to open her eyes and saw not a bean curdling contraption of doom, but bacon and eggs, pancakes to the side and a cup of coffee. She looked up at Arnold who laughed, having worked out the puzzlement in Helga.

"I made breakfast this morning; Gerald's downstairs eating with Grandpa and he'll be gone soon."

Gratefully accepting it, Helga began to work her way through the cooking. It was better than she thought; it certainly wasn't the best meal she had ever had, but this was near the top. Not bad for a football head. "Where did you learn to cook?" she asked in between mouthfuls.

"Over time mainly; it's not hard to make these you know. Besides there's something I have to ask you Helga," he finished, causing Helga to nearly gag on the food in her mouth. Something he had to ask her?

His nerves were getting the better of him, she could tell. He was starting to rub the back of his neck, he was avoiding her gaze and she could swear she could see his…_eyes up here Helga,_ she thought mentally, trying to avert her eyes from wandering any lower than his lips. _Could it be he has realised his feelings for me after all these years? Am I about to become Mrs. Arnold…what is his last name anyway?_

Helga made a mental note to ask him this; it would do no good to marry a boy she didn't even know the last name of. Arnold seemed to churn the thoughts in his stomach in trying to ask her this question. Once it came out, he stuttered in between each word, unable to clearly speak it. "I just wanted to know if you would –"

Her heart caught itself in her throat as the phone next to the bed roared to life. Arnold seemed glad to be rid of the moment and answered it, leaving Helga to continue her breakfast. She watched casually as he moved around the room, greeting, laughing and frowning far more deeply than she had ever seen him do before.

"No I'm not going to…how could you even say that? After everything you've done…No I'm not covering for you…we aren't even…I may have years ago," he whispered darkly, looking over quickly to try and reassure Helga, "But you've changed…why we are still…don't say that."

Helga tried to tune out; her breakfast was now exquisitely the greatest thing she had ever eaten, not to mention the most interesting. Dread was creeping over her as the conversation continued. "…for someone who is supposed to care about me, you're doing a lousy job. Regardless of how I feel, this is over…no I don't want to talk…fine, if it will shut you up come and see me in a couple of hours. You won't change my mind though."

Whoever the person was on the other end, Helga was worried; Arnold was starting to talk louder, as if arguing a point she had no right in hearing. Perhaps this was best; he hung up dismissively and stormed back to the bed, causing Helga to become fearful. The anger in his eyes was enough to convince her it was time to go.

"I'm sorry about that Helga. Where were we?"

"Who was that?" she asked carefully, fearful he may respond unkindly.

"No one," he mumbled, his muscles twitching as he looked away.

"They didn't seem like no one."

"I would rather not say who they are Helga," Arnold replied coldly.

Helga wanted to try and push it, but the anger in his voice was enough to make her weary. She had seen this before: the tightened knuckles, nearly bulging vein and the fury…no, venomous anger that seemed to radiate form within him was scaring her. He was only one step away from…she had to avoid this now.

"I've got to go Arnold," she whispered more to herself.

Arnold froze on the spot, trying to make sense of what she said. "Are you sure? You don't have to go yet-"

"No, really I have to go," she replied, gathering her belongings and walking down the stairs, leaving him bewildered in her wake. She wasn't meant to be here; passing Gerald in the kitchen, Helga opened the door and left quickly. The trip home was going to be a long one and it was only as she boarded the bus that she realised it: what was he going to ask her?

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting; time does get away from you when travelling so I shall endeavour to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please R & R if you can; I really do value your thoughts and opinions on the story. Until next time!**


	4. Chapter Four: Dreams and Loss

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Special thanks to Nep2uune and Lena2244 for the reviews on the last chapter and special thanks to my new beta, whose help I greatly appreciate. Please R & R if you have a chance. Otherwise enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Four: Dreams and Loss

Miriam's day had come and gone; now sitting on the train and awaiting the moment she knew would ruin her day, Helga continued to scribble and write down her thoughts in a fury of scratches and markings, her eyes scanning her work closely and analysing each section with pin point accuracy. She could feel the tremendous excitement of being able to write clearly again after so long building inside her, and as she scanned her latest poem, Helga could not help but smile. Ever since her mother had passed away, it had become increasingly harder to write down the life she had once lived. Phoebe leaving her so soon hadn't eased the pain either…Helga shook her head and managed to avoid spilling her books onto the ground as the doors opened once more.

Helga paused for a moment, lost in her thoughts as the train gathered momentum. Her repression was impeccable; straining with all her might to remember how Phoebe ended her life was far more difficult than she remembered. It wasn't enough for Helga to have repressed it, but it felt as though she had denied herself ever reliving the moment again, even in the privacy of her own mind. Taking hold of the pen in her hand, Helga tried and tried to remember how it happened, but nothing came to mind. She wrote the name over and over, the process almost hypnotic in its rhythm as she drove her mind further and further towards Phoebe. After a while she gave up; whatever was suppressing her memory became harder to break just by thinking about it.

Her jaw tightened as she steeled herself once more. She would write whatever came to mind about Phoebe…and then it clicked.

_A few years ago…_

"_And that is why it should be tomorrow Phebs; no one else will wish they ever messed with Helga G. Pataki," she boasted proudly, aware that Phoebe would no doubt find a flaw somewhere in her plan._

"_I see what you mean Helga, but I'm not so sure. Could we perhaps speak in person?" the timid voice replied on the other end._

_Helga didn't see a problem with doing so and told her to meet her at the normal spot. Hanging up, she paused for a moment before going to grab her coat. As her fingers touched it, her heart began to pump harder; something was wrong. Panic set in as she wrapped it around herself. Time passed her by as…_

Dropping the pen onto the page, Helga shook her head and groaned. It still wasn't working. No matter how much she wanted this, Helga knew it wouldn't help to try and pry open the hidden recesses of her mind. The train came to another stop and collecting her belongings, Helga headed off for what would become another dreary, uneventful day.

D & F

"Another reason for no one to ever attempt the record of spinning paper on their head while writing," the lecturer smiled, earning forced laughs from most of the students. Helga wanted to bang her head against the desk harder than anything. And upon hearing a small laugh from beside her, Helga groaned in disappointment.

"What is it Phoebe?" she murmured, unable to be heard by anyone else.

"I thought that joke was most amusing seeing as how to spin paper on your head and write at the same time-"

"Save it Phebs. I don't want to hear it."

Slumping down further into her chair, Helga brushed aside the stray hair from her eyes as Phoebe pondered deeply beside her. Today had only gone from dull to drop dead boring, and this latest addition to her mind numbing experience wasn't helping her mood. They had been promised a visitor at the beginning of the talk, but so far no one had materialised apart from the shabby old professor, whose terrible jokes were fast wearing thin on her already frayed nerves.

Chatter descended upon the class as the professor stopped to refill his glass. A few smiles to her right from some of the confident young men only earned a cold hard glare; she wasn't interested and they were only wasting their time.

"Maybe you should give them a chance," Phoebe suggested, stroking Helga's hair as Helga tried to shrug her off.

"Maybe I should introduce them to Old Betsy instead; it would certainly help me feel better," she grinned evilly.

Coughing loudly from the stage, the old wheezy man straightened his jacket and began to speak, again much to Helga's annoyance.

"I am sorry for keeping you all in suspense," he looked at the crowd happily, expecting to hear the laughter that never came, "but this concludes our session for today. Should you wish to stay and hear our guest speaker please feel free to do so. Otherwise I look forward to seeing you all next week."

Students all around the room picked up their books and left, some pausing to chat to their friends before the room began to empty. Slowly Helga grabbed her books together and moved down closer to the front. By the time she had set herself back up near the front, only a handful of her classmates remained behind. Some of the people staying behind were what she assumed to be nerds and a couple who had fallen asleep during the lecture, who were now getting a rather rude and shocking awakening as the guest speaker came out. Pulling her beanie down further, Helga nearly died when she saw who was walking out before her.

Dressed in a suit, his hair brushed back and cap sitting safely as always on his head, Arnold smiled brightly to the remaining students and began to sort through his notes, glad that only a handful of the group remained behind to hear him speak. Their eyes analysed every move he made, his heart thumping in his chest loudly as he made his way towards the group.

"Hi, my name is Arnold. Your professor has asked that I come in to speak to you about my current work involving…"

Helga's mind drifted from his voice towards his finely crafted figure instead, unable to keep her eyes from looking at him. He exuded confidence, his growth in height making his tall standing figure tower over them. Smiling brightly to everyone like normal, his calm and easy manner soothed the class. But that was not what interested her the most; something about Arnold suggested a man uneasy with himself. She knew he couldn't recognise her as she sat before him, but she could sense the unease in him. As he moved his hands to scratch his head, Helga saw the unmistakable sign of a bruise.

Its size and shape was consistent with that of a pole, perhaps a long tube of some kind. Surely he would not be the type to fight out of boredom, but then again as she rubbed her arm tenderly, she didn't really know him all that well these days. It was becoming apparent though, as he spoke, that he was unsure of himself and falling quickly into his fear, as the nerds in front of her began to smirk and laugh under their breath at his claims and ideas. As he finished, she knew no one would want to stay back and talk. And just as suddenly as he had appeared, Arnold vanished, undoubtedly embarrassed, leaving Helga to make her way wearily from the theatre, her mind turning over all she had seen and all she thought was to come.

D & F

Another stop on her way home; annoyance already seeping through her at the wanning sunlight, Helga stood up to allow the old lady to sit down, who thanked her before launching into a tirade on how young people should respect those around them, her voice echoing throughout the carriage. Moving away, she searched for a place to sit down, her legs not wishing to remain standing for the remainder of the trip home. Phoebe's uneasy presence beside her only made it worse; shaking her head in vain, the young girl followed her as she continued to make her way through the carriage.

_I must be going mad; she's never turned up like this before, _Helga worried deeply. Her mind was starting to spin weirdly; her thoughts were becoming jumbled, incoherent and desperate in their hopefulness. _Go away Phoebe_, she pleaded as she finally came upon a spare seat. As she neared it, Helga could make out the brushed down hair, small blue cap and football shaped head sitting with his back towards her. She wanted to keep going down the carriage and avoid talking to him, but her pity for him got the best of her and before she could help herself, Helga sat down next to Arnold and tried to cheer him up.

For a while he would not respond much, leaving Helga to try and find a way of making him speak. "How's Gerald?" she finally asked.

Arnold turned towards her, his face overcome and hopeless. "Gerald? I haven't really heard from him since we went to the graveyard; the last I heard he was doing ok."

Helga nodded as Arnold resumed his focus on the ground. Deciding it was pointless, Helga pulled out her headphones and stuck them in, turning her music up loudly to block out all the other voices echoing throughout the carriage. Things began to drift in her mind, succumbing to the strain of the day as she closed her eyes…

"Helga?"

Waking up groggily, Helga's eyes ached terribly; feeling for her ears, one earphone lay harmless on her chest, the other still plugged in and playing her music, now painfully loud, in her ear. Removing it, Helga looked around to find that night had set in and only she, Arnold and a few other passengers remained. She had stayed back late to attend Arnold's lecture, but even now…

"What time is it?" she yawned, stretching her arms.

"Seven-twenty-nine."

"Shouldn't we be home by now?"

Arnold shrugged his shoulders. "We were delayed for a while."

Her head nodded, but she felt herself aching terribly from the way she slept. "Finally out of your daydreams football head?"

"Daydreams? Oh…sorry."

Helga smirked.

"And…I'm sorry about the other day too Helga."

Silence drifted upon them, each lost in their thoughts and praying the uneasiness between them would leave. As she pondered how the two of them were going to get out of this mess, her mind clicked: he had something he had wanted to tell her.

"Arnold?" she finally asked.

With the look of a man ready to die, Arnold dared to look at her. "Do you remember what you were going to tell me the other day? After the phone call, I didn't dare hang around."

Arnold's face screwed up with concentration before sighing deeply. "I do remember Helga. But I can't explain it well enough to you though."

"Well, maybe if you talk as someone else, it might help you?"

"Someone else?" Arnold asked puzzled.

"Talk as if you were someone else, explaining the same situation but applying it to someone else."

Arnold was struggling to process this, leaving Helga to watch on patiently. Finally he appeared ready and began to explaining it to her. "Well I'm…this guy I know is having a really hard time lately. His girlfriend…well kind of girlfriend is cheating on him. He knows she is and she even tells him to his face. But he can't get away from her, no matter how hard he tries."

Her heart fell as he told her his story. She had wanted so badly to hear him ask her to date him, but then again her life had never been that great. Luck would never favour her. But regardless of how she felt, Helga had to try and help him, even if it meant watching him never notice the way she loved him…why did she have to be like this? "So why is she cheating on him?" Helga asked, sensing that Arnold was struggling to get this out.

"I can't tell. I think it has to do with something he did, but at the same time she isn't exactly an example of perfection herself. I wish I knew what to do though," Arnold sobbed, unable to hold onto his emotions anymore.

"You mean your friend right?"

Arnold didn't laugh at her attempt to joke. It was hard trying to keep Arnold's sobbing silent to everyone else on the carriage without someone asking if he was alright, but Helga managed to convince him to sob into her tissue. For a while she simply rubbed his back, mainly to comfort him but to also distract herself from the murderous thoughts circulating in her mind. Death was in the air as she handed Arnold another tissue, his distraught features fuelling the fire in her heart to protect him. _I swear I will hurt whoever has done this to you Arnold._

Clenching his fists tightly, afraid he might fall at any second, Arnold turned to Helga, the puffy red eyes cracking her heart; she couldn't bear to see him like this anymore. "What should I do Helga?" he managed to say in between sobbing and choking on his tears.

"I think you should dump her," she replied coldly, much to Arnold's shock.

"Why?"

"Do I really have to tell you why it's such a great idea football head? The girl has cheated on you; no matter how much she may have liked you or even loved you, when someone does that there is no love to find in their heart anymore. Depending on what you did to her Arnold, I think you need to end this."

"Maybe I deserve this though," he mumbled.

"And why would you think that?" she wondered out loud.

"Because I changed a nice girl, a girl who was sweeter than anything else in the world into…this monster. I deserve to be punished for what I did."

Sighing deeply, Helga felt her vulnerable heart come to surface again. "No you don't Arnold," she spoke gently. "No one with a heart that is so kind, caring and good deserves to have someone destroy them completely, even if they did make a mistake towards them. You deserve to have a girl who will treat you right, love you and care for you like you are the most important person in the world. Or guy, whatever floats your boat," she smirked, earning a light laugh from Arnold as he wiped away the tears.

"Wow Helga I'm impressed; where do you come up with this stuff?"

Her face turned red with embarrassment. "Well…I have a great inspiration."

Smiling softly, Arnold looked into her eyes, his puffy red eyes looking past all the hurt and fear she held and seeing something deep inside her. Her heart raced at the feeling of this new found sensation: how did he do that? "You're a lucky girl Helga to have a boy treat you so well."

Conflicted, Helga wanted to say there wasn't anyone, but then he would ask more…

"What makes you think I'm taken Arnold?"

"I think we've had this conversation before Helga," he smirked.

"Yeah, but I never did give you a proper answer did I football head?"

Arnold appeared to be searching his brain for any memory that would contain this truth. Eventually he smiled. "I guess you didn't."

Helga couldn't believe how girlish he made her feel just by sitting next to her, his eyes looking her face over and over, his smell drifting sweetly into her nostril and his body only inches away from her touch. All she had to do was reach out…

"So?"

Helga shook her head. "What?"

"So are you going to tell me if you are seeing someone or not?" he asked.

She looked over his face carefully, trying to find any sign that he might like her…but since he was asking this, did it mean he was interested? Why else would he? Helga felt like jumping up and down; how long had she waited for this? Her inner self was dancing for joy, reciting the poetry she knew of his love by heart, composing and singing songs and wishing nothing more than to jump into his lap and kiss those sweet cherry lips till they had to break for air…

Helga breathed deeply, pinching herself to try and calm herself down. _One step at a time old girl, _Helga repeated over and over to herself. She couldn't get her hopes up; maybe he was only interested for the sake of being interested about how she might be. It was in his nature after all. Her high was fading away as she decided to be truthful. "There isn't anyone."

For a moment Helga thought she saw delight in his eyes, but it disappeared as soon as she tried to look for it. They didn't speak for a few minutes as the announcer told them of the final destination in their journey. It was now well and truly dark outside, night's clouds covering the half filled moon's light. Once the silence of the carriage returned, Helga waited for Arnold to speak.

"Well…I don't really know what to say Helga," he said as he rubbed his neck nervously.

"It's no big deal Arnold."

The dinging sound of the train echoed in her mind as it came to rest at its final stop. As she made to leave though, Arnold's hand grabbed her arm, halting her progress home. "Do you want to go and get some ice-cream?"

"I can't tonight Arnold; I have a lot of notes to look over for tomorrow," she lied. His face seemed to sadden at her words, only to be replaced with a fake smile.

"Well what about tomorrow on the train? I have something important I want to tell you, but I need time to ask this."

"I thought you had told me already, you know that stuff about your friend?"

Arnold shook his head and stood up, releasing her arm. "It is more important than that. It is odd, but somehow I feel like I know you better than I ever thought I did."

Blushing, Helga exited the train with Arnold, staying on the platform as they talked for a little longer. "Anyway Helga, I'll see you tomorrow morning. But before you go," he said as she made to turn, "I have something for you."

Moving in closer to her cheek, Arnold very softly kissed it, the sensation flooding her system like blood on fire. Every part of her felt like it was connected to her cheek, feeling the wonderful blissful joy that made even her womanhood tremble. _Pretty sure I used that in a poem once…_

He moved back from her, her face blushing lightly. "What was that for football head?" she stammered out softly.

"For being a caring friend to me when I needed it most," Arnold grinned, earning a smile from Helga.

"Whatever Arnold," she grinned, walking to the end of the platform and waving goodbye as they went their separate ways home.

As she walked along, she could feel the spot he kissed her linger on in her mind, her body replicating the sensation repeatedly to her heart's content. How she loved his touch; absent minded she touched the spot again and again, trying to prove to herself that it had happened and not been an elaboration of her mind. The very thought that he had kissed her acted like a drug as she came upon the door to home. Tomorrow, she decided, could not come soon enough.

The stench of alcohol and burnt food drifted though the door as she opened it, her stomach sick as she realised she hadn't eaten since lunch. Tip toeing to the kitchen, Helga began to fix herself something from the fridge before trying to head upstairs. As she grabbed the plate though, Bob slumped into the kitchen, his eyes reddening and stench of whisky nearly overwhelming her sense of smell.

"Where have you been?" he grumbled.

"Studying; what have you been doing?" she asked coldly.

"You don't have to be smart with me young lady," Bob threatened, causing Helga to wince slightly.

"I wasn't," she murmured, wishing to leave here more than anything else in the world. The bruises on her back hadn't healed enough to deal with another drunken Bob episode. Maybe it was him sensing her reservedness to attack that made him stand up and walk past her. "You were nothing but an accident," he spat as he stumbled towards the couch before passing out once more.

Her heart began to sink; taking a hold of the plate, Helga staggered up the stairs, her mind on auto-pilot as her heart tore. Her bedroom door was pushed aside easily, the plate rested on her desk as she closed the door. Of all the things he could have said to her…Helga slumped to the floor and curled into a ball. Hot tears dripped onto her jeans, the words harder to accept than the bruises she felt on her back. She couldn't take much more of this…

"Helga?"

Looking up at the mention of her name, Helga's eyes came upon the body of her former classmate and best friend Phoebe, whose appearance only made her feel more guilty for all she had done. "Why now Phoebe?" she cried, returning to the comfort of her ball.

"I thought you could use a helping and guiding voice at this precise moment; how are your bruises?" she asked as she walked over to Helga and sat down.

"They're the same as ever; sore, painful and filled with hatred for Bob," she spat.

Phoebe shook her head as Helga cried harder into her chest, unable to hold herself together any longer. Whichever way she looked at it, there was no way out at the moment for her. She had nowhere else to go; there was no other option until she finished her studying. And why couldn't she stand up to him? She had perfected the tough girl persona years ago; his words shouldn't have been able to hurt her like they did.

"He is your father; that is why they hurt all the more Helga," Phoebe gently spoke, reading her mind before Helga could even ask.

"Phoebe, what are you?" Helga asked desperately, the presence of her friend worrying her greatly.

"If I had to decipher my current existence, I would say I'm a part of your subconscious, a guilt ridden reminder of past mistakes or remembrance of a better time in your life. Think of me as an imaginary friend, without the imagination," Phoebe smiled, causing Helga to sigh.

"That would explain why you look like you're dressed for primary school. Although I must say next time try and make sure the sweater is longer; I can nearly see all of your legs in that thing. But why are you here? Am I going crazy?"

Phoebe thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "You're under a great deal of stress and pain; therefore it would make sense that your mind would try and create an alternate version of events or would create someone from your past who you found to be a confidant to help you deal with these moments."

Nodding slowly, Helga still wished she could flee from this hole that had become her life. But the appearance of Phoebe was making it easier for her soul to rest peacefully amongst the chaos of life. She felt bad though that she couldn't remember why Phoebe had died…

"Phoebe?"

Having moved towards her bed and lain down, Phoebe looked over at Helga, puzzled and intrigued. "Yes Helga?"

"Today I tried to write down how you…how do I say this…"

"Passed on?"

"Guess that would do," she shrugged, wiping away the tears, "But how come I couldn't do it? Even as I wrote it down, it didn't seem right. Is there something going on here that I'm not aware of? Have I missed something?"

"Highly unlikely; it is far more likely that you need to relax for the memory to resurface. Perhaps talking about it with someone would help release it."

Helga's mind was beginning to spin from the day; nearing midnight, she had nearly forgotten about her food and dizzily made her way to the desk, grabbing the food and eating it quickly. Her room was moving dangerously fast, her body unable to control the feeling of being unstable and collapsing onto the bed.

"Phoebe…does it hurt?" Helga asked as the room began to slow down.

"It is gone before you know it."

Nodding, her eyes felt heavy, the pillow soft and inviting as her eyes closed. "Do you miss him Phebs?"

Phoebe though never responded as Helga's mind drifted into the abyss of dreams.

D & F

"_Phoebe? What are you doing?" she yelled out, unable to believe the sight she saw before her._

"_I can't Helga, not anymore. I need to free myself," she smiled, taking another step closer to the edge._

_Panic rose in Helga; she wasn't going to lose another person in her life. "Phoebe please come here," she pleaded, moving closer to her friend._

"_Stay back Helga," Phoebe warned as she moved closer to the edge of the building._

_Her mind was frantically trying to figure out a way of getting her away from the ledge and into the safety of her arms. She could not bear to lose her best friend; how had this happened?_

"_Can we just talk Phoebe?"_

_Shaking her head, Phoebe moved ever closer to the edge, now only inches away from the beyond that would engulf her body in a matter of minutes. "Why are you doing this? Please don't do this Phoebe…I can't lose you," Helga cried as she collapsed to her knees._

"_I'm sorry," Helga heard before Phoebe leant backwards._

_Helga screamed, her voice echoing like a siren in the night. Every inch of her heart cried out for Phoebe, every part of her breaking down as her eyes searched the edge of the balcony to find nothing but the wind pounding against her body…_

"Phoebe!" Helga cried out.

Looking around the room quickly, Helga felt her body panting heavily, the weight of the dream still feeling real to her. Sweat on her brow was brushed away as she collapsed back onto the bed, unable to focus her eyes correctly onto her surroundings. For a while she couldn't make sense of her dream…but the dull pain crept in, consuming her heart once more. Getting up, Helga looked at her clock and froze; she had over slept. Her mind though quickly relaxed, with her deciding to take the day off instead. She would be no use in class anyway.

Relaxing, she headed downstairs knowing that Bob would have already left for work. Even though the house smelt of mixtures of spirits and alcohol, Helga made herself some breakfast and sat down to watch the soap operas of the day. She always took great delight in laughing at the pathetic attempts to capture romantic love through back stabbing and betrayals.

Expecting to see the newest episode of her show as it was nearing mid day, Helga watched on in curiosity as the news came on. A female, mid thirties by her guess with dark brown hair and cold brown eyes appeared on screen, finishing a story before moving on.

"_And now to our most breaking news; a terrible train accident has sh__aken__ the local town of Hillwood_ _this morning, with five dead and twenty reported to be in serious conditions as local authorities sort through the wreckage. It is reported a minor electrical fault is responsible, causing the system network to overload and allow two trains to merge onto the same track. Our reporter has more,_" she spoke as the footage cut to the wreckage of the train, with police men and fire fighters moving across it quickly, trying their best to free people.

Helga felt her hands grow numb; Arnold had wanted to meet her this morning on the train…but it couldn't be the same one…could it?

"_From the survivors of this horrific crash, it has become clear that a young man completed several heroic deeds in preventing some of the passengers in experiencing horrific injuries. Known only as Arnold, this young man is currently still being searched for, in a possibly life threatening situation, with little hope for survival; as you can see over my shoulder the firemen are attempting to break him free from the metal prison holding him down…"_

The remote fell from her hand, landing with a dull thud as Helga stared blindly on, tears streaming down her face as her heart rebelled inside her, screaming out what she knew was the truth. Arnold was dead…and it was all her fault.


	5. Chapter Five: An Old Adversary

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Sorry for the delay; will try to keep posting regularly again.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Five: An Old Adversary

_Chaos erupted before her, yet her body remained still, calm and unmoving throughout the hurriedness of the world around her. Nothing so far had made much sense; every now and then someone would wonder over and ask her if she was ok, if the accident hadn't hurt her in some way. And time and time again, Helga wanted to say yes, to respond in some manner that would not only calm her troubled heart, but relieve her of the tension, fear and guilt she stored within herself._

_How had it come to this? Another streak of hot tears rushed down her face, her body unable to hold in the pain and remain strong. She had never been good at this sort of stuff. But as time had come and gone, so too had the hope many held out for her friend. It was all her fault; if only she had been more careful, paid attention when it mattered and shown more care towards her friend, maybe it would not have come to this._

_Worst of all was her attempt to try and explain what had happened to them. She couldn't bear to try and comprehend how she might start to explain her actions, how she could have prevented this ever form occurring…but nothing came to mind. For all her attempts to write horrible wrongs, she was here, trapped by the decisions that have now not only confined her but denied her the chance to live out a life beyond the shackles of pain and despair._

_The ward was lined with people moving in and out, a constant blur her eyes could not shake despite her plea otherwise. A man in bandages moved through the room without assistance, the carer watching him closely for any sign of struggle in his movements. Helga could not help but watch the man push on in his quest to be free of the caring environment of the hospital. Somehow, watching the remainder of the people in the room made her envious; he could leave, move on with his life and choose to forget all who had helped him in his time of need; but she was trapped, withheld by the lack of direction and hope her life so sorely needed._

_As the light flashed red once more, Helga finally stood and walked towards the room she had avoided for so long now. Each footstep was one she could never take back, a death she wished for more than anything. How could she face them? How could she begin to explain that this whole accident, this whole problem and ordeal they now faced was entirely on her shoulders? But she knew that they needed to know; she had to try and free herself of the guilt she had forever concealed in her heart. Room 22 stood silently, the contents of the room __hidden from view by the blind. _I have to do this; they have to know those last words_, she thought as she steeled herself for the encounter on the other side._

_Opening the door, she felt her world begin to break apart once more, a middle aged man comforting his sobbing wife as Helga looked upon the person lying still on the bed, the breathing long since disbanded and lifeless form awaiting the inevitable. Helga's legs collapsed, her heart unable to bear the sight before her as she bowed her head and cried out, the grief swelling in her again._

"_Phoebe!" she cried out in pain, as the two parents watched on helplessly…_

A constant beeping sound gently awoke her from her slumber, its soothing rhythm easing her from the sleepless night she had spent beside his bed, watching and waiting for any sign that the young man before her would awaken. There wasn't a high hope that he would wake up, but she clung to it…it was all she had to hope for. Somewhere amongst all the pain and torture she placed herself through, she wanted so badly for him to wake up.

She had already decided that she would tell him; time was getting away from her and she needed to tell him now before anything else changed. Her eyes wondered over to Arnold's Grandpa, his snoring causing her to giggle momentarily as his sleeping form reminded her of some of her rather restful nights spent in bliss before waking up to find herself tangled in a mess within the sheets. He had allowed her to stay without a hesitation, his manner confusing her as he had chuckled to himself.

But Arnold's injuries worried her most of all. His left arm had been broken, a few of his ribs cracked and a head concussion that had left him in a coma. When he would wake up was anybody's guess. She could feel his chest rise and fall gently, the obvious pain and discomfort to his body from the injuries making Helga wish all the more she could help him get past it all. For Helga this was all she could do; she would have to wait patiently for him to awake, for his time to come when she could finally tell him how she truly felt.

D & F

"I'm not so sure that's such a great idea Pookie," Grandpa mumbled as Gertie began to hang up pictures from Arnold's childhood around the room, the blown up images surely to be embarrassing for Arnold if he ever woke up.

Helga's face turned red at seeing some of his pictures; a few of them included his shirt being removed, much to Helga's delight but also to her embarrassment as Gertie caught her looking at them every now and then, smiling when her face once more turned red. But for now she had to be content with sitting beside her beloved, her heart yearning with every ounce of it to be able to heal Arnold of his injuries.

A few people had been in and out to monitor his condition, but no one had turned up mentioning to be in a relationship with him. It was odd. Phil and Gertie whispered quietly to Helga they were just going to get something to eat, Helga nodding politely as they left her alone with Arnold. She was sure she had gotten the impression of Arnold being in a relationship with someone, but as of yet no one had turned up to claim their undying love to Arnold. And she rather liked that. But a gentle knock on the door shattered any hopes of being alone with the boy.

Her hair tied back in a single long pony tail; her eyes glared daggers at Helga as she entered the room. No longer looking like the sweet beloved girl of P.S.118, Lila now resembled a dominating cold hearted wench. Well, that's how Helga saw her. But the dress she wore did little to hide her true nature from Helga; white with black streaks down the side, Lila looked like the typical hot girlfriend. Something Helga found more than difficult to swallow.

"What are you doing Helga? I'm ever so sure you don't date Arnold," she smiled, the anger in Helga's veins burning as she tried not to rise to her taunt.

"I'm here trying to help Arnold recover from his injuries; what are you doing here little miss perfect? Come to gloat about your good health?"

"How could you say this when our dear friend is ill? But, how could you help him recover from his injuries? That must surely be the task of his girlfriend."

_Girlfriend?_ Helga did not like where this was going. She turned her attention back to the sleeping form of Arnold and wished so dearly for him to wake up. "Just leave us alone Lila," Helga mumbled, the fight in her turning to worry only for Arnold.

Lila laughed. "Oh Helga, you are just ever so dull and strange. What makes you think Arnold is going to wake up and confess his feelings for you? Especially when they already belong to someone else?"

Helga's fists tightened; if there was no one else in the hospital right now, she was sure she could perform any kind of operation on Lila and extract the most painful delight on her. "What makes you think he will give them to someone else?"

"Because he loves me."

Looking up, Helga's heart shattered. She could feel the small parts falling down inside her, the pieces melting as they moved, her eyes crying before she could even register what was going on. Her legs were moving of their own accord; fist balled, she could see the smirk on Lila's face turned to fear as her fist moved in slow motion towards Lila's face, connecting powerfully and sending a shock through her own body as she felt bone break. And suddenly time caught up with her.

Lila remained on the floor, her whimpers of pain awaking her from the dream she had been living. What had she done? She turned back to look at him; his eyes were still closed, his chest rising and falling peacefully as she felt the tears build within her once more. He didn't need her; she had to go. And thundering through the hospital, Helga ran, trying to forget her love and remove the pain she felt every time she thought of him.

D & F

Her bags were packed and she sat waiting, knowing full well that her time was coming. The bus stop wasn't her most favoured place, but she had to wait. Beside her, Phoebe gently played with her jumper, every once in a while trying to start a conversation as Helga sat numbly to the world around her. Cars sped past her as her mind drifted to the bar across the street. She could have done with a drink now; maybe this was why her mother drank all the time…

"You won't find it at the bottom of a bottle Helga," Phoebe whispered, earning an angry glare from Helga.

"Why don't you just buzz off and leave me alone? I was fine before you had to come and ruin everything."

"Of course; placing the blame unto your best friend will make it so much better."

Helga snorted. "You died, don't you remember?"

Phoebe paled and slumped down in her chair. Helga peered at her and sighed sadly. "I do."

Neither spoke as the bus arrived at the stop, the whining of the engine hurting her ears as she stepped onto the steps of the bus. Phoebe followed in tow as Helga paid the toll and moved to the back of the bus, relieved to find it was nearly deserted save for a few old people at the front. Holding her bag tightly, Helga moved towards the back of the bus and slumped down into the seat, her heart pounding as the bus began to take off from the stop.

"I never wanted this Phoebe," she cried softly to herself, unable to comprehend where she was meant to be going. She had dashed home and packed her things without a word to Bob, leaving her home behind to try and find somewhere she could belong.

"I know you never did Helga…but why run away now?"

Helga did not respond. Her bag was packed with her medication on top…dark thoughts began to play like fire in her mind. "Helga!"

Eyes darting to the girl beside her, Helga shook her head and tried to ignore it. "Don't even begin to think of that Helga; I'll kick your but from here to eternity if you do," Phoebe grinned, earning a soft smile from Helga.

"Thanks Phebs; but you have it so easy now," she mumbled as the bus roared to life.

Houses and faceless figures passed her by as she sat still, watching the ever greying skyline change to black and begin to rip apart to allow the rain to flow down from the heavens. Although she could return, Helga had no desire to do so. She had waited too long to leave and now as Arnold lay resting alone in the hospital with…her…Helga could feel the need to vanish from the view of the world.

Another short stop and Helga eyed a bar across the road. She wasn't really able to drink yet, nor had she developed a desire to try it. But after everything had happened…

"You will not find it at the bottom Helga," Phoebe smiled, earning a playful punch from Helga.

"I know Phebs; but can you leave me alone for a while? I think I need to sleep."

"On the bus? Helga that's not a good idea…statistically-"

"Never mind the stats; the only thing worth mentioning to me is how often I get to rest these days. Criminey; after watching the football head rest, maybe he has the better idea. You don't have to worry when you sleep."

Brushing aside Phoebe's continued pleas for her to not do this, Helga grabbed some of the medication from the top of her bag and popped out one of the pills. Designed to help in sleeping patterns, Helga grabbed a hold of the small pill and slipped it into her mouth, swallowing quickly before resting against the window. After a while of staring blankly out the window, Helga felt her drowsiness begin to grow and desire to close her eyes reach critical…time began to slow down as the bus came to another stop…a man got on…a younger woman followed behind him…the change clanged loudly, but her ears were already shutting down…

"OUCH!" a man screamed out.

Her heart beat was slow, her mind fuzzy as she opened her eyes gingerly. No longer lying against the window, Helga was now lying down in the aisle between the back seat and the seat in front of her. How she had gotten there was beyond her for now; meanwhile she could hear the sickening crack of cartilage and woke up. Alert, she stood up to see a young woman with black hair spin around in one fell swoop and land her left foot perfectly into the side of the man's face. Another crack, this time one that was quieter than the last greeted Helga's straining ears, earning a wince from Helga as the man dropped to the ground, whimpering softly from the blows.

As the woman adjusted her clothing, Helga couldn't help but wonder how her jacket had been taken off. It was still cold even on the bus, and she wouldn't have needed to remove it even if she had been sleeping. But the murderous intent in the young woman's eyes as she spun around did not go unnoticed by Helga; sporting a crimson red coat tightened around her waist, the young woman looked about her age. Noticing that she was standing, her face turned to worry as she hurried up to Helga and checked her face over carefully.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked, with a voice Helga was sure she had heard a thousand times before.

Nodding, Helga tried to place her face but couldn't. But the groaning grew as the man stood up again, cracking his jaw back into place sickeningly. Paling, Helga tried to hold her stomach contents in. Turning to expect the young woman to be worried too, Helga was shocked to see a smirk growing ever so slightly.

"Obviously I didn't put you down hard enough then. Figures," she shrugged, flipping her hair sideways as the man lunged for her.

Watching in slow motion, Helga saw to her horror the man begin to swing for the young woman with his right hand; instead of worrying, she calmly dodged it, instead swinging from down low and with her might striking him just under the rib cage. A soft crack greeted their ears and before he could react to clutch his stomach, another blow from the woman struck him cleanly in the jaw again, the impact on his chin sending his body into freefall backwards. As time caught up to her, Helga watched the body soar back down the aisle and land in a heap, his moan soft and forced as blood trickled from his mouth.

Looking down, Helga caught a glance at the shoes and nearly fainted. Designer labels; only one person in the whole town would have worn these particular shoes, no doubt imported from France or somewhere in Europe.

"Never ever miss with a Wellington Lloyd!" she proclaimed happily. Helga's mind clicked and felt her body slump. That confirmed it.

Turning back around, Rhonda helped Helga back to the seat and gathered her things together. "Come on; you can stay with me till you have recovered."

The bus came to a halt outside an apartment complex, but one of immense quality and taste. How long had she been asleep? Helga couldn't tell. But with Rhonda leading her quickly off the bus and onto the path, she was left alone for a moment as Rhonda quickly explained the problem to the bus driver. Rain dripped onto her, each drop sending a chill through her pine as Rhonda rejoined her, leading her through the doors and into the foyer. Greeted by what she assumed was a butler, Helga and Rhonda were lead to an elevator at the end, the room light brightly and decorated with red and gold.

Her bag was carried by Rhonda and they collapsed into the elevator. Helga could feel the drug still taking hold of her mind; she mustn't have slept off all of the effects yet. Pressing buttons, Helga slumped herself into the corner as she watched Rhonda press the numbers, the metal door closing itself tightly as Helga felt the elevator begin to move upwards. For a while she sat and watched as Rhonda looked her over carefully. By the judgement she was carrying out though, Helga was positive she didn't recognise her.

"Why did you help me?" Helga mumbled through her sleepiness; it wouldn't be long till she would drift off once again.

Rhonda smiled as she completed the last of her checks. "You reminded me of someone I knew from school; she looked a lot like you, except she had a mono-brow."

Helga wanted to rage against Rhonda as she laughed, but the drug was already taking its toll; her eyes were heavy and her breathing struggling to keep her awake once again. "If I could swing it, I'd give you a taste of the five avengers," Helga groaned as she began to sway and close her eyes.

Rhonda paled as Helga felt her eyes shut themselves tightly and lose herself in the bliss of sleep.

"Helga?" Rhonda asked, shocked as the elevator stopped and doors opened to the darkened hallway.

D & F

**Note: The plan is to get this back on track; sorry for the long delay but work got in the way so hopefully this is now back on track. R & R if you can. Thank you!**


	6. Chapter Six: Rhonda WellingtonLloyd

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Sorry for the delay; will try to keep posting regularly again.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Six: Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd

The softness of the pillow greeted her like an old friend, the comfort short lived though as she wondered why her bed was so soft. It was too soft for her liking, but with the darkness still evidently around her, Helga tried to go back to sleep, only to question the blanket on her. It was plush, soft and seemed to wrap around her all too easily. Panic set in; this wasn't her bed. Clutching the blanket tightly, she bolted upright, her eyes scanning the room to find Rhonda sitting still, watching her closely from atop of the work in her lap, the eyes behind her glasses carefully analysing Helga's movements. Helga could feel her heart thumping so loudly it had become a drum beat in her mind.

"Sleep alright Helga?" Rhonda asked casually, resuming her reading without a second glance.

"Like I could princess," she snarled. Rhonda sighed as she stopped her reading once more and placed the folder on the coffee table beside her. Years ago Helga would have offered to demonstrate the awesome power of old Betsy, but upon catching a weary glare from Rhonda she decided against it.

"So what brings you out my way Helga?"

Helga could feel the effects of the pills linger, her mind protesting against staying awake. "Parental problems," she muttered, hoping to roll over and sleep again.

When Rhonda didn't press it, Helga began to drift back comfortably into a light sleep, only to be interrupted by the sound of a chuckle. Rhonda did seem to be enjoying herself. "Parental problems? Helga G. Pataki, you would not be travelling the bus late at night if you had parental problems. Knowing you back in primary school, I'm quite sure that punching someone in the mouth would not be a difficult task."

"Oh yeah princess? Tell me," Helga growled as turned to face her, "Since when did the cream of the world ever catch the bus? Pretty sure last time I checked only those below your status had to put up with drunken fools on a bus."

"Nice to see your memory isn't damaged," Rhonda smirked. "For your information I was heading home after work."

Early morning cold drifted in through the window, causing Helga to tighten the blanket around her body as Rhonda got up and shut the window firmly. Without another word Rhonda made her way into the kitchen and began to boil the kettle. As Helga stood up, she looked around and was slightly startled by what she saw. Expecting her royal highness to have decorated the place in the finest antiques, a simple leather sofa with matching chairs opposite one another was completed with a coffee table at each end. With the curtains drawn the room reminded her of a cave, with a door open towards the bathroom in front of her and, glancing around, she could make out another three doors. The kitchen to her right though held her greatest interest.

The smell of roasting coffee beans seemed to awaken every fibre of her body; the tantalising taste was already on her lips, as if she had just drunk it whole. But not even coffee could shake her feeling of being alone, trapped, the walls closing around her until Rhonda broke her reverie, "How do you take it?"

Helga shook her head. "What?"

Rhonda peered out from the kitchen, looking as immaculate as usual. "I asked how do you like your coffee?"

"Umm…however you have yours," Helga mumbled back as Rhonda nodded. The room was warm, something Helga was instantly grateful for; she must have changed before going to sleep, because normally sleeping in a shirt and under garments was not a personal preference when sleeping. Regardless she held the blanket tightly as Rhonda walked back in with a cup in each hand, handing one to her as she resumed her position opposite the weary blonde haired girl.

An uneasy silence drifted over them as they sipped away, trying to ignore the lingering questions left answered between them. Perhaps with time she would have a chance to understand the complexities of conversation, but for the moment Helga wished nothing more than to curl up and drift away to the land of dreams. Taking a sip, Helga immediately felt relief; pleasure and her weariness leave her as she felt it trickle down her throat more rapidly. In no time she was finished and licking her lips gleefully, like a child who had received a free ice-cream from the Jolly-Olly man…something that of course would never happen.

"I guess the first question I have," Rhonda asked after a long time, her gaze still fixed on the sofa beside Helga, "Is why you were out here so late Helga."

A large hand, cold and metallic grabbed her heart, allowing her fear to fester and grow; should she tell her why she was out so late? Or should she just lie to her? They had never really been best friends, or close friends, so why did it matter to Rhonda?

"I was out for a late night trip…I was planning a getaway for the weekend and must have fallen asleep," Helga replied, praying that Rhonda would accept it. She seemed to be looking at her oddly, her brow furrowed in concentration. After a while she stopped, and sipped her coffee once more. Helga breathed deeply and smiled; _thank goodness._

"Okay; where are my manners though, how have you been Helga? It's been…a while since graduation," Rhonda beamed, disarming Helga completely. Did she just ask her something about herself, like she cared?

"I've been busy studying is all you need to know; what about you Rhonda? Last I heard you were living in Paris and studying…politics?"

"Psychiatry."

"Close enough," Helga shrugged.

"Hardly. But you're right I was in Paris…the tower is all that it's cracked up to be. But I would recommend learning the language first; goodness knows how many times I nearly ordered the snails instead of the baguette."

"How could you stuff that one up princess?" Helga smirked, catching a quick wince from Rhonda.

"Only one such as I could have tried that after working on three assignments and completing them in a single night. Although going to the local restaurant probably wasn't a good move with little sleep," Rhonda laughed. Helga frowned; what had they done with the old Rhonda?

"So princess; with this apartment, what gives? I thought that with someone of your taste and style you would be at least living it up, what with all your parents' money at your disposal and all."

Rhonda shook her head and took another sip. "Daddy decided I should find my own way."

"What do you mean?"

Rhonda placed the mug down, the echoing noise vibrating inside Helga's ears. _Drugs mustn't have worn off yet completely…_

"On my eighteenth birthday my father gave me a choice; I could go to any college or university in America, England, Australia or France. They would pay for it and would cover all expenses, providing I scored highly in all my exams. The only problem was that they would be living with me the whole time. And after going through High School with their weight of overbearing pressure on me constantly…they gave me an alternate. I could choose one place to study and instead of giving me my inheritance and being around, they would give me enough to get started and pay for the degree, but I had to make it on my own."

"Daddy mentioned that it would be the perfect way for a Wellington-Lloyd to learn about the 'common folk' as he called them and see how they lived their lives. I decided I didn't want them watching my every move anymore and took up the offer to study in Paris. And now here I am," she smiled, grabbing a hold of her coffee once more.

"So how come it's done up so nicely?"

"Helga I am a psychiatrist. That and I am particularly good at my job…in fact extremely good," Rhonda grinned as she flipped her hair to the side.

"There's the princess we all know," Helga smirked, earning a quick look from Rhonda.

Rubbing the back of her neck Helga felt concrete greet her back. It had been a long time since she had taken care of her body properly and she was paying for it dearly now. She could feel the aches and pains all over her body and as her vision began to fade, she could hear Rhonda talk and nod before leaving the room. She said something about needing to get some sleep…

A soft hand cupped her cheek as Rhonda eased Helga back onto the couch; she was worn out, even after drinking the coffee. With the look of a woman who had seen too much, Rhonda eased her back onto the couch and tucked her in, her eyes glancing every so often to the pill bottle that lay on top of her bag. _Helga, what have you done?_

D & F

_Another uneasy night spent wishing it wasn't true; but the whole event was fading away sooner than he had hoped for. He was hovering again; he was watching over a train, golden rays of the early morning sun lighting its path as he tried to breathe in deeply. No tingling sensations rushed down his spine…odd. Perhaps following the train might help uncover the secret…_

_A scarlet rose hid her from view as she watched him sail overhead so elegantly and peacefully. How she longed to jump out and reveal herself to him…but who would accept one as dark as her. Clad in black that extended from her fingertips to the ground beneath her, Helga wished she could remove it all and take in the sunlight just like him…_

_He watched the train gain speed and he smiled; the sensation was coming back to him. Dressed in a suit ready to impress, he tried to grab a hold of the world beneath him but felt nothing, his hands experiencing the same disappointment his body had felt earlier. But as he descended towards the train he felt himself begin to merge into it…_

_Helga glided above watching him descended into the train. She knew she had seen this before…alarms began to ring in her head as the world began to grow dim; storm clouds raced in from around her, the crack of thunder echoing from her fingertips as the train began to speed up…in the distance another raced towards them, it's hell bent fury unable to be contained by the silver coated bullet._

_Helga wanted to scream, but the lightening beat her to it; with an almighty crack her world shattered as she watched the two crash into one, melding together as she watched the steel buckle outwards. Screams, terrible cries of fear and panic set in as the world ripped itself apart; dark shadows slid past her, her finger unable to hold onto their cloaks of death. Death spread throughout the trains; but Helga clutched her chest as her form came to a halt over one particular young man…his golden hair shone brightly, his eyes wavering as they locked on hers. For a brief moment she could feel the world turn, the sea rage and the sun burn brighter than ever…_

"_You did this," he whispered to the night air._

"_Arnold!" she cried out, the world unable to contain her scream as the shaking began…_

_A never ending terror…_

"Arnold!" Helga shouted out, her breathing ragged and eyes watering. Everything felt so real; checking her body no trace of the dark cloak remained, no trace of the rose…but no trace of Arnold. Her heart was thumping in her ears as she lay back down, unable to comprehend everything she had just witnessed.

"Arnold…" she whispered ever so gently to the still air of the morning. No one had come running out to help her, but she wasn't expecting anyone to. It wasn't till she looked around the room did it sink in; she was still in Rhonda's apartment. Dream or not, she was already comforted knowing that she wouldn't have to leave just yet.

_It was only a dream old girl_, she thought to herself as she began to wonder about the time.

"10:33 a.m. my dear Helga," a soft sweet voice echoed back to her thinking. Without needing to look at her Helga could already picture Phoebe walking towards her.

"Where's Rhonda?" she mumbled lazily.

"Early appointment for work; she did however leave a note to say you are welcome to stay and she will be back by midday," Phoebe smiled brightly.

Helga chuckled to herself. "She really has changed huh…who would have thought princess could turn herself around."

"I had every confidence in her."

"I didn't ask Phebs-"

"But you're already planning to leave, aren't you Helga?" Phoebe peered at her, eyeing her carefully. Helga wanted to run, but knew it would get her nowhere; even if she wanted to leave, where would she go?

_Nowhere to go…guess it couldn't hurt._ Removing the blanket, Helga wondered over to her bag and grabbed the clothes on top and scuffled to the bathroom, her movements made all the more awkward as Phoebe wolf-whistled after her. Helga blushed and hurried into the privacy of the room; she really shouldn't wear barely anything to bed. Locking the door behind her, Helga dashed into the shower and turned the water on, feeling all the pressure and stress melt away from her body as the water trickled down her…

D & F

Gentle warming rays peeked through the curtains, cleverly pushing its reach to the feet of Helga and Rhonda who remained in deep conversation about one of Rhonda's most recent patients.

"And so he wrote down the number and easy as that I managed to get another contact on the council without trying," Rhonda laughed as she puffed out her chest. Helga laughed as she re-enacted the scene with a half eaten bagel in her mouth. Afternoon had come around and as she sat on the couch, Helga couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty about Rhonda's offer.

"Rhonda are you sure I can stay? I mean giving me the spare room and everything-"

Holding up her hand, Rhonda shook her head. "Helga I've changed; I would like you to stay for the meantime. And it would be nice to have some company around for a change instead of the constant dreariness that greets me when I walk through that door."

Helga nodded and ignored the smile Phoebe gave her; how she wished the girl would leave her be. Rhonda collapsed onto the chair and sighed deeply. Helga couldn't help but wonder about last night's activities. "Why were you on the bus though Rhonda?"

A simple smirk from Rhonda eased any worries that Helga was being followed or stalked. "My job is in town and it is far cheaper and more eco-friendly if I take the bus. And it gives me time to think. So last night was a normal late night trip home after a rather long day. Although I wouldn't recommend the company at times; that guy did deserve what was coming."

Helga could only nod in agreement; her recollection was fuzzy, but she had been able to piece together what may have happened. Had she been in a better state of mind, the guy would have staggered away, crawling on his stomach without the ability to reproduce. Lucky him.

Rhonda seemed to catch her daydreaming as she made herself more comfortable on the couch. "So why were you running away Helga?" she asked softly.

"How do you know I was running away?" Helga asked, feeling like a small child.

"Your body language says so; if you were going on a holiday you would have left this morning," Rhonda shrugged.

Helga could feel her anger rise quickly. "Look princess, if you think that for one minute you can pull your shrink stuff on me, then you've got another thing coming. I'm Helga G. Pataki and don't you forget it."

Realising she was standing before Rhonda with a fist raised, she felt ashamed as she realised her situation. "Sorry."

Rhonda shook her head. "No I'm sorry Helga; it's one of my habits now. But I am concerned for you; why did you want to leave?"

Helga sat down, trying to think of a way to explain it to Rhonda without giving away her secrets. "I left because…things became complicated."

"In what way?" Rhonda asked gently.

"I kind of got into an argument and had to leave," she replied carefully.

"With your father?"

"No a girl."

"Over what?"

Helga tried to keep her emotions in control, but the desire to run away was building quickly. "A boy."

Rhonda nodded; flexing her arms, Rhonda stood up and walked to the kitchen, her desire for coffee greater than anything else. "So this girl you had a disagreement with, what was her relationship to the boy?" Rhonda asked as she grabbed the cups.

"They were dating…well apparently they were dating. I didn't find out till later."

"You mean during the argument?" Rhonda said, pouring the water into the mugs.

"Yes; but how was I meant to know that little miss per…the girl was dating him? It's not like I can read minds or anything," she said darkly, gratefully accepting the mug from Rhonda.

"So what happened?"

"I was talking to him, you know, just normally and then she comes barging in saying that I'm a thief and a no good person…so naturally I socked her in the face."

Rhonda watched unwaveringly as Helga drank the coffee and began to relax. "I assume that her words were quite personal towards you?"

"You got it sister."

"Somehow though," Rhonda began, "I don't think that's what's bugging you the most right now Helga."

Helga froze; was Rhonda about to find out about her love for Arnold? "What do you mean Rhonda?"

"I mean there is something more deeply affecting you; I can see it in your eyes. Every time I'm not talking to you, someone else is catching your attention. And no I don't think it's this boy," Rhonda waved dismissively. "I think it's someone close to you."

Helga frowned as Rhonda leant back into her chair. "What happened that night Helga?"

"Rhonda, what are you talking about?"

"I know you were there Helga."

Time seemed to freeze for Helga as her mind raced; the building, the never ending replay and silent farewell, the scream still forming in her throat, waiting to explode and erupt…

"Tell me about the night Phoebe died."

D & F

**A/N: Yes another cliff-hanger. Won't be long this time around till the next chapter. Please R & R if you can. Thank you!**


	7. Chapter Seven: Phoebe's End

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Seven: Phoebe's End

The words hit Helga like a freight train; her eyes remained locked on Rhonda's, who had remained steady and calm since uttering those words. Perhaps she had heard incorrectly; maybe for the sake of all that was good in the world, Helga had mistaken the words that had come out of her mouth. But the lingering silence only played on her nerves; whether she liked it or not, Rhonda had asked her to tell her about that night…

Helga got up and before Rhonda could speak, headed for the bathroom and closed the door, sealing herself within, away from the prying eyes that continually scanned and watched her every move. She sat down against the door and despite knocks and words form Rhonda, Helga ignored her, instead curling into a ball and trying to block it all out…words stirred in her mind as it played back…_Phoebe we can talk about it…_Helga tried to hold her head; her vision was becoming fuzzy…_We can't decide when to leave Helga_...

"STOP IT!" Helga said, flinging her arms out. As time began to catch up to her once more, Helga found herself spread out on the floor like a starfish, unable to move and having no desire to do so. A soft snicker echoed from her right; craning her neck, Helga's eyes came upon the figure of Phoebe, sitting on the edge of the bath and watching her unrelentingly. _Of all the times…_Helga thought only to be interrupted by Phoebe.

"Good morning Helga," she flashed brightly.

"Why are you here?" Helga groaned, wishing that she could ignore this.

"But Helga, haven't you wanted to talk to me?" Phoebe frowned.

"Not really…you're dead remember?"

Phoebe sighed and began to play with her jumper. "Life is only a matter of perspective Helga. I wouldn't call dying death."

Helga didn't bother replying; maybe if she ignored her, Phoebe would leave her alone…

"That won't happen Helga; I'm here because you require my assistance. I won't leave until you are helped."

"I never asked for you to be here," Helga gritted her teeth. "Not once since you died have I asked for you to follow me, to watch me, help me or even talk to me. Not a single damn time. And yet here you are, telling me I'm needing help, some figment of my imagination that conveniently forgets to tell me that, oh yes, that's right, you're dead!"

"Helga who are you talking to in there?" Rhonda's voice was muffled as Helga looked around; Phoebe was nowhere to be seen, all traces of her were gone. Helga smirked: _thought so_. As she began to head to the door, Helga felt a chill run up her spine, one so cold it made her yelp in pain. Spinning around Helga saw Phoebe glaring intensely at her. "How dare you Helga; what right have you? Instead of fighting me being here, why don't you swallow your pride and listen to me? As far as I am concerned, you need to talk with Rhonda; I can't hang around here forever watching you grow more and more miserable by the day, stewing away in your own sorrow and pity. So go out there and talk to her, or else."

"Or else what?" Helga grimaced, afraid of what Phoebe had become.

"I come after you every night, every day, and every waking second of your being. There will be nowhere to hide from me Helga G. Pataki."

As Phoebe approached Helga, the door clicked and Rhonda walked in. Seeing Helga shielding herself from thin air, Rhonda coughed loudly. Perhaps she had been trying to shield herself from Rhonda's entrance, but she was facing the wrong way entirely. Eventually Helga registered her presence and turned around, rubbing her neck profusely in embarrassment.

"What was that all about Helga?" Rhonda questioned as she led Helga back to the couches. Sitting her down, Rhonda sat facing her, keeping an eye open for any sudden movements back to the bathroom.

For a while Helga did not speak as Rhonda asked her a few more questions; the dread of having to face Phoebe again was terrifying to say the least. But the constant echo of Rhonda's voice seemed to be having an effect. Slowly but surely she felt her mind begin to awake, the numbness that had built up slowly and surely leaving, opening up a world of clarity.

"If you don't want to talk about it today Helga you don't have to," Rhonda shrugged, leaning back into the chair and taking a long sip from her coffee mug.

"Talk about what?"

"Phoebe."

Thoughts darted in and out of her mind as she tried to comprehend what to do; feeling a touch of ice on her shoulder, Helga knew Phoebe was hovering next to her, trying her best to encourage Helga to do what she had to do. It was never easy to do these things…

"I think…I would like to talk about her," Helga stammered, unsure of what she was really trying to say.

Rhonda didn't press, relaxing further into her seat. She was glad she had put dinner on earlier. Judging by the anxiety Helga was showing this would not be a simple retelling. "Take your time Helga; you don't have to rush."

Helga nodded. "No offence Rhonda, I've had long enough to think about this…why is it that I can talk to you so easily though? I've only ever been able to talk to Dr. Bliss this easily before."

"I guess you see me as a friend?" Rhonda asked, her eyebrows rising as she watched for Helga's reaction to such a statement.

"Don't get too cocky there Rhonda," Helga sniggered, earning a wry smile from Rhonda.

"Well whatever the reason, maybe you should just go with it for the moment. Have you told anyone else about that night?"

Helga did not respond. A deep frown etched itself across Ronda's face as an answer did not appear. "Not once?"

"I never could explain it; how could I? How could I watch my best friend lose her life and be able to explain it to any old Joe on the street?"

"Why don't you start from the beginning then," Rhonda smiled, trying to keep Helga talking.

Shaking, Helga took a deep breath and curled around the pillow beside her. "It all began three years ago…"

D & F

Three years ago…

The chiming of the clock annoyed her to no end; why she had ever bought the blasted thing was beyond her. It's tone of coo-coo! drove her mind mad each and every hour. She was better off without it. Wondering over to the window for a break, Helga made a mental note to throw it out next chance she got. Grey clouds had been forming all afternoon much to her disgust; it had been raining on and off for the last few days and she had hoped that today would be different.

Time had been getting away from her lately; since the formal, Helga hadn't really had a chance to stop. Trying to sort out her new direction in life was proving to be harder to accomplish than previously thought; doing it alone wasn't any easier. Bob wasn't going to help her much…he couldn't even if he had wanted to. And she couldn't blame him really.

And her friends were busy sorting out their lives too; Phoebe had been offered a scholarship to any university or college of her choice around the world. Any day now Helga was waiting for Phoebe to phone her and tell her the good news…and she could only be happy for her. A chance to get out of Hillwood didn't come around very often. At times she felt there was no way out. And perhaps there wasn't…

Phoebe's boyfriend though would have a tougher time than her in getting anywhere; he was determined to go where Phoebe needed him, but Helga was unsure as to what he would do. But that was not her place to worry about. But Arnold…she didn't have any idea either. The most contact they had together was during class, but even then it was scarce. Shaking her head, Helga put it aside and tried to think of what she would do tonight. Movies seemed like a good option; she had not been out for a while, so maybe getting Phoebe to come along wouldn't be such a bad idea. They could both do with a break.

Grabbing a hold of the phone, Helga quickly punched in the numbers and listened closely as the dial tone kicked in. Nothing happened for a while except the tone fading in and out. Finally a click on the other end broke the dull noise.

"_Hello?" _spoke a soft voice from other end, no doubt belonging to her long time friend.

"Phebs? It's Helga here. Listen I've got a plan for tonight that is going to rock; I'm thinking we hit the movies late tonight, grab some ice-cream and other assorted goodies and have a slumber party at mine or yours. Without the pork rinds. What do you say?"

"_Gee Helga I really would like to…but I've just been so busy lately and I'm felling rather tired at the moment…"_

Helga sighed; this was not going to happen tonight. "Come on Phebs, you've been stuck in that house for the last few weeks; it's time we got you out of there and had some fun."

No sounds came from the other end, meaning that she was pondering what to do very closely. _"What about if we just meet up and talk tonight? I know it's not much, but I feel like I __just need to__ talk."_

"Sure thing Phebs; do you want me to come over or do you want to come here?" Helga asked, cursing the fact she was going to miss the movie…maybe she could get a hold of some ice cream.

"_I was thinking something a little more airy. What about if we meet up at the old building next to Arnold's? You know the one that was built to compete with Arnold's boarding house but lost out?"_

Helga laughed silently; how could she forget that? Watching Arnold and the residents charge down the road towards the finish line to beat next door's residents had been one of the greatest days in Hillwood…maybe changing plans wouldn't be so bad after all. "Sure thing Phoebe; ten minutes?"

"_Yes Helga. Goodbye."_

Hearing the click on the other end, Helga shrugged her shoulders and got up from her bed. Walking towards the closet that once held her shines, Helga grabbed one of her coats and put it on, grabbing her beanie and putting it on. It was still quite tight and hurt as she tried to adjust it. _Just needs some breaking in_, Helga thought as she watched the clouds begin to grow darker outside. She thought about taking an umbrella as she made her way downstairs, but as she opened the door to leave she decided not to bother.

Within a matter of minutes she was on her way down the pathway and marching towards the old building. No one dared to go in it nowadays; Gerald's urban legends had done their job well. But it didn't stop their class from using the building from time to time when needing to escape or do work alone. And it did help that Helga had started the legend as a chance to gain control over the building. Something about being on the rooftop, watching the stars come out at night seemed to rejuvenate everyone who went there. And as she closed in on it, Helga couldn't help but think of fonder memories.

She had once camped out on the rooftop with Phoebe, with Gerald close by with Arnold. The night didn't end in a romantic confession of love and kisses, but Helga enjoyed the chance to spend time with them all and in particular Arnold. Opening the door with a copy of the key, cut and given to each of the students in her class, Helga quickly closed it behind her and made her way up the stairs. It was modelled on Arnold's boarding house, except without the room leading upstairs to Arnold's bedroom. Instead they had placed a stairway that allowed patrons to go up and view the town from the rooftop.

Climbing the stairs quickly, Helga opened the door to find Phoebe looking at the sky, its dark clouds hanging overhead menacingly, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Taking a seat next to Phoebe, Helga looked up with her and tried to figure out what she was looking at.

"Bit of a bummer night huh?" Helga asked, trying to start some conversation.

Phoebe seemed to ignore her and kept looking up, dressed in jeans and a tight fitting blue shirt with a jumper of the same deep blue over the top. Helga couldn't help but notice how well it suited her…and how little she often dressed like this. Phoebe was relaxed and it showed.

"Did you want to talk about something Phebs?" Helga asked again.

"What? Oh sorry Helga, I was just…thinking," she trailed off, resuming her look upwards.

"I can see that Phebs; but what's the go? Gerald not giving you enough love?" Helga smirked, jabbing Phoebe playfully in her ribs and earning a laugh.

"No, Gerald is doing fine in that regard," Phoebe giggled. "No it's just…I wanted some company tonight."

"What are best friends for?" Helga grinned.

They didn't speak for a while, each lost in their own thoughts on the skies above. But Helga couldn't help but pick up on something…something not right about Phoebe. She couldn't tell what it was exactly, but it just felt…off.

"Helga, do you think it will hurt when we die?"

Alarms were ringing in her mind, but Helga drowned it out; this was Phoebe she was talking about it. She was fine; she was just a little lonely tonight that was all. "I don't think so; why are you asking me this? It's not like I've gone there yet," Helga laughed.

"I know; just curious I guess," Phoebe smiled.

"You know Phebs, you have been couped up in the house for a while; what have you been doing?"

Phoebe seemed to try and find a way around answering the question but eventually answered. "I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking; have to sort through the forms to study."

"Have you made a choice yet?"

"No, not yet. I'm not sure if I want to make one either."

Helga paused; something was definitely not right. Phoebe was never indecisive. "Phebs are you okay?"

"Of course Helga," she smiled cheerfully, standing up and walking around and stretching her legs.

"Phoebe," Helga began, "I may not be Gerald, but you know you can tell me anything. What is bugging you?"

Soft drops of rain began to descend, but Helga ignored it as Phoebe stopped dead, her head bowed and shoulders slumping. "I can't do this anymore Helga," Phoebe said softly, sending shocks through Helga's body.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't take this anymore; all the pressure, all the strain, all the time spent thinking of a future I can't even be sure of. It's all too much for me Helga."

"Phoebe; why don't you take some time off and travel the world? I'm sure Gerald would love to go with you."

"I can't Helga; I don't have a choice anymore."

Phoebe began to walk away; Helga was up and out of her chair but not soon enough. Phoebe was already at the edge and had turned around to face Helga, her eyes tearful and lips quivering. Alarms were ringing loudly in her mind but she was numb as to what she should do; if she made a move Phoebe would back away from her. She had to play it smart.

"Phoebe please don't," Helga pleaded.

Tears were rolling down Phoebe's cheeks as Helga moved closer subtly. "It won't ever end Helga; it's all around me, all the time. Where can I go? What can I do? All I do is wait for the future that I don't want and can't stand to be with. This has to change."

"But what about Gerald? How can you leave him; you love him more than anything in the world," Helga said, feeling the rain beginning to pick up.

"I've left a note for Gerald; it will explain it to him," she smiled, taking another step to the ledge.

"But…but…what about me Phebs? Would you leave me here alone?" Helga begged, warm tears now falling down the side of her face.

Phoebe stood still frowning, thinking it through carefully. A smile crept across her face slowly but surely. "But you have him."

Helga was desperate; as Phoebe backed up to the ledge even further, Helga thought about crying out and pleading for help, but she couldn't. Her heart felt like it was clenched, unable to respond or react except cry. Tears grew thick and fast as Helga made a choice; running towards Phoebe, Helga was so close when she saw it: a small smile on Phoebe's face and a single tear hit the ground as Helga's hand reached out, trying in vain to grab a hold of Phoebe's clothing.

"Goodbye Helga."

Then it clicked; Phoebe never said goodbye on the phone. Helga's hand reached nothing as she watched her friend fall backwards, the motion slow and painful as Helga only just managed to stop herself from running off the edge. A scream of her friends name echoed from her throat but she couldn't hear it. All that stood in that place and moment was her friend's eyes looking lovingly at her, like she was finally saying goodbye to her sister.

Echoing around the neighbourhood was the cry of Phoebe, one that seemed to rip the heart out of Helga and crush it over and over again. Soon the ambulance arrived; people crowded and tried to figure out what was wrong, but Helga remained looking down, waiting for someone to collect her and take her home, tuck her into bed and tell her it was just a nightmare, a bad dream she would wake from.

"Phoebe," Helga cried as tears streamed down her face, the rain above drenching her as her world faded to black…

D & F

_Sweet thoughts flittered through his head; his parents smiled at him, Gerald was grinning madly and his grandparents were smiling warmly as they embraced their grandson. But despite this, there was something missing in his life, someone who was more important than all of these people. As he looked around trying to find it, the world began to blur, instead changing from soft clouds and lush green grass to red, purple and black walls, smeared and mixed together, dripping slowly down the walls. Arnold looked around but could see no one; madly he spun around but still there was nothing to be found._

_Afraid he collapsed onto the ground; slowly the ground around him began to move over him, consuming each part of him till there was nothing left. He hated it, but he began to welcome the darkness as it crept over him. Soon it would all be over…_

"_Get up football head!"_

_That voice; looking up, Arnold saw a girl, the same age as him, walking towards him with long blonde hair and smirking all the while. "Come on football head, I thought you were stronger than this. Get up!"_

_Like a drug her words made him stand; the colours in the room began to retract and be replaced with gold and white, showering him as Helga moved closer._

"_Arnold, there is something I need to tell you," she said, acting nervously as he moved closer._

"_What is it Helga?" he asked, his heart racing at the sight of her._

_Moving till there was no space between them, Helga leant over to his ear. "I need you to wake up," she whispered softly._

"_Wake up?"_

"_Yes Arnold; you have to wake up please…I lo-"_

_Suddenly the room began to spin dangerously, moving so fast that Arnold was sucked away from Helga and into a bright white light…_

A shock filled his body as his eyes shot open. Gone was the gold and white room to be replaced with a bed beneath him that was not his own and his grandpa sitting in the corner. He tried to move but the effort was killing him. What had happened to him? His looks around revealed that his body appeared lucky to be in one piece. Although he was now wishing to be sleeping, Arnold couldn't help but notice the presence of a girl he wished never to see again.

Stirring from her sleep, Arnold tried to pretend he was asleep, but it did not work as Lila smiled and began to laugh. "He's awake! Arnold's awake!"

He could hear his grandpa jump up from the seat excitedly, laughing and carrying on in joy. Opening his eyes for the second time, Arnold was greeted by the warm loving hug of his grandpa. Arnold could not help but smile; his grandma walked in grinning from ear to ear, as Arnold had to break the hug momentarily.

"Grandpa, how long was I out for?" Arnold asked, wishing to get the obvious over with. Lila kept moving closer to him as he spoke.

"Long enough Shortman," he smiled, giving his grandson another long hug.

"Oh Arnold, I'm just so ever thankful that you have awoken; I have missed you so much," Lila smiled brightly.

But Arnold's mind was elsewhere, trying with all his might to figure out what happened and that dream; he felt that this dream meant something but what. He was standing and slowly dying and then…Helga!

With as much effort as he could muster, Arnold finally spoke. "Grandpa, where's Helga?"

D & F

**A/N: Arnold has finally awoken! I do hope you enjoyed this chapter; next one will be up soon, within two weeks at the maximum now that I have time for it. Please R & R if possible. Thanks!**


	8. Chapter Eight: Helga's Room

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Sorry for the delay; will try to keep posting regularly again.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Eight: Helga's Room

His heart was racing as he stood upon the old greying steps, the constant beating of his heart aching against his chest as he collected his bearings. The old door greeted him coldly, the peeling paint and scuffed floor around the steps troubling Arnold as he knocked on the door. He didn't expect to receive an answer; he only hoped he might be able to leave a note to ask where she was…

A loud shout of coming! from within scared him as he tried to regain his nerve. Looking himself over, Arnold attempted to breathe deeply, but only succeeded in snorting a little bit like a pig, to his own embarrassment. Dressed in jeans and a shirt he had thrown on in the hospital, he tried to calm down as the door opened. Expecting to see a towering figure glare down upon him, or a girl tell him off, Arnold was startled to see what appeared to be Big Bob hunched over and looking at him in a daze, seemingly puzzled as to if he was really standing before him or not.

"What can I do for you?" he slurred, scratching himself contentedly as he watched the young man before him fidget nervously.

"I was hoping to find Helga here…is she here?" Arnold asked, feeling more like a church mouse than a grown man. Bob, dressed in a white singlet that could not hide his gut and olive green shorts, mumbled something to himself before focussing upon Arnold once more.

"Helga huh? I think she might be around here somewhere…I don't remember seeing her lately but the girl lives in her own world," he growled, standing aside to allow Arnold in.

The instant he walked in, Arnold regretted it; the smell of old food mixed with empty wine bottles was nauseating, the impact nearly knocking Arnold over as he headed for the stair case. Big Bob payed him no mind as Arnold reached the top and looked around. It was darker than he thought it would be at the top of the stair well, and upon scanning to the left and right he couldn't make out which room was which. And even as he decided to go left on a hunch, he didn't really know what he was looking for.

He had only come here after leaving the hospital in the vain hope that he would find Helga here. For all he knew she was long gone, having left for her classes or gone out for the day. But the fact that Bob had not been up here lately worried him; what kind of father didn't look after his own daughter? Shadows crept beside him as he inched along, finally coming upon something that he felt may have been her door. It was bare, strangely bare, but he knocked first before touching the handle.

A small click; creaking open, Arnold stepped into a room so devoid of colour he immediately wanted to leave. But there were traces of Helga here, there was no doubt. But it appeared barren, empty and lifeless. The bed was missing a pillow, the desk was bare and the draws open. The cupboards around him were open and shut, some revealing empty coat hangers, while others hid their contents from view, leaving Arnold to wonder just what had happened here.

D & F

Helga's curled up form was unmoving as she finished her story, Rhonda nodding in agreement as she sat in silence with her. Seconds turned into minutes as Rhonda processed all that Helga had told her. She was positive that there was more behind Phoebe's choice, but she needed tact above all if she was going to get it out of Helga. For now though she would play it carefully and leave any questioning to Helga.

"Can I get another coffee?" Helga murmured, holding the cup out pleadingly.

Nodding, Rhonda got up and took the cup from Helga, making her way to the kitchen quickly and quietly, not wanting to disturb Helga from her thoughts. As soon as she entered the kitchen, Helga breathed a sigh of relief and unfurled herself. All the tension that came from the story eased a little as she looked around, her break enabling her to regain her thoughts and bearings.

"How did I do Phoebe?" Helga asked, aware that her friend was now next to her on the couch.

"Quite well Helga, although I still think it was a bit vague as to why I died," she replied, thinking deeply as Helga chanced a glance at her.

"Well I would have thought jumping off the building would do it personally," Helga replied as Phoebe shook her head.

"Not that part…I mean the part as to why I did that…even I don't remember why I did it," Phoebe frowned.

Helga shrugged her shoulders but felt an uneasy feeling settle over her. "Why wouldn't you remember it? Even if you're a figment of my imagination…"

Helga gasped as did Phoebe as it dawned upon them. "You're only a figment right?" Helga asked, earning a nod from Phoebe.

"Which would mean-"

"You don't know the real reason for it," Phoebe sighed sadly.

Rhonda strolled over to her and handed her the cup, being careful not to disturb Helga's deep concentration. "There's more to her death Rhonda," Helga said casually, masking her own feeling of bewilderment and catching Rhonda off guard.

"Huh?"

"Phoebe wouldn't just kill herself over something as trivial as pressure from home; it might have contributed, but I know Phoebe was much tougher than that. Something or someone would have had to affect this much more than simple pressure," Helga blurted, stunning Rhonda in her assessment.

"How can you be so sure Helga?"

Helga was about to respond but couldn't; the idea was out of reach to her, as if the grasp upon which her theory clung to was sailing high above her head. And it was frustrating. "Damn it Phoebe, why did you have to go?" Helga asked to no one in particular.

Watching from the warmth of her seat, Rhonda wanted to comfort Helga as tears slowly moved their way down her cheek but upon seeing Helga wipe them away bitterly thought better of it. "Phoebe meant a lot to you," Rhonda stated calmly.

Helga's eyes shot daggers at her. "And what is that supposed to mean princess?"

"Nothing more than what I said," she smiled. Perhaps bringing out some anger would relieve her stress.

"Going all doctor on me are you? Well it isn't going to work princess; you couldn't crack me if you're life depended on it," she boasted proudly, oblivious to the smirk Rhonda gave.

"I guess not then. Perhaps you would be sure then that I couldn't possibly know of your feelings for Arnold," Rhonda smiled politely.

Helga's face paled and Rhonda sniggered; _got you_. "How could you know that?"

"It is plain and simple Helga; the mere mention of his name makes you daydream about him for a moment. It's part of my job to know how you are thinking Helga."

Helga sighed in defeat. "I guess I'm not as unreadable as I thought."

Rhonda shook her head and resumed her drink before placing it aside. "We can go back to Phoebe's death soon; but I feel that there is something else…and yes it does relate to Arnold."

Her heart raced and mind felt like it was drifting into never land at the mention of his name; a quick shake of her head brought her back but not before Rhonda managed to chuckle to herself. "What would you like to know Rhonda?"

Rhonda seemed to churn over the words to ask her for a while before finally responding. "What happened the night of the senior prom?"

D & F

Books of all shapes and sizes littered the room as Arnold carefully sorted through them, trying to find anything that might tell him where Helga had gone. But as he put down the twenty-third book to produce nothing, Arnold sighed and fell onto Helga's bed. The stay in hospital had left him worn out, something he didn't think possible, as he had spent long enough resting. But the aches were still there; tenderly he sat back up to feel a dizzying headache coming on. His stomach churned violently as he wobbled.

Rushing out of her room and into the bathroom, Arnold leant over the toilet and threw up. All the pain he had felt came flooding back to him, leaving him sore beyond anything else he had ever experienced. For a while he simply sat looking at the wall opposite him, unable to move without setting his stomach off again. It was there that he tried to piece together what had happened since leaving the hospital…

Three hours earlier…

With as much effort as he could muster, Arnold finally spoke. "Grandpa, where's Helga?"

For the longest time no one spoke; noises form the hall and the work outside slowly drifted in, the sounds magnified in Arnold's ears as no one gave him an answer. It was only after much looking between each other that his Grandpa finally spoke. "That's a good question Shortman. Unfortunately…I don't know where she is."

Arnold sat up and tried to move, but was hindered by his Grandma and Lila pushing him back down. "You better take it easy slick; wouldn't want you to damage yourself further," Grandma said, helping him back into a more comfortable position for sitting up.

"I'm fine Grandma, I just need to go find Helga, that's all," Arnold said, trying to break the grip he was being placed under.

"Why ever would you want to go do that Arnold? Everyone you love is here trying to help you," Lila whispered gently, trying to sooth Arnold's growing irritability.

"But you don't understand, I need to see her now."

"All in good time Arnold, just sit and relax for a little bit," his Grandpa had said, earning a growing glare of anger from Arnold.

"Fine," he eventually mumbled, pulling his arm away from Lila.

Torn between being hurt and furious with Arnold, Lila glared at him momentarily before sitting back in her chair. "What's got you so obsessed with Helga?" she asked.

"I don't know…I just really want to see her."

"Why would you want to see her over your own girlfriend?" she asked hurtfully, earning a look of disappointment from his grandparents. As he was about to retaliate, a young looking doctor walked in, adjusting his glasses quickly as he walked up to Arnold's bed. Smiling widely, he held out his hand and shook Arnold's warmly as he adjusted his glasses once more to eye Arnold more closely.

"Wonderful to see you awake now Arnold. I was beginning to worry you wouldn't wake up. How are you feeling?"

"Sore; although I can guess why," he smiled back.

For a while the doctor asked Arnold question after question, checking for memory and physical problems they may have missed. After a while Arnold wished for nothing more than to be alone and away from the prying eyes of those around him. Finally, with the promise of coming to check on him later, the doctor left, his Grandpa joining the young doctor for a drink, leaving his Grandma and Lila for company. As Lila made a move towards him, Arnold backed away once more.

"Grandma, do you have any clothes for me?" he asked desperately.

Nodding she quickly rummaged through a bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt that looked a little worse for wear. Grabbing them, Arnold ducked into the small bathroom and changed, putting on a pair of shoes before sitting back on the bed. Trying to join him on the bed, Arnold finally had enough of Lila.

"Lila go away."

"Why Arnold? Why don't you want me?" She moped.

"Because Lila I said I have had enough."

"Of what? You're lucky to have me as your girlfriend Arnold."

Arnold again tried to hold down his anger with her, but was finding it harder. "Girlfriend? Lila we dated once and broke up afterwards; if I recall correctly you told me I was too nice and not what you were looking for."

"How can you say that Arnold? After all I did for you. I was your friend when even Gerald couldn't speak more than a sentence for three months. I was there to help you when you needed it most and I never asked for anything in return. Frankly I'm tired of your antics and I was right, you're not what I was looking for."

Had a camera been watching the room at this point, it may have captured the minute expressions of anger and fury that Arnold felt in that minute of Lila speaking. Unfortunately for Lila she had failed to pick up on these features.

"Lila Sawyer I can't believe you. For years I helped you and you used and abused my friendship with me because it suited you. You came crying to me when things got bad with one boy and would run off with another when you felt better. And when I wanted to get away from your manipulation, all I got was more headaches and pain than I could bare. And for the first time in years Helga of all people made me feel like I could be someone in the world who was wanted. So I will go and find her."

Stunned silence could only be responded to with Lila stating, "What if she doesn't want you?"

Somehow these words cut him to the core. All his resolve seemed to slip away faster than before, his spirit unable to fight against what Lila had said. He was basing all of his thoughts on how she had acted to him before the train accident. What if she didn't want to have anything to do with him now?

Arnold sighed and stood up. "I'm just going to stretch my legs outside the room; be back shortly."

Staggering gingerly out the door, Arnold wandered down the hall and began to walk normally when he was out of earshot of the room. Bracing himself for possible blockages, Arnold grinned as the hospital doors neared and opened up to reveal the world outside. Breathing in deeply, he set off down the path, his sole goal: find Helga…

Standing up, Arnold gingerly rubbed his stomach and flushed the toilet once more. Although the headache had eased off for the moment, Arnold was in no doubt that it would return shortly. Pulling himself up, Arnold managed to stand, making his way slowly back to Helga's room. It was strange even being in there; at some point he had felt like he had invaded her privacy, but as there was nothing there Arnold couldn't be sure that he really was. Pushing the door open once more, he made his way to her desk and sat down. Small bits of paper were left torn on her desk, a single flower left slowly wilting away.

Arnold glanced around but nothing caught his eye; the room was really quite barren. Where did she go? Arnold had no clue. Nothing made sense; the longer he looked, the more he seemed to come to the conclusion that she had run away. Her room wasn't tidy and it did seem to bare the marks of being left in a hurry. Arnold began to search around for a note or something that may tell him where she had gone. Why her own father hadn't even bothered to look for her was beyond his comprehension.

Opening the top draw, Arnold saw a book that caught his attention. Small and brown, he pulled it out and eyed it carefully. It was still quite new and didn't look as though it had been written in much. Arnold's hope soared; maybe she had left something here for him to find. Opening up a few pages Arnold's eyes scanned the contents and felt his heart drop; there was nothing. She hadn't written in the book at all. Frustrated he threw it at the bed; how could he have been so stupid. Of course Helga wouldn't want to be found if she ran away. And what made him so special for her to leave him a note telling him where she had gone?

Sighing deeply Arnold stood and picked up the book. Sitting on her bed, he cried. He hadn't been able to find her, to reconcile with her and tell her how he felt. Sobbing silently, Arnold froze as he heard footsteps come up the stairway. Wiping hastily, Arnold was surprised when he saw a mournful Bob walk up to the door way and lean against it, looking into his daughter's room sadly. Arnold wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind as he tried to cease his crying.

"I wish I knew where she was," Big Bob droned softly, as Arnold looked at the book in his hands. Flipping through a few of the pages he found a small scribble; someone knew about Phoebe's death. An address he hadn't seen in years was scribbled next to a name, a name that sent shivers up his spine and wish he had never ventured into Helga's room.

"She's such a good kid…I just…I don't know how to raise her," Bob spoke, wiping a tear from his eye. "She's grown so much and I haven't been there for her. All those times I broke her heart; I bet she fears her old man now. But I wish she didn't have to fear me. I'm not a bad man, I wanted things to be so different."

"Mr Pataki, do you know where she went?" Arnold asked, feeling that he may have found something at last.

Big Bob shook his head. "Probably to some place better than here. It's become nothing but a broken memory for the both of us. All those things I did…"

Slumping to the ground, Big Bob began to weep as Arnold stood up and made his way towards the door. Before leaving Arnold put his hand on Big Bob's shoulder and patted it gently. "I will find her Mr Pataki," he said softly, leaving him to weep openly near the site of his daughter's once loved room.

D & F

"The prom? What has the prom got to do with anything?" Helga asked.

Rhonda shrugged. "I'm assuming since it was such a big occasion for us all that you would have been in a position to see if something big occurred that night. Something that looking back now might explain the way Phoebe acted later."

Helga chuckled to herself. "I doubt it; Phoebe had a wonderful night and wouldn't have done anything out of the ordinary. But how does this relate to Arnold?"

"Come on Helga we all heard about it in some form or another."

"But there was no one else around at the time…except…"

"For some heavy breathing in the bushes nearby?" Rhonda commented casually.

Helga's fists turned to balls of rage as they clenched tightly, her knuckles turning white as her glare narrowed dangerously. "I will kill that boy," she muttered darkly.

"Don't worry about him for now; can you tell me about what happened that night?"

Helga looked around the room and shook her head. "I can't Rhonda. Not to you."

Rhonda nodded and pulled out her phone from her pocket. Within a moment she had dialled a number and waited patiently for the voice on the other end. Helga looked on confused as Rhonda talked to someone on the phone, frowning. Within a few minutes Rhonda's frown had changed to a smile as she handed the phone to Helga.

"Hello?" Helga asked, unsure as to who was on the other end.

"_Helga? Oh my__,__ it is wonderful to hear your voice again. How are you?"_ came an older, yet familiar voice.

Helga froze on the spot. "Dr Bliss?"

D & F

Arnold stood outside the door of the scribbled name on the sheet and sighed. He didn't really want to confront this right now, but this was the only lead he had to go on and he needed to make it count. Knocking once more, Arnold waited silently as he heard footsteps grow louder and locks click as the door opened to reveal a boy with a dark afro combed upwards looking back at him, confused.

"Arnold? What are you doing here?" he asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"I thought I would come by and visit you Gerald," he smiled.

"But why?" Gerald asked, looking around to see if he had missed something.

"It's about a book I found Gerald; it has your name. And besides," Arnold said, placing a hand on the door as Gerald tried to shut it, "I think it's time we talked about what happened to Phoebe that night."

"Not the rooftop Arnold," he whined.

"No Gerald…the prom."

D & F

**A/N: So much for two weeks. Everything else caught up with me so I tried to make sure this chapter was at its best before posting it. I will endeavour to get the next one up as soon as I can write it. Please R & R if you can. And thank you to all who have stuck with the story so far; I will keep going!**


	9. Chapter Nine: Proms and Dances

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Sorry for the delay; will try to keep posting regularly again.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Nine: Proms and Dances

Arnold's hand was nearly crushed as Gerald tried to slam the door. If not for a sudden push forward into the door, forcing it open, Arnold might not have been able to use his hand again. The tumbling and scuffling over the carpeted entrance turned to grunts of anger and annoyance as Gerald wrestled with Arnold, whose entrance had given him a greater advantage. Although Gerald had spent a few years training his body, his recent lack of movement rendered him incapable of sustaining his impact and eventually found himself tangled with Arnold on the ground.

"Get off of me man!" Gerald yelled, struggling aimlessly against Arnold, whose body ached terribly as he felt the contents of his stomach lurch forward dangerously.

"Gerald calm down! I just need to talk to you," Arnold pleaded.

"No way Arnold; I won't talk about her," Gerald shouted, his gaze turning from anger to fear, "I can't face her Arnold."

"Gerald this is getting ridiculous. We need to talk about what happened to Phoebe on prom night. I know that you two weren't exactly happy together that night."

Gerald managed to free a leg and kick Arnold in the stomach, the instant pain causing Arnold to cry out loudly. He had healed, but the broken ribs were still tender. Collapsing onto the floor, Arnold was sure Gerald was going to kick him again when he heard a thud on the floor. Looking up to see his best friend now slumped on the carpet openly sobbing as he looked at Arnold made him wonder just how deeply Phoebe's death had shook him. For a while Arnold tried to regain the feeling in his ribs while Gerald sat oblivious to the world around him, his face frozen in helpless pain.

Arnold leant against the door and closed it, the last click shaking Gerald as he looked up. He had never seen his best friend this shaken about Phoebe before. Even when he stood beside him as they lowered her to her final resting place, Arnold had been able to watch Gerald hold himself together enough until he returned home. But this…Gerald struggled to make his way to the living room, as Arnold gingerly staggered after him, the pain from the injuries escalating as he sat down on the couch quickly. Nothing had really changed in the last few years; dust collected itself here and there in odd places, but overall it remained as clean and as tidy as to when Gerald had moved in by himself.

It was strange for it to be so tidy, but Arnold guessed that Gerald had to take his mind off everything somehow. His friend though sat dazed and lost in his thoughts as Arnold adjusted to the couch. Few people visited Gerald these days and for one reason: Phoebe. No one knew how to talk around him without his temper or pain catching the better of him. But he had to try and make some sense of his best friend; he needed to find out what had happened…

"So Gerald, how have you been?" Arnold asked, hoping to try and defuse the anger that Gerald was directing at him.

"How do you think Arnold? It doesn't take a genius to realise that the one thing I don't want to talk about is Phoebe. Why did you have to go and bring her up?" Gerald hissed angrily.

"Gerald I need to know what happened that night," Arnold pleaded.

Gerald glared and turned away. Mid-afternoon rays of sun crept across the carpet towards the couch, warming Arnold's legs but not relieving him of his confusion at Gerald's inability to want to talk with him.

D & F

Standing outside the door, Helga felt her heart race once more as she tried to come to grips with her choice. Of course it would have been easier to not talk about it, but even with Rhonda's help, no one could help her quite like Dr Bliss. Something about the door made her skin crawl at the thought of what she was going to face behind it. A familiar friend sat behind it no doubt; but that was years ago. Now she was a reflection of her former self. And it was with trembling fingers that she turned the knob and walked in.

A woman, once young and youthful now sat at her desk, her greying hair hidden by the dye that was beginning to fade out. Whilst still youthful, wrinkles showed clearly as Helga walked towards the older woman. But those eyes, still so gentle and caring looked on her lovingly, welcoming her to sit down in the chair in front of her. Rhonda's presence behind her helped steel her nerve for the task, but it also meant there was no escape. As a child she had tried to outsmart the doctor; as an adult she doubted she'd have any chance at succeeding

"I must say it's a pleasure to see you again Helga," Dr Bliss smiled, her look softening as Rhonda took a seat beside Helga. "It has certainly been a while, you have grown so much."

"Yeah, well, thanks Doc," Helga replied, unsure as to how to take it.

"Come now Helga, even I can tell that you have matured into a wonderful woman, not to mention beautiful. How has your family been?"

Helga gave an involuntary shudder, earning a frown from Dr Bliss. "I see. Well, why don't you make yourself comfortable on the couch. Don't get me wrong," she chuckled as Helga glanced nervously at the object in question, "This isn't a session. There is a blanket there to keep you warm. I'm only here to talk to you about what you want to talk about."

"You promise that you aren't going to blast my brain open and try to pry out my most inner, deepest darkest secrets?" Helga asked, fidgeting with her fingers as she eyed off the couch once again.

"Not unless you want me to."

Hesitantly Helga left the chair and wandered over to the couch, the brown leather coming up to meet her as she felt her legs giving way. As if her vision had narrowed out in front of her, Helga could only see dread and fear within her line of sight, each bit warning her not to do this. It would be too hard; there was no turning back; she would be forever trapped; no one would love her; no one…

Bumping into the couch, Helga was surprised to find that her body had arrived there before her head. Sitting down rather clumsily, she regained her composure and tried to push it to the back of her head as Dr Bliss and Rhonda came to join her. Although there was something about the way they moved towards her that scared her, she held down the desire to scream at the top of her lungs. As they got comfy, she pulled the blanket around herself and looked at them and their questioning smiles.

"So Helga, where would you like to start?" Dr Bliss asked politely.

Still conscious of what she would say, Helga gulped loudly before trying to get her words out. "Well the thing is Doc, I…I…might be…"

"What she is trying to say is that she is worried about a memory she has. We were trying to discuss it, but she could not open up to me," Rhonda interjected.

"Thank you Rhonda," Dr Bliss said, the strain in her voice letting Rhonda know that she did not want Helga to stop talking.

Helga's throat seemed to dry up as Dr Bliss turned back to her, eyeing her carefully before nodding to her. "Take your time."

"I don't remember it all very clearly, but…"

_Prom Night…_

Music came towards them like a tidal wave, the sheer power and might blowing her over as she tried to fix the flower on her wrist once more; Adjusting her pink dress, she wondered why she had ever agreed to go with this kid. It was beyond her reasoning now, but as she walked arm in arm into the prom room, she was sure she could hear some people snicker and others chuckle to themselves as Brainy smiled proudly. She was even sure that she could make out some of the whispers being asked about where Arnold was.

Arnold. The word was poison in her veins, a pain she wished desperately to be rid of. She had only gone with Brainy because Miss Perfect had snagged her deepest desire. The rumours that she was cheating on Arnold were probably true; but even Helga had some sympathy for the girl. Her father passing away in an accident that she was made to watch would change anyone. Why she had to use Arnold of all boys though, was not fair, least of all to Helga…

Shaking her head, she mumbled something to Brainy about grabbing some drinks and watched him scurry off, ever hopeful to please his date. With the effort of a much older woman, Helga made her way to the seats lined around the basketball hall and sat down, brushing aside a stray hair as the lights in the room began to change colours and move around. Swirling and twirling, they were bright enough to make anyone hurl, but she managed to hold it down as her eyes scanned the crowd.

A few students here and there were dancing, while most were talking and thinking of what to do after spiking the punch. Harold had managed to snag Patty for a dance, running off laughing as Sid chased after him, holding his favourite cap in his right hand and demanding Harold clean it after spraying shaving cream into it. Stinky was standing proudest of all though; wearing his finest clothes, he was truly a sight to behold. Even Helga couldn't help but smile; he had come so far and done so well; he deserved this night more than others.

Rhonda's sulking face was seen talking hurriedly with the rest of the girls, no doubt wondering when the crowned prince would arrive and whisk away the ball with his dancing. It was rumoured Arnold had been talking lessons for weeks now, and everyone, particularly Rhonda, had been waiting to see whether he would stuff it all up and go down in history or wow the crowd. No word yet though as Rhonda appeared to laugh rather loudly.

A headache was dutifully forming in the back of her head, working its way around to the front as she spotted a familiar face walking towards her, her date in tow. Although she was positive that they were happy, something about Gerald's face gave away a sliver of resentment and anger. But Phoebe's beaming smile wiped it all away as she embraced Helga in a bone-crushing hug, something that Helga was unaware Phoebe was capable of. Gerald smiled softly as she broke away, smiling brightly as she kissed him on the lips.

Phoebe was stunning; wearing a black halter neck dress, with matching high heels, it cut off just below her knees and showed off the slim curves she had developed over the years. Gerald standing beside her had managed to pull off handsome, a feat Helga did not think was possible. Wearing dark pants, with a white shirt and tie, his black vest appeared so soft and silky that she was tempted to reach out and touch it. Just as she was about to say something, Brainy wandered over and handed her a drink.

"Thank you Brainy," Helga managed to get out without punching him in the face. Even here he was trying to lean over her shoulder, with that annoying breathing…

"Enjoying yourself?" Phoebe asked, wrapping her arm around Gerald tightly.

"It's a bore so far Phebs; hope something exciting happens or this might be the most boring night of my life."

"Surely you don't mean that Helga; studies show that all formal nights feature some form of excitement and entertainment-"

"Thanks Phebs," Helga groaned.

"So Pataki, you decided to go with Brainy huh?" Gerald smirked as Brainy wandered off towards the dancing.

Helga groaned inwardly; she wanted nothing more than to reach back and punch him out. "I did; do you have a problem with it Hair boy?" she glared angrily.

"Gerald don't be rude to Helga; I'm sorry Helga, Gerald did not mean it that way," she smiled sweetly, softening Helga's anger and her fists.

But as the music turned to thumping beats and roaring anthems, Helga tried to move away from the rest of the group, walking around aimlessly as Phoebe and Gerald moved to the dancing. Teachers patrolled the hall closely, walking along every now and then, smiling to the students and watching for any sign of problems. Helga could make out their old teacher Mr Simmons walking along smiling proudly. It would have to be said that it was a credit to his work all those years ago that the class had survived together for this long.

Then the music stopped. Everyone froze, as the lights kept moving around, searching for someone in particular. Moving over her, Helga dreaded what would happen as a soft song began to grow, the saxophone beginning to play out its tune beautifully as the lights stopped on the door. Her dread turned to hopeless despair as the door opened. A girl, dressed in green, stepped forward, her dress flowing elegantly as she gracefully moved across the floor, her red hair flowing behind her. But Helga's eyes were fixed on the young man walking in behind her.

Dressed in black, and favourite cap on his head, Arnold walked in cool, calm and collected. Tonight was the night and he was not here to let anyone down. Had Helga been able to keep her eyes on him without losing control she would have. And she wasn't the only one; every girl in the room had turned to see Arnold walk up beside Lila, take her hand and spin her around. With minimal fuss they danced towards the centre, spinning and turning in perfect time to the beat as the saxophone roared to life, much to the cheering and joy of the crowd, Arnold spun around, catching her in her mid-turn and twirled around her, their passion turning to desire as Arnold ran away from her momentarily slid down to the floor, his knees supporting him as he turned around in his slide.

Lila lifted the hem of her dress ever so slightly, flashing him a shot of her thigh as he ran back towards her. Helga's face burned with envy; he looked so happy, so in control of his life, that Miss Perfect wasn't the only one she envied.. As the crowd cheered them on, for one brief moment Helga's eyes met Lila's and time froze. In that one look Helga could see her own defeat and Lila's victory; and Lila knew it too. With a sly smirk, time raced forward again as Arnold pulled her close, tilting her down slightly as Lila kissed him quickly on the lips.

Jealously turned to rage as her heart wrenched from her chest. How dare that bitch touch the one she loved!

Everything within her tensed; no one would get one up on Helga G. Pataki. But catching the eye of one of the teachers, Helga shook her head and headed outside. Barging past a stunned Brainy and opening the hall door, the chill of the night air clung to her skin, wrapping around her as she headed to one of the railings. Leaning over it, Helga groaned sadly. Everything was wrong; nothing was ever going to go right now. A click from behind her made her stop her crying and continue looking out over the railing to the town around her.

This was no place to stay; she could never spend her entire life here. It was too suffocating, too small and too painful…it had only been a few years since she had left…

A small cough came from behind, causing her to turn around and find Phoebe smiling sadly at her. "I saw what happened; I'm so sorry Helga."

Helga brushed it off. "Big deal Phebs; if football head and miss perfect want to make love on the dance floor that is up to them; they could just spare us the intimate kissing and save it for the bedroom."

Helga turned away to hide her grimace; Phoebe would no doubt know how much this hurt her. "I see Helga."

For a while Helga just lent over the railing, Phoebe joining her as the night air sent chill after chill throughout her body. Why she wore a dress in this weather when she could have worn a jacket and jeans…Catching Phoebe's look, Helga frowned as Phoebe brushed away another tear from her eye.

"Phebs, what's going on?" She asked, suddenly aware that Gerald was nowhere to be seen.

"Nothing; I was just out for some fresh air," she tried to smile, but it wobbled, giving way to a sob.

"Nice try Phoebe," Helga smirked with Phoebe smiling in return.

"Well…it's just that Gerald and I had an argument earlier today and it…"

Helga waited but Phoebe didn't continue. After waiting for a pause, Helga asked, "It what Phoebe?"

Phoebe seemed to struggle with an explanation. "It got out of hand…we yelled at each other and I said some things I never meant to say to him…now he doesn't know if he wants me anymore…Oh Helga, I don't know what to do," she cried, turning into Helga's arms and weeping.

Holding her tightly against her chest, Helga stroked her hair as Phoebe sobbed, soaking her dress with shuddering tears. Not that Helga minded; but seeing her best friend like this was breaking her heart. "Do you want me to rearrange his features for you?" Helga grinned evilly; she did need to vent her anger somehow…

"No Helga," Phoebe smiled, muttering out the words, "I don't need you to do that."

She didn't move as the door opened and Gerald walked out, looking rather disgruntled, but relieved as he set his eyes on Phoebe. "But thank you Helga."

Followed closely behind him, wearing a dark jacket, Arnold took a step into the moonlight and stole Helga's attention. Phoebe slowly left Helga's embrace and moved towards Gerald, falling into his embrace as they stood still. Arnold seemed unsure as to what he should do and very quickly joined Helga's side, looking out over the rails to avoid listening to Gerald and Phoebe's conversation. For a while they didn't say anything, much to Helga's relief as she tried to put him out of her mind. But it was so hard to when his scent drifted to her with each breath with each breath, each second setting her heart ablaze with desire for him.

"You look nice tonight Helga," he eventually said.

Taken aback, Helga tried not to let her blush show. "Thanks; you look pretty good yourself," she replied, earning a puzzled look from Arnold. Panicking, she added, "For a football head that is."

Normality seemed to return as Arnold smiled softly. "Whatever you say Helga."

Silence cloaked them as they were left alone by Gerald and Phoebe, who returned inside after Phoebe mentioned being too cold. "Those were some nice moves on the dance floor tonight Arnold. When did you learn to dance?"

Arnold seemed to frown at her request. "For the last three months mostly. Not that I really wanted to."

"What do you mean?"

Arnold didn't say anything for a while, instead choosing to watch the moon in the sky above. This wasn't like the Arnold she knew and loved so much…

"Lila. I guess I'm just tired of being with her; she has changed so much since her father died. And it's not that I don't like her," Arnold quickly added, "But I just don't think she is…"

Helga waited but the words never came. "Why don't you tell her that then?"

Arnold took his time; how he made her heart race though as he brushed back his hair. "I guess it's harder than I think…have you ever liked somebody else, even though there was no way in the world they should or could and even if you put yourself out there, they just ignore you or don't understand? Have you ever felt like that Helga?"

"All the time Arnold," she whispered.

Arnold seemed to switch on as he moved closer to her and turned her to face him. No longer a small boy, he was now just taller than her, looking deeply into her eyes. Wave after wave of numb bliss washed over her as he tried to find the right words. His closeness stole her breath away, leaving her longing for him to move even closer, say the words she yearned for, and let her love him.. "I guess what I want to say is that…"

A gasp from nearby broke their gaze as Helga turned pale; wheezing and looking aghast at the two of them, Brainy seemed on the verge of a meltdown.

D & F

**A/N: Next chapter is nearly done and will be posted shortly, as in a week shortly. Please ****review**** if you can.** **And thank you to all who have stuck with the story so far; I will keep going!**


	10. Chapter Ten: Confessions

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk. Sorry for the delay; will try to keep posting regularly again.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Ten: Confessions

Watching the two jump apart quickly, Brainy sighed and slumped against the wall. Not waiting for an explanation, Brainy held his hand up and took a drag of his puffer. "I guess…it was only…a matter of time."

Stunned, Helga was gobsmacked as Brainy smiled. "I always thought…maybe one day…but I guess I always…knew…thank goodness I found her before it was too late though," he beamed brightly as a rather shy girl walked up behind him, taking his hand and smiling timidly.

"Nadine?" Arnold and Helga exclaimed together, earning a laugh from Brainy and Nadine.

"I'm sorry Helga but…I guess I can't help it…we're in love," he smiled.

Helga's shocked gaze softened to a warm smile as she moved towards Brainy. "That's alright Brainy; I'm glad you found someone. And Nadine?" she said, turning towards her, "Look after him."

She nodded and pulled Brainy with her back into the hall, closing the door behind them. Both Arnold and Helga stood still, unable to comprehend what had just happened. "Did Brainy and Nadine just…" Arnold stuttered as Helga nodded.

"And did he just see us here and think we were…" Again Helga nodded to Arnold's statement.

"What were you going to say before though Arnold?" Helga asked as she turned to face him.

"I was going to say…that I…do you want to have a dance with me?" he asked, holding out his hand to her.

"Won't your girlfriend mind?"

"She isn't my girlfriend. Besides she's off with some other boy at the moment anyway," he replied sadly.

"Well, we can't have you being left out now can we?" Helga smiled as she took his hand and felt shivers run through her spine. His hand was so soft, so wonderful.

And if someone had taken a photo she would have had to deny ever touching his hand until the day she died.

Wandering back into the prom suddenly became a rather difficult task; no doubt everyone would be watching her. And with Arnold now in tow with her, rumours would only spread. In a fit of panic, she rushed forward to the dance floor and tried to blend in, only for Arnold to follow behind her closely. She hated this; even when she had the chance to spend a dance with her beloved, here she was running away from him like some scaredy cat who had tried to eat Harold's last chocolate pudding.

But the thumping of her heart was getting worse. Sooner or later she would have to acknowledge Arnold's existence behind her as the music slowed down, the soft melody soothing her jaded emotions as Arnold inched closer to her. "Did you still want to dance?"

His voice was so smooth, so calm and so soft in her ear; how she wished he would take her, make her his…smacking herself mentally across the face, Helga shook her head and turned around to Arnold. He was so confident, so sure of himself…how could she say no? Her heart practically commanded her to do it.

"As long as you keep that mind of yours out of the gutter bucko; I'm not some easy catch you know," she smirked, liking the way Arnold seemed to catch onto her bravado…and yet at the same time felt uneasy that he could read her so well.

"Whatever you say Helga."

Holding her hand out to him, he took it into his gently and led her out onto the dance floor, the lights having dimmed to a soft deep blue as the melody carried out over the group. No one seemed to pay them any attention and as Helga placed her hand on his shoulder, she was sure she was blushing harder than ever before. Being able to hold herself together was a gift she cherished as he placed his hand on her waist. _Oh lord Arnold, take me now!_

Unable to slap herself, Helga tried to silence the little menace inside that had been pent up for so long. She was a teenager after all! Carefully, Arnold began to lead her, tentatively at first but beginning to build up some rhythm as he began to control her every move. She likened it to a game of chess, each move calm and calculated. It dawned on her as the group began to take notice that the only time they had danced before this was when she had pulled all of those pranks years ago.

"Not planning to push me into a pool again are you Arnold?" she chuckled, hoping in her heart she wasn't about to go for another swim.

Arnold smirked but kept moving to the melody as she felt herself relax into his movements. Slowly they made their way to the centre of the room, her feet now moving of their own accord and drowning out the small voice that told her to take him there and then. Her peers began to move back; one by one they began to surround them in a circle apprehensive, but entranced by the strange display of graceful emotion before them.

Her mind was racing as the song ended and the music stopped. The lights went out; a flash of red and Arnold moved back. Flashing again for a second she could make out his movement towards her. In between the flashing of red and black, she was sure he was moving very deliberately towards her, his body moving in ways she had never seen or dreamt of him doing. He kept this up until he was holding her, his arm around her waist and looking past her. If ever she was going to make a move…now would not have been the best time.

Without a second's hesitation, Arnold moved behind her gracefully and took her hands with him, spinning her around as they both faced one another. Slowly, Arnold stepped out to the right, bending down low with Helga following suit. Whatever he had in mind, Helga was sure he was trying to help her through it. As they moved to one another, Helga could swear she saw him sweat and chance a glance at her…shaking her head as he came within inches of her lips, Helga took a step back and smirked. Two could play this game.

Turning her shoulder to him, she blew him a kiss and lifted her dress just a fraction to show off her legs. Why she was even doing this was beyond her, but he responded brilliantly, spinning past her so quickly she was sure he managed to poke her in the ribs. Seductively she held her hand out in front of her, drawing him in as he swayed towards her sensually. The heat in the room became palpable, Arnold's movement beginning to intensify as Helga followed his lead.

As the crowd stared on in wonder, Helga and Arnold taunted one another, each subtle movement designed to heighten the desire between them. The music began to swell to the conclusion as Arnold was pushed back by a playful nudge from Helga. Trumpets blared as Arnold moved backwards. Throwing aside his jacket, Helga moved towards him as Arnold ran towards her, the sound piercing the stadium as Helga spun around.

In one smooth motion she held out her hand towards him, their hands embracing as he swerved and held her tightly against him. Holding each other, Helga was panting as was Arnold as the crowd watched on, the music blaring louder than ever before. Time slowed down; Helga could see his eyes searching, pleading with her…but for what? Her mind was clouded as he looked at her closely. _Go for it_, she heard herself mumble as he leaned in.

Helga felt them crash onto hers before she registered what had happened; holding it softly, yet passionately, Helga could hardly control herself: she was kissing Arnold!

D & F

His uncomfortable gaze worsened as Gerald refused to budge, his steely eyes peering down to the floor in his vain attempt to avoid the conversation Arnold knew he did not want to have. Too long he had watched his friend slip away, and now with nothing left in the way, here they sat, neither saying a word despite the emptiness that filled both of them. Arnold wanted to speak, to ask what had happened, to find a clue or something that might lead him to where Helga could be…but the time between him and Gerald was slipping away, and the memory of a lost love was taking it.

"Gerald, what did you do to Phoebe?" he asked gently, trying to prise the information from his long time friend.

"Leave me alone Arnold, I didn't do anything," he murmured, wiping away a solitary tear from his eye.

"I don't believe you Gerald."

"Well you should! You're my best friend, you're meant to believe me."

Arnold's resolve was wearing thin. "Tell me what happened Gerald; Phoebe was crying that night and we both know it."

Gerald seemed to think about it for a moment before curling into a ball and beginning to cry. "It's all my fault…I shouldn't have pushed her away…but I wanted the best for her…it's all my fault."

"Gerald," Arnold spoke gently as he stood up and walked towards his friend, sitting next him with a comforting hand on his arm. "What happened?"

Bloodshot eyes look back at him, so miserable and full of pain, filled with a longing to be rid of all that held him down. "The prom wasn't the first time…"

D & F

One day before Prom…

Sun beamed down brightly as he strode along, his hair puffed up and his eyes scanning the scenery around him joyfully. Gerald was on top of the world and nothing was going to bring him down. School was nearly at an end; soon life would begin! He could be free of all the dull and dreary day-to-day life that tied him down and wore him to nothing. But at least he had her; he grinned as he strode up the steps and knocked on the door.

How he had claimed Phoebe as his girlfriend was beyond him. Sure he had worked hard at it and now they were celebrating two years together, two years of the best relationship he had ever known. If Arnold ever found out about the love songs he wrote her…he shuddered to think about how much leverage Arnold could gain just through those songs alone. He would be a slave for life. A clicking noise from the other side made his heart beat faster as it opened slowly.

Gerald was embracing her before she was able to return the favour; her parents were away for an hour or two, the formal demanding some of their time in search of the perfect gift for their daughter. Gerald laughed joyfully as Phoebe tickled him, causing him to push her back playfully. They smiled at one another, his mind trailing her as he followed her upstairs. She had been incredibly excited to tell him about something, something so important that she had been unable to tell him over the phone.

With another giggle, Phoebe pushed open the door to her room and pulled him over to her desk, trying to show him what it was that had caused so much excitement. His mind was racing: maybe she was going to explain to him their end of year plans, explain in great detail the hotel and beaches they would visit and the endless nights spent…Gerald grinned and sat down on the chair as she searched her desk for the important information.

"So what was so important that you couldn't wait to tell me?" Gerald smiled as he watched his rather gorgeous girlfriend giggle.

"I didn't know how else to tell you Gerald…but I've been accepted!"

Gerald smiled. "That's great babe; which one took you?"

"Oxford in England Gerald," she beamed at him.

The area where his stomach was meant to be shattered into a million pieces. "That's…great."

Phoebe was so excited she failed to notice his look of despair. She had been accepted…he knew this was always going to happen, but had he really thought it would feel like this? He knew she was going abroad now. He would have to follow her surely? But how? He wasn't exactly living the life; he would have to save up so much money to be able to live in England…and would she still want him?

Gerald didn't know what to say and unfortunately it showed as Phoebe finally picked up on it. "Gerald is something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all my fine lady," he tried smirking, pulling her closer for a kiss.

"Gerald, I'm not a fool."

She knew him better than he knew himself at times. "I don't think you are Phoebe."

"Then why are you lying to me?"

_Oh Lord_. "I'm not lying to you-"

"Gerald you're not ok with me going are you?" Phoebe looked at him, her concern growing as he tried to hide what he was feeling.

He was trying to find an excuse or divert the focus onto something else…Lord he had only been here five minutes and it was all falling apart. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean not exactly? It's simple; yes or no."

Her hand on her hips wasn't helping his thoughts as he tried to think of a way of keeping what he thought out of the conversation. "…no."

Phoebe's next few words were drowned out as she began to yell at him. He assumed she was; he had tried to keep her here against her own will and now he was going to be punished for it. Her voice was slowly piercing the haze around his ears and he wished he hadn't heard the next few words. "Maybe I should just break up with you now."

Gerald finally snapped, his mind suddenly fuelled by an anger that began to erupt inside and out. "Maybe you should Phoebe! Obviously I'm not cut out to be your boyfriend," he shouted, stunning Phoebe as her eyes grew to the size of baseballs.

"Gerald I-"

"I get it Phoebe; you're going and nothing will change it. I should just leave you now, before we have to do it later," he spat venomously, storming away from her cries and pleas, the bitter tears being wiped away hurriedly as he slammed the front door behind him…

D & F

"So you patched it up later?" Arnold asked as Gerald nodded solemnly.

"She never quite got over it though; she would bring it up every now and then. But…she never openly said much about it," Gerald sighed deeply, sinking further into the chair.

"So how come you kept fighting?"

Gerald sneered. "What else was there to do? Each time we fought we were hiding away what we really felt. I knew she was going to leave and she knew it too. There wasn't anything either of us could do…as soon as we mentioned the truth it would end."

Arnold sat back puzzled. "If you two fought so much, who did you turn to for help?"

Gerald looked at Arnold strangely and shook his head. "Arnold, you're the first soul I've told. As for Phoebe I think she suggested this doctor Helga had gone to a long time ago…but I never went."

"What was her name?" he asked impatiently.

"I don't know Arnold. Maybe you should go," Gerald beckoned towards the door, his face defeated and worn out.

Gathering himself, Arnold stood up and headed towards the door but paused for a moment before reaching for the handle. "What was the last thing you told Phoebe Gerald?" he asked, his eyes focused on the door in front of him.

He could hear some shuffling, a slight cough before Gerald spoke. "I told her she should go."

Arnold sighed and opened the door, closing it carefully before walking down the path towards home.

D & F

Sitting on the couch in Rhonda's apartment, Helga's tummy groaned a little as she smelt dinner being cooked in the kitchen. Meat was on the agenda and as the smell wafted towards her nose, Helga was sure that she would be biting into the pillow shortly if Rhonda did not hurry up.

"Helga, when you and Arnold kissed, what happened afterwards?" Rhonda called from the kitchen.

"Nothing happened," Helga shrugged her shoulders.

"Uh-huh, right. Have you seen Arnold recently?"

"Of course," she replied a bit too quickly.

Smirking as she walked into the room, Rhonda handed her the plate of food and sat down near her and began to eat. "Have you noticed anything different?"

"Different? He's the same football headed boy that I've always known," Helga replied as she tucked into the food on her plate gratefully.

Rhonda shook her head, frowning deeply as she tried to chew off some of the steak on her fork. "Might have overcooked it a little… I mean something that may not have been there originally, something that has changed since you saw him in high school."

"Nope, nothing there to report."

D & F

Arnold's arrival home was greeted through hugs of relief and a couple of pats on the back from his friends, but his head was spinning and his body weary. With a promise to talk to everyone tomorrow, he staggered up to his room and opened the door. It was untouched, so clean and neat that he could have sworn he had been there that morning. Soft pale moonlight peeked through the clouds, the fullness of the light obscured by the clouds above. Despite this Arnold did not mind as he welcomed the relief of his own room. Kicking off his shoes, Arnold crawled under the blankets and felt his eyes shut themselves.

He was tired. Eyes closed, body aching and head spinning, Arnold tried to piece together what he knew so far but to no avail. It was all jumbled up, the pieces to his puzzle mixed and drawn over with what he now knew to be the truth. Gerald's confessions had proven little as to where Helga was. And Phoebe…Arnold tried to brush away the thought of Phoebe and ignore the pain that filled his heart.

He hated to think of what she must have done that night, writing that final letter before leaving to go see Helga. And Helga…she had to watch and endure it all, without knowing what to do. How she had managed to cope for this long was amazing. She had stayed with Phoebe all the way up to the end, even when Phoebe had left her…

Alone…

He knew that feeling all too well. The empty place in his heart wasn't helped as one mistake after another came tumbling down…the formal…Arnold cursed himself for being so stupid and rolled over, determined to forget about that kiss.

D & F

For the next few hours Helga and Rhonda talked and talked, with more wine beginning to be consumed as the night moved on. Finally, Helga and Rhonda both went to bed, both lost in their own worlds as Helga's mind tried to replay the conversation from earlier in the evening. Arnold hadn't changed; he was still the same, minus one or two things, but they were nothing major…

"Rhonda!"

Fumbling and a few choice words could be heard from the next room as a banging of doors was followed by the appearance of Rhonda, dressed in pj's, and looking at a wide eyed and afraid Helga.

"What is it?"

"There was more to that memory…wasn't there?" Helga asked, Rhonda's lips curling into a smile at watching Helga's realisation.

"The only question is do you remember Helga?"

Helga sat for a moment and thought about it before finally speaking. "I think so…that was the night that changed Arnold."

D & F

**A/N: Thank you for reading and please Review if you can. Sorry about it not being in a week; had to go back and change some bits but the next one is well on its way to being posted. Thank you!**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Dreams in the Night

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Eleven: Dreams in the Night

He floated in and out of the dreams gently, the beginning melding into the ending all most as soon as it had begun. For a while he simply let it go, embracing the long swell of relief that came with each passing dream. But after a while, once the euphoria wore off, Arnold began to think about what was happening. The dreams seemed to come and go as they pleased, but all seem to link together.

As often as the dreams came, Helga would be floating in and around them, never speaking or uttering a word to him. Her silence was cold, cutting him to the core each time he came to see her. But the events all led back to one place: the formal. As the scene around him blurred and froze for a moment, Arnold saw the dancing forms of himself and Helga, moving in time to the music beautifully. He paused, watching in awe as they moved closer to the end, his own heart now beating rapidly as they came up for the kiss. His mouth could feel the softness, the tender embrace of her lips on his as they held it.

Arnold could swear he was in the middle of the kiss right now, his body aching to hold her once more. But as he looked out over the crowd, Arnold could not help but sense something was wrong. Some of his peers were in shock, some were trying to talk about what was happening but could not, but the one thing wrong was Gerald and Phoebe. They were nowhere to be seen.

As if floating down to the ground below, Arnold tentatively moved around the scene, watching as time around him seemed to move infinitesimally slowly. The embraced kiss was now forgotten as he moved past himself, and headed towards the back of the room. He couldn't explain the force drawing him towards this area, but his mind was already made up to move and his legs simply followed. Drifting across the surface, Arnold's eyes were trying to take in the dark surroundings; he didn't remember this area of the gym, its wall lined in darkness and separated from the light above. Dimly lit and tucked away, Arnold could hear voices, softly yet firmly talking with one another as he came to a door. It read 'OUT OF BOUNDS', but Arnold did not pay it mind and opened it.

There in the darkened room, lit only by a light at the back, stood Gerald, shaking his head and sighing as Phoebe sat on a bucket, tears streaming from her eyes as she looked helplessly towards Gerald. Neither could see him, but it did not stop him from coughing loudly in the hope they would notice him and behave normally. But like a fly on the wall they did not pay him any attention, but instead continued to talk freely as if he did not exist.

"Phoebe I don't understand why this has to be a big problem; I know you're leaving so we can make this easier on ourselves now," Gerald pleaded, something Arnold rarely heard his friend do.

"Because Gerald, we are meant to be," Phoebe whimpered, trying hard not to ruin her makeup.

"Meant to be? Damn it girl, didn't you know this was always going to happen? You were always going to move on from here when the time came…without me there is nothing left to stop you," Gerald murmured at the end, avoiding Phoebe's now furious gaze.

"College is important to me Gerald, but so are you. I can't be happy without you in my life. How else can I keep going? Tell me how Gerald," Phoebe barked, trying to motivate him.

"I don't know Phoebe! We are both leading such different lives now-"

"Cut it out Gerald!" she screamed, her eyes shutting as Arnold felt himself being pushed back by her cry.

Arnold could feel the room beginning to close in around him, the darkness growing and dimming the light even more as he tried to make out their conversation. Gerald and Phoebe seemed to be muttering for a while, with Arnold frozen as the light seemed to grow thinner and thinner in the room. On and off the light was flashing, his eyes looking at Gerald and Phoebe. In the background he could hear his name being called out…_hey Arnold_...

"There's something else Gerald," Phoebe sighed as Arnold felt himself being sucked away from them, "I think I might be…"

D & F

Helga's eyes were searching the room for the answer to her memory. If she could just find something to trigger the event, maybe then she could remember what it was she had suppressed so deeply…

"Helga why are looking at me like that?" Rhonda asked, cocking her brow in confusion as Helga's eyes darted around the room and settled on Rhonda with a hard look.

"What else happened that night Rhonda?" she asked shrewdly.

For the first time, Helga saw Rhonda begin to act nervously around her, the confident and calm girl no longer evident. Now blushing furiously, Rhonda sat down. "Not much happened after the kiss…besides aren't you meant to be remembering?"

"I can't remember what I don't remember now can I? Come on Rhonda, tell me what happened. Arnold changed so much that night, and I think you know what happened."

Rhonda sighed, clenching the chair tightly as she grabbed a note pad from the draw and scribbled down what happened. Helga watched her intently, mesmerised by the speed at which she could jot down her own thoughts. _Definitely a perk of being a psych._

With a flurry of strokes, Rhonda stopped and handed the pad to Helga. Holding the pad tentatively, Helga's eyes scanned the page. A few of the words stood out, but she couldn't make out the main point. She had told Rhonda everything and it was being repeated back to her. Except for one word. Looking to Rhonda then back to the pad, Helga's stomach began to clench and unclench rapidly, her eyes looking around the word for signs of a mistake, but her mind was already beginning to play the scene back to her, all because of the one word written largely beneath the description: rejection.

Two minutes after the dance ended…

Helga's heart was still pounding in her chest as Arnold parted from her, the ache of not having his lips on hers sending jolts of desire through her body…she just had to have him. The hall was so bright and colourful, her initial thoughts suggesting she had taken some form of drug. But her smile could not be broken as she looked at him: how could she begin to compare the warmth of a summers night to the embrace he had, the soft sands that made his hair and the red silk that lined his lips...but then sniggers caught her ears.

In an instant her rosy coloured dream shattered as the hall returned her to reality. Helga looked around to see some of her peers giggling and chuckling to themselves, their gazes judging and taunting her. _They saw me kiss Arnold!_ Panic set in: what did she do? She kissed him obviously, but now as she looked around, did this make them an item? Where they now dating? But he has a girlfriend…was she now a boyfriend stealer? Nothing more than a common…Helga mentally shook her head at the last thought. There was no way she was one of those.

"Helga are you ok?" she heard Arnold ask her, his curious look catching her off guard.

"Umm….yeah, but why did you do that football head?" her voice replied, her mind already regretting what she said instantly.

"Well we were dancing…but I thought…"

"You thought what Arnold?"

Helga's head spun around to see Lila standing there, hands on her hips and glaring angrily at Arnold. All eyes had turned to her, unsure now of Arnold's next move.

"Lila?"

"Yes Arnold that would be me, your girlfriend," she spat.

"But Lila you ran off with another boy…Helga, please I have to know," he asked, pleading softly as he turned Helga's face to his.

She was acutely aware of the eyes that were on her at this precise moment. "Do you like me…like me?" he asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" she asked, trying to keep her voice down, but failing as the hall had fallen silent.

"I mean, would you…you know…go out with me?"

Helga's heart sank; any other time and she would be over the moon, dancing away her problems on a cloud of ecstasy and adrenaline, her mind wandering into the forbidden realm of what he would do to her…_best leave that alone old girl._ But here she stood, surrounded by them all, watching and waiting for her reply. And Lila stood behind her…it struck her hard and left her cold. She couldn't do it. She could never be with Arnold. He was taken and she had no right to him. He could never love the girl behind the mask…no one could.

"No Arnold, I can't," she muttered, walking away from him and running out of the gym and into the fresh air.

Doors slammed shut behind her; Helga's head was spinning. She wanted to cry; more than anything she wanted to let it all out and end what had become the worst night of her life. She collapsed against the railing, leaning against the cold metal and praying that it was all just a dream. But inside she could feel it, the coldness and never ending guilt bubbling away, consuming her until there was nothing left. She loved him so much it hurt; nothing in this life made more sense to her now than Arnold.

_But I said no…_

Helga wept. Her heart shook and shattered, each bit flinging itself against her body like a knife into an open wound. Again and again she could feel it, reaching into her and ripping out all the care she held for him. Why had she done this to herself? Wasn't it enough to have lost her mother? Maybe if she went back in she could say yes, end this horrible nightmare as she clung to the pole, now sobbing loudly into the ice-cold night.

_But I said no…I said no to the only boy I have ever loved…my one true love…and I destroyed it…_

Helga didn't know how long she had spent in that one spot, or when Phoebe had arrived and joined her silently, holding Helga close as a mother would to comfort her child. All she could feel was the numbness from her fingers to her toes, the horrible pain replaying each moment over and over again until she could cope with it no more.

"Phoebe take me home," she moaned, trying to hold herself together but the aches from crying made it impossible to move.

She felt Phoebe nod and promise to be back quickly. Helga clung once more to the pole and wept silently, her eyes no longer registering the tears that fell down her face so openly. She could never be with him…

The memory faded. Helga sat still. Exhaustion moved over her like a wave. She turned to look at Rhonda, only to feel a single tear escape her eye. With a finger she caught it, holding it up for her own amusement. And then it hit her. Without a word she began to cry, cry so painfully and deeply that she felt that life was going to end. Nothing in the world could compare to this pain she felt; she had stuffed it up with Arnold, her one chance to be happy and she ruined it. Wailing, she tried to hold herself together but couldn't. It was escaping from her and she couldn't stop it.

Helga could feel the shards of the knife stab into her, her heart beyond repair as the tears began to soak her shirt. "Why did I do it?" she cried out, desperate for an answer. "Why did I ruin everything?"

Her sobbing grew as she clutched her sides, never wanting to move ever again. The pain filled her, consumed her and owned her now; nothing would ever feel good again. She could feel another presence move next to her and hold her gently, trying to soothe her spirit but nothing was going to help her. As she wept into Rhonda's shirt, Helga knew it was all over.

D & F

Pancakes had never tasted so good as Arnold tucked into them, glad he had finally gotten the chance to eat after being interrogated by the tenants. Oscar had already tried to find out a way of making some money off Arnold's story, but after a firm hit across the head from Susie, he had retreated to his room to sulk. Arnold couldn't care much as the rest asked him questions, eventually all being shooed away by Grandpa, much to the annoyance of Ernie who had wanted to hear about the train crash and whether it compared to destroying a building.

Feeling the warm goodness hit his stomach, Arnold leaned back happily to drink his juice, his Grandpa eying him carefully before smirking.

"Well, it looks like your appetite has returned Shortman," he chuckled as Arnold smiled softly.

"It feels great to be home again Grandpa."

"Yeah, well I wouldn't get too comfortable just yet; there's the weeding to be done, the garage needs a new paint job, the mould in the bathroom needs some work after Oscar went in there, and I'm sure all of those old books need to be moved and dusted off individually before being put back."

Arnold's wide-eyed look earned a loud roaring laugh from his Grandpa. "Of course I wouldn't do that to you Arnold…except maybe the mould, I really should get someone to look at Oscar's bathroom habits," he muttered at the end, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as Arnold shook his head happily: _typical._

"Maybe I should get some more sleep Grandpa," Arnold yawned.

"And not go looking for your one eye browed friend? My goodness Arnold what has gotten into you? Leaving the hospital to find her and now you want to go sleep?" he asked incredulously.

"Sorry Grandpa, it's just that…hang on, how did you know I was looking for her?" Arnold asked, suspicious as to how he knew.

"Oh come on Arnold, it's been plain for years that she likes you. Every time we saw her, it was so clear she loved you it was hilarious to watch you have no clue as to what was going on."

"We?"

"Your Grandmother and I," he winked at Arnold.

"You both knew and you didn't tell me?"

"Arnold, do you remember the story I told you a long time ago? Of how I met your Grandmother?"

Arnold paused for a moment, trying to think back to when he had explained what he was like as a kid. "Didn't she use to bully you?"

His Grandpa smiled at him, Arnold puzzled by Grandpa's reaction until it clicked. Helga bullied him…his Grandmother had bullied his Grandpa…Arnold could have slapped himself across the face if it weren't for the laughing old man, who clutched his sides tightly. "Took you long enough Shortman," he laughed as tears streamed down his face.

"It's not that funny Grandpa," he replied grumpily, his Grandpa wiping away the last of the tears as he finished laughing.

"Oh I'm sorry Arnold…Heh…so what are you going to do about it now?"

Arnold sat silently, his Grandpa peering at him carefully before standing and stretching his back, cracking loudly and cackling as he left the kitchen. Alone with his thoughts, Arnold reached for the glass of juice and froze. His mind flashed images before him of last night's dream; watching and re-playing them over and over, Arnold could feel himself begin to crack inside. Running out of the kitchen, he raced upstairs and closed the door before slumping down against it, tears running down his face.

D & F

Helga was motionless. Around her she could see Rhonda tidying and cleaning up, putting away dishes and wiping down the kitchen bench. But her eyes would not move away from the spot on the couch opposite her. She was so tired, so worn down that she could not move. All the crying, all the tears had left her drained, so devoid of emotion that she could not comprehend moving any part of her body. As another familiar presence joined her, Helga could not help remaining deathly still on the couch.

"Hi Helga," came a soft sweet voice.

"Phoebe why are you back here again?" she strained to whisper, the action taking a huge amount of effort.

"Because you needed me again. And I must say that I think I came at just the right time."

Helga wanted roll over and sleep, but sitting up was so much easier. "I wish you would just leave me alone though Phoebe."

Shaking her head sadly, Phoebe moved a bit closer to Helga and tried to stroke her arm. "My poor Helga; what have you done to yourself?"

"Everything," she replied softly.

"Has it ever occurred to you to try and find Arnold?"

Helga shook her head. "He is in the hospital surrounded by miss perfect."

"Helga I know you are not well, but you have got to let me go. I can't leave you until you sort this out. This is a hindrance, a roadblock that connects me to you and until it is resolved I will keep coming back. And I hate it."

"Hate it?" Helga frowned.

"I cannot stand to be here Helga. Watching Gerald…I can't stand to see him in pain."

Helga nodded grimly, keeping her attention focused solely on the couch in front of her. All of this time she'd tried to find him but she had given up hope. There was nowhere else to turn now. She should just leave, forget Hillwood and never look back. Maybe she could make it somewhere else, and forget about Arnold forever. Then maybe he could move on with his life with Lila and Gerald…

"Gerald!" she shouted loudly to the apartment.

"What about Gerald?" Rhonda asked as she came running in.

Helga turned to her, Phoebe now long since vanished, with her body starting to wake up. "I think I know how to get over Phoebe finally."

D & F

Wandering down the street path, Arnold tried to block the sun from his eyes but with little success. The constant throbbing in his head was growing worse, his eyes sore from crying but his legs determined to get him there quickly. Only a few minutes ago he had called Gerald, telling him he was coming and to be ready. There were a few more questions he needed to ask Gerald about Phoebe. Shaking his head, he tried to forget the nightmare of last night.

Watching his best friend argue like that…and hurting Phoebe so much was breaking his heart. He had decided that he needed the truth, the absolute truth to resolve what had happened so long ago. He could not believe it; he pleaded as he walked onto the steps that he was wrong and nothing like this had ever happened. Anything would be better than to have Gerald say it was all true.

Timidly, Arnold knocked on the door. A rustling from inside was followed by brief silence. Opening the door, Gerald looked out at him, appearing to be more calm and relaxed than yesterday. "Hey Arnold," he grinned softly.

"Gerald? What's going on?" he asked, not accustomed to seeing his best friend in a state of peace.

"Nothing man, come in," he replied shortly, walking into the lounge room as Arnold followed him in.

Closing the door behind him, Arnold followed Gerald into the lounge room and froze. Sitting in single chairs was Rhonda, sipping her tea and looking at him smugly while his eyes drifted onto a blonde haired girl, whose eyes matched his own. "Helga?"

"Arnold?" she replied, both of them unable to say more as Arnold was sat down by Rhonda who had laughed quietly to herself as she watched the two exchange looks of shock and disbelief.

"Now that this is out of the way, why are you here Arnold?" Rhonda asked politely.

Arnold shook himself out of the trance and looked to Rhonda. "I need to talk to Gerald about Phoebe."

Rhonda nodded. "That is the exact same reason we are here. So Gerald," she said calmly, turning her attention to the young man sitting in the chair opposite her, "Could you please tell us what happened that night to Phoebe?"

D & F

**A/N: Thank you for reading and I do hope you can review it please. It's now heading towards the end of the story but there is a lot to uncover before our conclusion so stay tuned!**


	12. Chapter Twelve: Where it Ends

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Twelve: Where it Ends

Gerald's nod was quickly followed by downing the tea he held in his hands, the cup placed down as he relaxed himself back into the chair. "Where do you want me to start?"

Rhonda frowned for a moment. "Why not go back to the night of the formal?"

Gerald shivered and bit his tongue. Arnold watched his best friend struggle with his words, his obvious distaste for talking about what happened evident on his face. After a while Arnold grew restless; the questions that plagued his mind needed to be answered. He could not help but hope that Gerald would deny whatever questions came next, because if he didn't…

"Gerald, why did Phoebe get upset with you?" he asked.

Gerald slumped in his chair and began to cry. "I did something to her…"

Prom Night…

It wasn't his first choice to be in here, but from the stench surrounding them it wasn't Phoebe's first choice either. A single bucket was on the floor, turned upside down so she could sit, leaving him to stand, and watch her intently as she sobbed softly into her hands. Arnold and Helga were dancing up a storm outside; Gerald smiled at the thought of his goofy friend. But it was gone in a second as Phoebe looked up, wiping away the last of the tears and trying to look at him through her wet glasses.

He hated seeing her like this and it was only made worse as she tried to calm herself down. "Phoebe I don't understand why this has to be a big problem; I know you're leaving so we can make this easier on ourselves now," he pleaded.

Phoebe's whole facade of peace was shattered. Gerald could feel the knife twisting in his heart once more and knew that this whole situation was wrong. "I mean, I don't know why you even want to stay with me. I'm not going anywhere fast and your dreams…I can't stand to keep holding you back."

"Do not make this about your noble intensions Gerald; I can't believe you're doing this…" she sobbed softly once more.

"Why do you need me? I'm nothing. What makes you so sure that we would last?" he nearly shouted, catching himself at the last minute; he needed to calm himself down.

"Because Gerald, we are meant to be," Phoebe whimpered, trying hard not to ruin her makeup. "We have gone through so much…how can you be so willing to throw it all away for this?"

"Meant to be? Damn it girl, didn't you know this was always going to happen? You were always going to move on from here when the time came…without me there is nothing left to stop you," Gerald murmured at the end, avoiding Phoebe's now furious gaze.

"College is important to me Gerald, but so are you. I can't be happy without you in my life. How else can I keep going? Tell me how Gerald," Phoebe barked, trying to motivate him. "Because obviously I have missed something during our time together which says you get to decide how this ends!"

"I don't know Phoebe! We are both leading such different lives now-"

"Different lives? I want to go to College, what about you?"

Gerald bit his tongue, but couldn't hold it in. "I didn't get it."

Phoebe was about to retort but stopped. "What do you mean you didn't get it?" she asked quizzically.

"I missed out on the positions…no one wanted to take me."

Phoebe sat back. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Gerald shook his head. "You seemed so happy and I did not want to ruin it for you. Besides…how could I hold you down when you got accepted-"

"Cut it out Gerald!" she screamed.

Gerald slumped against the shelf and tried to ignore his desire to be out there watching the dancing. He could hear the music ending and wished he could be watching his best friend have the time of his life. He caught a flash of red near the door and shook his head; Lila had been off with another boy…again.

"Why can't we just talk like we used to Gerald?" she softly asked.

"Because we aren't kids anymore Phoebe. I don't know what we can do now."

Gerald made to leave, only to have Phoebe stand up and grab his arm, pulling him back to the room before he could escape. He could hear some faint laughter, but couldn't make out what was happening…

"Gerald don't go. There's something else we need to talk about," Phoebe sighed. Gerald turned around, looking at her strangely. He had never seen her look this down before; her face was so sad, so deeply hurt that he knew this wasn't something he had done. But whatever it was…

"What is it Phoebe?" he asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.

She appeared to struggle with the words she was trying to form. "I think I might be depressed."

Gerald breathed a sigh of relief. "What makes you think you are depressed Phoebe?"

"Do you remember two months ago Gerald, when your parents were out of town?"

"Yeah, but I don't see what this has to do with…"

Gerald could have smacked himself in the face…of course. "Does this mean you're…?"

"I was going to tell you, but a week ago…well, I miscarried," she wept, Gerald moving closer to her as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry Phoebe," he whispered.

"I was…I was so excited Gerald. I thought for sure I would have a baby. It just hurts so much…"

D & F

The sun was setting once more, the last of the light creating shadows across the room as Gerald finished his tale. He had stopped shaking, but was unable to keep going and retired to his room, his suggestion they all stay accepted as they called for take away. Rhonda, Arnold and Helga spoke for a while, catching up with past news and rumours they had heard from other classmates. But Arnold never spoke to Helga; Helga seemed to consciously avoid Arnold's gaze, frustrating Rhonda as she tried to find ways of getting them to talk to one another.

Finally, she gave up and headed to the bathroom, insisting she would not be long. It was only ten minutes until the food would arrive, but Arnold tried to avoid Helga's wandering eyes, often watching the stars outside twinkle and shine down upon the roof tops of Hillwood.

"So football head, how are the injuries?" Helga asked.

He snapped out of his daydream about flying amongst the clouds and looked over at her with some shock before relaxing. "They're fine. I should be fine in a few weeks."

She nodded. Guilt came back to rear its ugly head as she imagined the injuries occurring right in front of her. "Arnold I have to know. Did you catch the train that day just because…of me?"

Her question caught him off-guard. "What do you mean Helga? I always caught the train," he replied.

Helga seemed put off and folded her arms, looking off into the distance. "Never mind."

Her mind wandered through the city, leaving behind her surrounds. He could be so thick sometimes, so completely oblivious to what was going on around him that it made her sick. Surely he would have understood what that question was about? Even she could read between the lines on this. Maybe he was too innocent for his own good.

"Do you remember the dance?" Arnold said. Helga turned to see him looking now up at the roof, his legs and head resting on either side of the arm rests as his body contorted itself to fit in the chair space left. "All the twirling and spinning we did…and the music…I loved that music. How we seemed to fit together so well, almost as if we were…"

He finished, looking over at her with a sadness she had only ever seen in him when he thought too much about his parents. "Why did you leave me there Helga?"

Helga's anxiety wanted Rhonda to return, hoping with all her heart that she would come in and save Helga from having to explain it all. But as the seconds passed by, Helga felt cornered and had no choice.

"I…I don't know," she murmured, turning to avoid his eyes.

"What are you talking about Helga, of course you know," he pleaded.

"I don't Arnold. Can we just drop it?" she spat back, hoping it would stall him long enough for Rhonda to return.

Silence drifted into the conversation for a moment as Arnold plucked up his courage. _Not this time_. "No we can't."

Helga was surprised by the command in his voice, one she had never heard him use before…and she liked it. "We can't drop it Helga, because I need to know why you said no to me. I know you left and ran outside, but I couldn't…"

Arnold looked down at the ground, the memory too painful to try and remember. "What happened to you Arnold?" he heard Helga ask, his face hidden beneath the hair that hung over his face.

"When you ran outside Helga, I was left alone in the middle of the floor with everyone watching me. And then she spoke," he shivered as Helga moved in curiously.

"Who?"

Dread filled his stomach as he looked up, his pain so clearly etched on his face that Helga sat back immediately. "Lila."

D & F

Arnold watched her run, the dress flowing behind her beautifully as he felt his heart crack. It hurt dearly, this pain he had never felt before. As he saw the door close behind her, Arnold looked around at the faces in the hall, most looking away ashamedly or trying to pretend it had not happened. But no one moved. As if tranced the hall of eyes turned to Lila who had walked towards Arnold, moving to within inches of him before a smack rang out over the crowd. Stinging like nothing else, Arnold tried to look back at Lila only to be smacked once more.

Tears were starting to swell up in his eyes as anger began to burn in his chest. "What was that for?"

"That Arnold was for kissing her. How dare you do this to me? Kissing another girl on prom night. And Helga Pataki?" she seethed. Arnold had had enough of her games.

"Like you're one to talk," he glared back, "Running off with another guy again huh?"

The crowd gasped; it was an unspoken rule not to tell Arnold what Lila had been up to. No one would dare to try and explain to Arnold just what was going on. It would have only broken his heart. Even Lila took a step back, suddenly fearful of what Arnold was about to say. "How did-" she began to stammer before being cut off.

"I've known for months Lila; I understand you did this out of pity for me. But I didn't need to be pitied. I wanted your love."

Lila tried to stand tall against Arnold, but as the silence of the crowd watched on in shock, even she had to admit she was in trouble. "My love? My dear, dear Arnold, you could never have my love. Or anyone's really. Why do you think Helga just ran out on you?"

Arnold felt his anger turn to ice. "What?"

"Think about it Arnold; I cheat on you not because it suits me, but because you don't love me."

"How can you say that?"

"Because Arnold, it's the truth. You say you want my love, but you don't try to get it. You leave me cold and alone, never understanding how I feel or what I want. It's always about you."

"Lila, what are you talking about?"

Lila stood towering above him now. "Arnold you are a terrible boyfriend; Helga could never love you because she knows what kind of a man you are. You are weak," she whispered, leaning in closer to him, "you're pathetic."

"A coward," she smirked, her nose inches from his.

"Stop it Lila," he snarled.

"And you know what else Arnold? You won't be there for us when we need you the most. You don't love us…it felt right to let you in, but now I know why I shouldn't have. You will never be loved Arnold, because who could ever love a man who sees only himself?"

Arnold clenched his fists tightly. "All you ever do is lie."

"But this is the truth: no woman will ever love you. Look at me, I'm dating you and you can't love me," Lila sobbed theatrically, stepping back from him.

"Lila how can-"

"Arnold you are alone. No one will love you because you can't love them back, and Helga knew that."

Everything around him was spinning dangerously; all of his vision was blurry, his hearing now mute as he tried to remain standing. Footsteps near him snapped him out of it as his best friend came running to him, standing in front of him and glaring at Lila. "You need to leave now Lila."

His voice was deadly; Lila snapped out of her sobs and looked at him dismissively. "And what will you do about it Gerald?"

"This is Arnold; he is a good man. Leave him alone now or else you face me."

"And me," came a deep voice. Walking to Gerald's side, Harold adjusted his baseball cap and glared down at Lila.

"And me," Stinky added, joining Gerald as they shielded Arnold from Lila's glare.

Lila smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever. Just remember Arnold. You're so not worth it."

Arnold wanted to feel but couldn't; he wasn't worth it? He wanted to retort, fight back against her words, but something inside him refused to. In fact it was suggesting he do the opposite…it wanted him to accept it…_it's the truth._ With that Lila left, the crowd parting to both sides as she stormed out of the hall, slamming the door behind her and leaving everyone in silence. Music began to play softly as people moved around and began to dance with one another again, Stinky and Harold moving off to find their partners as Gerald grabbed a hold of Arnold and led him outside, moving past some anxious questioners and into the freshness of the night. But all the while Arnold felt numb inside; Lila was right. He was useless to anyone. How could they ever love him?

"Arnold snap out of it man," Gerald said, his voice distant but growing closer with each word.

"Gerald?"

Gerald shook his head as he helped him to hold onto the railing outside; Arnold's mind was still fuzzy, his actions blurry as Gerald mumbled something he couldn't make out. He wasn't even sure of where he was; stars twinkled above him, but he had no idea about what to do next. He should wait for Gerald to come back. Maybe he could fix this…strangeness for him.

But a single name kept cropping up in his head. He couldn't make it out at first, but it belonged to the most beautiful pair of sapphire blue eyes he had ever seen. She had this golden blonde hair, the kind that didn't shine in the day, but sparkled in the night. And this heart...so broken, yet so loving for him. Arnold couldn't put it together until…

"Helga," he whispered, the name falling from his lips and onto the ground. She had rejected him. Arnold felt it spread, but the pain pierced his heart before he could fathom how to cope. They spilled down his cheeks, splashing onto the pavement and he couldn't stop it. He had to forget, he had to forget…there was no other way he could face this…

D & F

Helga sat huddled with her legs to her chest, looking down as Arnold finished. He hadn't spoken for a minute when she felt the question come to mind. "So what happened to you and Lila afterwards?"

"She left…for a while. She kept coming back to me. At first I couldn't understand but then it clicked; I always gave her the security of a relationship. She would always have me. But I got tired of it."

"Just like that?"

Arnold shook his head. "Not quite. A part of me still loved her and I cared so much for what happened to her that I found it hard to leave her. But when I did I got to see the side of her that was the true her: loneliness. She struggled with being accepted and having someone appreciate her outside of her family that she often turned to me. But I could only give her so much. Everything else was of her own making."

A knock at the door was quickly followed by the emergence of Rhonda, who answered it and quickly paid the young man. Walking into the room, Arnold and Helga were both hit with the wonderful smell of pizza, their mouths watering as Rhonda placed it onto the coffee table. Returning shortly with plates, Arnold excused himself, heading to Gerald's room to let him know that the food had arrived. Rhonda took a bite of pizza and grinned.

"I haven't had this since I was in junior high," she smiled once more before taking another bite of the pepperoni pizza.

Helga chuckled. "Let me guess you didn't eat it because you had to maintain your magnificent figure?"

Rhonda's nod was quickly followed by eating another piece of the pizza. "Save some for the others," Helga grinned.

"We can always order more. But what I am most curious about is whether you talked with Arnold or not," Rhonda asked in-between fitting another piece into her mouth.

"We talked briefly," Helga replied dismissively.

D & F

He stood in front of the door and sighed. Gerald would probably want to keep sleeping, but he did need to eat sometime. But Arnold wasn't sure he wanted to disturb him; the most pressing person on his mind was Helga. He wanted to know about her so much; he wanted to find out how she had dealt with the prom. With his hand outstretched towards the door, Arnold shook his head; _maybe another day._

Arnold's soft tap on the door caused a stir within the dark room. He could hear the sheets being moved aside as Gerald appeared at the door, his eyes bloodshot but open nonetheless.

"The pizza is here if you want some," Arnold said.

Gerald seemed to be tossing up what to do and eventually nodded. "Sure thing man."

Arnold left him and headed back downstairs, softly treading on the stairs to avoid creating much noise for Gerald. He was at the bottom and about to walk into the living room when he heard his name mentioned. Instead of walking in, he crept to the side of the wall and leant up against it, now able to hear all the conversation taking place in the other room.

"We talked briefly," Helga replied dismissively.

"I see. But you are going to have to explain it to him shortly Helga," he heard Rhonda state and he leaned closer. He was glad he was hidden in the shadows as he heard Helga sigh.

"I wish I knew how to, because I don't really have an answer to give him. How can I explain to him that I said no because I was afraid? He wouldn't believe it."

"I wouldn't really believe it either. You've never been afraid of anyone," Rhonda replied, Arnold's heart slowly sinking into his stomach.

"It's not that I was afraid of everyone else," Helga continued, "It's just…he is my everything. He is everything I have wanted for so long. Arnold was there for me on the very first day of pre-school. My parents weren't; and he was the one to save the neighbourhood from Bob. But…"

Arnold wanted to hear her continue, but Rhonda's voice cut in. "Have you ever considered why you said no?"

Arnold peeked around the corner and saw Helga shake her head. "Not seriously. I had thought it was just a reaction to being near him, trying to show that I wasn't going to be all mushy and soft. But…he was my love. Why did I say no? I wanted to be happy. But Lila…"

He saw Rhonda nod in agreement before pulling his head back around. He was her love? Arnold couldn't believe what he had just heard; if she had loved him, why did she bully him all the time? The spit balls, the name calling, the tripping and shoving…Arnold chuckled softly to himself. How many other people had she done this to? No one but him.

"I couldn't take her boyfriend; I couldn't stoop to her level, even if it was for Arnold. I may not care what other people think, but I do have my own standards. I don't steal from girls. Besides, I didn't know how he felt."

"I think dancing and kissing you would be a good indication of how he was feeling," Rhonda replied.

Arnold peered around once more and saw Helga shake her head. "That was the heat of the moment. How would he have known how he felt? I had years to sort out my feelings. He was acting on instinct. And why would he want to get to know the real me? I'm…so lost inside. He could never want someone who is so broken."

Arnold couldn't stand it anymore; he had to find out from Helga how she truly felt. Plucking up what courage he had left, Arnold strode into the room much to the surprise of both Helga and Rhonda. He sat down and grabbed a piece of pizza, acting for the moment as though nothing had happened. He listened intently as the two quickly changed their topics and moved on. For a while though he began to wonder what was keeping Gerald.

"Is Gerald coming down?" Rhonda asked him, his quick nod replied with her own.

"So Rhonda what are your plans after this?" Helga asked after they had nearly finished off the pizza.

"Sleep in tomorrow and continue working for the rest of the year," she responded as she leaned back and began to fall asleep. Arnold and Helga smiled as she did, eventually watching her chest slowly rise and fall as Rhonda fell into a blissful rest.

Helga leaned back into her own chair and began to feel the blissful rest overwhelm her. If not for Arnold's tidying of the pizza boxes, she doubted she would be awake. Instead she watched him, admiring the way he moved his hands, rearranging it into a neat pile before returning to his seat.

"Where's Gerald?" she yawned, trying vainly to keep herself awake.

Arnold frowned and headed up stairs, leaving Helga alone with Rhonda's sleeping form. She tried hard to keep them open, but she could feel them closing regardless of her efforts. Giving in she felt herself drift off, enjoying the bliss and serenity that came with the sleep…

"HELGA!"

She woke with a start, her heart pounding and blood now racing. Was that Arnold? She left the couch and headed up stairs, not sure why she could hear someone crying in the bathroom. But as her legs guided her, Helga felt her stomach knot. And as she rounded the corner Helga froze, her eyes wide open with fear. Even though he held his best friend, Helga could not help but pale at the dropped knife on the ground as Arnold led Gerald out of the bathroom.

Helga stood aside, her attention drawn to a note on the sink. As they left her alone, Helga walked into the bathroom, picking up the note and reading it. She read it again, the note dropping from her hand as she ran back downstairs to join Arnold. Falling to the floor, eight words were written in red, each one scribbled hurriedly:

_It will end the way it all began._

D & F

**A/N: Thanks for reading. R & R if you can. This story will soon be drawing to an end so stay tuned for the final chapters where all shall be revealed!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: The Saviour Complex

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay, but please do enjoy.

Chapter Thirteen: The Saviour Complex

In a matter of hours it had been decided; Gerald was going to Rhonda's apartment for observation. No one put up a fight or tried to say otherwise; Arnold had vaguely remembered helping Gerald into a taxi with Rhonda before closing the door, watching his best friend being held closely by Rhonda, vanish from sight. Someone would have to look after the house, and having nothing better to do, Arnold walked back inside, locking the door behind him as he joined Helga in the living room. Her own shock was still there and Arnold, not knowing how he might handle this himself, headed into the kitchen.

Helga's mind was buzzing; there was nothing she could do to stop herself from imagining the events that could have taken place. She had been there enough times to know how to get herself out, but Gerald…she tried to rid her head of the images and instead focus on something else. But there was nothing else for her to focus on. Arnold's continued presence was creating a prickling feeling in the back of her neck, the same one she often got when he nearly caught her blabbering her deepest darkest secrets to the world.

But perhaps the hardest bit was hoping she would find the courage to eventually talk to him again. It was hard to imagine they might go back to being open with one another, maybe in time they could. Arnold's eyes were firmly focused on her, no doubt thinking exactly what she was. Helga didn't want to be the one to start the conversation: she knew that now, more than ever, it would be make or break. Worst case scenario was that she could lose him, and not only that, but also lose her heart with him. And she couldn't bare that.

"Arnold?"

She could feel the word leave her mouth, but nothing seemed to come of it. Arnold's eyes remained idle, his face not registering Helga had even spoken. She could not keep this up. "Hey Arnold!"

Catching his attention, his gaze broke as startled, he looked around and found Helga staring at him; startled, he looked around for the sign of the voice and came to rest on Helga. He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he finally took into account her presence. Not since the accident had she really been alone with him, except for last night…and she knew the fate of their relationship hung on what was she said next.

"Do you think Gerald will be ok?" she timidly asked, unsure of how he might react to reliving his best friend's near death attempt.

"I don't know Helga. I thought I may have helped him before, but this…I don't know what to think Helga. I thought he was moving on; how can he still be stuck like this?"

"I think I know how," Helga spoke gently.

Arnold made to speak but held his tongue as Helga twiddled her fingers, trying to find the right words to help her explain. "It's hard to explain…sometimes you just feel so sad and alone, like there's this great big blanket holding you down, covering you and keeping you from being able to get out," Helga choked, trying her best to not tear up.

"You sometimes wish it was there, but then you wish and hope it will just leave you alone. There is nothing worse than waking up to know that there is nothing you can possibly do, nothing in your power which will help change what has happened. I know how Gerald feels, because I felt like this when Miriam died…and when Phoebe died."

Helga sighed and continued. "For the longest time I couldn't accept it; how could I? My best friend jumped off a roof right in front of me. And then I started to think I caused it, that something I had done made her do this. I thought she was paying me back for being a lousy friend. But then I started to see her."

Arnold cocked a brow. "See her?"

Her heart began to race. She hadn't meant to confess this to Arnold; she was only meant to be talking to him about Gerald and maybe explain how she was feeling. But he had been so easy to talk to; he had always been so easy to talk to. She could feel it before she saw it, but a small hand rested itself on her shoulder and whispered gently to her ear. "Go on Helga."

Watching the last of her friend vanish, Helga took a deep breath and moved on. "I saw Phoebe a few times; she would come when I thought I needed her most, or when I didn't think I did. She would come, like a ghost and talk to me."

"So Phoebe came to you, like a ghost and helped you?" Arnold asked puzzled, questioning his own sanity as he continued listening to her.

"She did, in her own way. I guess I never realised until it was too late how much I really depended on her. She was always there you know? Even when no one else was…there she was, taking notes, buying me an ice-cream and always listening to my every waking thought, keeping locked away even my most deepest and darkest secrets," Helga grinned.

"But why focus on her? Was Gerald seeing her too?" Arnold asked, trying to keep himself together. All this talk of ghosts and death was starting to worry him.

"I don't know. Maybe he was seeing her, but I don't think he was."

"So Gerald was-"

"Arnold I need a drink," she mumbled, leaving her chair and heading into the kitchen.

Arnold sat where he was, leaning back and taking in the comfort of the leather chair, taking in the comfort and rest of the leather. He wasn't too sure he understood what Helga was seeing, but the same worry began to dawn in his stomach once more. Was she really ok? Would Gerald be able to get over this? His mind was racing still when Helga came back, her water in hand. He decided he needed to act upon her willingness and get to the bottom of it all. Whatever was holding her back was now tied in with Phoebe and Gerald.

"Helga, when you say you saw Phoebe and admitted you need her, what were you really hiding from?"

Helga was startled, placing her drink down carefully as she studied him for a moment. "Nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing Helga. What is your deep, dark secret?" Arnold whispered softly.

Squirming in her chair, Helga's heart was beating harder than ever before. "It is nothing Arnold."

"Helga tell me! It can't be nothing! Phoebe is coming back to you for a reason, and Gerald is now gone. For once Helga be the girl I know you are, be the wonderful caring person I know is deep down inside you," he pleaded with her, trying to get her to open up to him.

Helga though, snapped. "What right do you have, football head, to tell me this? You can't order me around and force me to tell you. Even if Gerald is in trouble, he is not my problem," she shouted, now standing over him with a ferocity she hadn't used in years.

"You know what," Arnold spat back, rising to meet her eyes, "I don't know why I defend you Helga. I always thought there was some good in you, some love that was only hidden because you were afraid. But maybe I was wrong, maybe I shouldn't have defended you."

"I never asked you to do that," she glared murderously. "That is so typical of you Arnold. You always butt into people's lives, whether they want you to or not. You have such a saviour complex sometimes; you just won't leave it well enough alone will you!"

Now on the verge of crying, Helga could feel her eyes begin to water. "And you know what hurts the most? The fact that you never tried to get to know me, never tried to look beyond who I was-"

"Cut it out Helga! You know I did; you know that I want to know the real you. Why these walls, these barriers? Did I hurt you? Did I bully you in primary school?"

Helga crossed the floor, pushing her nose against Arnold's. "Listen here bucko, there is nothing you can do that will make me tell you. You're not worth the effort…I can't believe I liked you."

Arnold froze; Helga's hand moved to her mouth too late. The words had escaped her, betrayed her and her hand couldn't stop it. She took a step back, Arnold's eyes wider than she had ever seen them. Maybe he would pretend he hadn't heard it. Hopefully he would ask her what she said and she could tell him something else. She watched him process it though and began to panic inside. She couldn't have told him surely…

"You liked me?" Arnold blurted out, his stunned look making her want to run and hide.

Helga sat down and curled up into a ball. "Forget it Arnold," she mumbled, mumbled just like she had as a little girl. Another person had tried to break past her walls and she had told them; she had been a fool. No one could love her.

Within a moment a soft hand, so gentle and warm, rested on her hands, the touch breaking past her tears. She glanced up at him and stared into the eyes she had come to treasure in her deepest dreams. They looked into her, past all that was and saw in her soul something that only she could see in the happiest of days: he saw her. The simplest and truest form of her. In here she was safe, there was no one to hurt her, not love to be lost and here she could watch them. But Arnold was here, telling her without words that he cared for her like few people ever had.

"Helga, I need to know. Do you like me, like me?" he pleaded once more, the words so gentle and comforting in her ears.

Helga looked at him, taking in all that she could before closing her eyes. "I don't like you, like you Arnold. I…"

D & F

This whole operation was risky, but he needed to confront it now. She wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, but she was positive he had been running away for so long and hidden the truth from himself that only his guilt and mourning remained. Now it was time for Gerald to confront it. And so it was with great effort that she had led him to the top of the old house, led to the edge and held him closely. He hadn't opened his eyes once they had come to the roof, so it was with even greater effort she had managed to get him to.

"We are here Gerald," Rhonda spoke clearly.

"Where?" he mumbled, trying to get away from Rhonda's grip.

"Where it all began for you. Isn't that what your note said? _It will end the way it all began_. And this is where you wanted to end it. But you don't have to end it."

Gerald broke from her grip and sat down on the cold roof-top, his arms wrapping around himself tightly to try and keep himself warm. "She is gone Rhonda; I might as well go with her."

"But you don't have to. You've been running Gerald-"

"What from?"

"Phoebe's death," she said exasperated.

With great reluctance she joined him, keeping her eye on him closely in case he tried something. "You've been running from her death for sometime now. You've mourned her yes," she reassured in response to his questioning glare, "But even now you must realise that you have not confronted yourself about it completely. Why else would you want to be here now?"

Gerald didn't seem to want to respond, instead choosing to gaze out over the roof. Rhonda took it as an omen and continued on. "You want to end this because you can't reconcile the pain you feel when you think about her. Nothing else would drive you this far Gerald. Whatever happened, it has happened. You need to let it go."

"Phoebe was everything to me; she was my angel in the dark. She was better than anyone I had ever met," Gerald sobbed for a moment, before rounding on Rhonda. "But how dare you tell me to move on. Phoebe would want me to end it all."

"Yes Gerald, she would want you to end this self pitying," Rhonda shot back. "She would want you to move on with your life and forgive yourself. You knew her better than anyone, so you should know that"

Gerald glared at her for a moment; for the briefest of glimpses, Rhonda could see everything he was thinking and knew she had pushed him too far. There was a rawness in his eyes that only she could understand to be loss. Nothing else was shinning in his eyes as he stood up, the determination set in his movements. Rhonda got up but couldn't stop him walking to the ledge, his head looking below.

"It wouldn't hurt you know," Gerald shouted back to her over the raging winds. "It can all end where it began. No more heartache, no more sleepless nights…no more Phoebe."

Rhonda moved towards him carefully. She had gone too far; her mind was already beginning to panic but she had to try. She needed him to realise it otherwise it was all too late. "Gerald, think about it."

"There is nothing left to think about Rhonda, I can see it all so clearly now," his voice breaking as he looked down once more.

"Is this what you want? To run away one last time?" Rhonda shouted out.

"What do you mean run away? I'm not running."

"Yes you are. Everything you have done has led you to this point, because you can't face her death Gerald. You need to face it."

Gerald turned around and stared at her like he had never seen her before in his life. "That's ridiculous. I know Phoebe is dead. I've been mourning her ever since she died."

"Where did it happen Gerald?" Rhonda hugged herself, moving closer to him.

Gerald looked around for a moment, trying to remember where exactly it had happened. "It happened here…on this very roof."

He seemed to be trying to piece it all together and it was only when she was within a metre of him that it finally clicked. "It happened here…she was on this roof top…she walked to this very ledge and jumped off, ending it all. She killed herself on this very rooftop," Gerald whispered to Rhonda, his face paling as he finally realised it.

Catching him, Rhonda held Gerald close as he cried out loudly into the night. "She's dead! Phoebe killed herself!" he yelled out to the night, clutching onto Rhonda tightly.

Rhonda couldn't help but began to cry; she held herself together, watching Gerald realise it all…she held him tightly against her chest, stroking his forehead as drops began to splash on her head. Gerald continued to cry out, all the pain flowing out of him as each new cry brought out his anger. He was torn up, but Rhonda knew as the rain came pouring down that he needed this. He was finally beginning to let go.

D & F

Helga had started to say it but stopped. Arnold squeezed her hands reassuringly and continued to look into her beautiful blue eyes. "Please tell me Helga."

Rain had begun to pour outside, pelting against the windows, but Helga ignored it all as Arnold continued to gaze into her. Thunder flashed and lit the room for a moment before returning it to the near dark bliss it had been for a while now. Her lips tried to form the words, but failed her time and time again. Finally she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I love you Arnold."

Expecting him to run away, Helga was startled to see him looking at her, still holding her hands and not breaking his care for her. "Helga," he began, but was pushed away by her before he could go on.

"I know you don't feel the same way Arnold," she sobbed, standing up and walking away. She had to get out of here. But a hand grabbed her, holding tightly onto her and not allowing her to escape.

Spinning around, she couldn't believe he was holding her here against her will. "Let me go Arnold," she pleaded desperately. "I can't take this."

Thunder lit him up for a moment and all she could make out was a smile, gentle and loving. "Helga," he whispered, pulling her close to his chest, "I don't just like you, like you. I love you."

In that moment it clicked; for the smallest of moments, Helga knew he truly did. Nothing about this could be a lie. He was open, he had gone past every blockade, broken down every wall she had put up to keep him out. And here he was, telling her that her wildest dreams were not a lie. Arnold loved her. He _loved_ her.

Thunder roared to life around her once more; shrieking quietly, she pushed herself into his chest and shivered. She felt his arms wrap around her, holding her tightly and comfortingly. For the longest time she had only ever wished he would hold her like this, and with the rain crashing down outside, Helga felt oddly comforted. His hand stroked her head softly, whispering every now and then it would be alright. Slowly though she pulled away, gazing into his eyes.

She saw what she had only ever hoped for. Arnold looked at her, his eyes carrying all the hurt and pain away. With a ragged breath she leaned in, her eyes closing dreamily as Arnold did the same. Closed, her lips guided her and felt something for the first time she had never felt before. It was soft, but passionate; gentle, yet unyielding in expressing its delight and love for her. Legs were turning to jelly, the beats in her heart pounding against her chest. He was kissing her…and she loved it! For what felt like the longest time she held him close, taking in the scent and strength he held. And for the longest time she forgot where she was and embraced him. No matter what happened, she loved him.

D & F

**A/N: **One to go. It is already done and edited; keep an eye out for it on **Friday**** morning** my time. Please R & R if you can. Hope you enjoyed it!


	14. Chapter Fourteen: An Angel's Grace

**My Angel**

A Hey Arnold FanFic

**Authors note**: Special thanks to AdventureGirl6 for giving me the original idea. Themes in this story will grow darker; please read at your own risk.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold and make no attempt to profit from it. All characters belong to Craig Bartlett, who still to this day remains a genius.

Chapter Fourteen: An Angel's Grace

It had been a long year for Helga. There was nothing left for her here as she strode along the pavement, hand in hand with Arnold. Carrying a wreath, Helga smiled into the bright sunlight above; continuing to rest her head against his shoulder as they walked, enjoying the relief and pleasure she had come to embrace with Arnold. He was humming softly to himself again, something she was finding to be relaxing and soothing. Nothing about this place suggested they were going to say goodbye or remember a dearly departed friend, but as they walked Helga felt the weight had finally been lifted.

Phoebe had finally left her; she had cried the first night it happened. Having promised to see her one day soon, Phoebe had promised to watch out for her, at least until she was sixty. After that she could do what she liked. Walking towards the bench, Helga pulled Arnold down and kissed him softly on the lips, the sensation still sending shocks through her after a year. She still couldn't believe he was with her, the feeling shared as the two shared another kiss.

"You know, if you keep this up, we might have to skip meeting up with Rhonda and Gerald," Arnold smirked, leaning closer to nibble on her ear lobe.

Lost in the moment of bliss, her hand pushed him back for a moment, trying to catch the breath which had left her. "Save it for later, football head," she smiled, kissing his cheek before wrapping his arm back around her shoulders.

She was captivated by the soft swaying of the trees around her, taking in the fact she had nearly finished her first novel of poetry. And who better to write it about than the one boy she had been trying to capture for years. It wasn't going to be her crowning jewel, but the indications for it had been positive at least. Two days ago she had waited with abated breath for Arnold to get off the phone, nearly leaping into his arms as he had walked over to the bed and announced she was now an author. Of course after the news broke she did just that, kissing every bit of his face while he laughed.

It wasn't a guarantee that she would be the greatest, but she was on her way. And as for Arnold…she wouldn't trade her job for his, despite his being a far more fulfilling call, a fact she was told quite often, in between the tickling and kisses. Her heart raced thinking about last night's tumbling…it was blissful. Arnold nudged her out of her daydreams, bringing her back to the glowing smile that sent tingles throughout her body.

"I know you didn't want to do this yet, but maybe we should start looking for an apartment soon," he grinned, loving the idea of moving out of home.

Helga moaned for a moment, punching him lightly in the shoulder before replying. "If we start moving in together somewhere, people are going to think something is going on Arnold."

"And you moving in, sharing my room and spending every waking moment with me doesn't arouse suspicions?" Arnold raised an eyebrow, smirking at Helga's reddening face.

"That's because if anyone tries to ask, they still have to deal with Old Betsy and the Five Avengers, not to mention my highly polished boots," Helga proudly proclaimed, Arnold's head shaking as she laughed at him.

For a while they remained close together, Helga every now and then checking to make sure he was still there. And as the sun began to dim into the late afternoon, a man dressed in black walked towards them, his glasses hiding his eyes from view but smiling face beaming as he greeted them. Followed closely behind him was a woman in red, her raven hair gleaming in the light and eyes shining with delight as she greeted them too. The pair morphed into Rhonda and Gerald, holding each other close and joining the duo on the bench.

"Are you ready for this Gerald?" Arnold finally asked after discussing where they might go after this.

Gerald looked calm and ready, the first time Helga could remember seeing him like this in a long time. She felt calm herself, but she knew deep down it would still be tender. It wasn't possible to simply place a bandaid on it and pray it would heal; she still needed some time to grieve over her friend, but that was becoming less and less. Gerald had begun to do the same, having confronted so many of his fears and pains during the sessions with Rhonda and Helga. It wasn't easy, but Helga could still remember with a smile the day she told Gerald she was able to move on.

D & F

3 months ago in Rhonda's apartment…

Helga smiled, trying to suppress the girlish giggle that threatened to leave her. She wouldn't have been able to bare Rhonda having this much information on her; having already spent many a night on the couch, muttering her deepest love for Arnold, the last thing she wanted to gift Rhonda with was more blackmailing evidence of being a girl. It wasn't possible to contain her laughter though and shortly she broke, spilling it out for all to hear.

Gerald laughed along with her as Rhonda's face turned red, trying to contain her emotions at mentioning she had thought about Gerald in the shower before. Gerald's laughter though only hid the faintest of blushes from Helga, a fact she smirked at. Something had changed in the last few days and she suspected she knew what it was.

"Anyway Geraldo, as much as Rhonda seems to enjoy fantasising about you, I think we should move on," Helga smiled, the laughing finally at an end.

Rhonda quickly grabbed her mug in her hands and sat back, sipping away from it casually, pretending that indeed nothing had happened. Gerald had looked at her for a moment before grabbing his own. It was nothing serious, but Helga tried not to grin as her thoughts were confirmed when he glanced at her once more.

"So Helga, how are you coping with Phoebe's leave?" Rhonda asked.

In truth, Helga didn't know how she felt. At times she still expected Phoebe to turn up, speak and talk with her normally before disappearing again. Other times she was glad not to be disturbed and try to sort out her own problems. But once or twice she was sure she had seen Phoebe, not as a figment but as a real person walking in the streets or in the shops. However it would vanish before she could check, her heart wrenching whenever it happened.

"I guess I'm feeling better about it all. It's not like she controls my life anymore, or turns up uninvited, but sometimes…sometimes I wish she would," she sighed sadly.

Rhonda's sympathy didn't do much, but Helga was grateful none the less when she stood up and came to give her a hug, a gesture she would not have ever thought possible with 'the princess' years ago. But so much had changed in the last nine months, so much so that she wished she wasn't going to be saying to goodbye to her father for the next few months. He had agreed, after long debate, to check into a clinic for his drinking, promising he would change. She was yet to make her mind up, but Helga knew she at least owed him the chance to turn it around.

Gerald watched them closely, drinking every now and then from his cup. Helga felt the hug break, returning to her position. Rhonda though had failed to realise she had placed herself into Gerald's lap, only registering it when Helga looked at her dumbfounded. Of course she knew about Rhonda and Gerald, but this was the first time they had admitted it. They both blushed, Helga grinning as Rhonda separated quickly and returned to her chair.

"How long have you been dating the princess?" she asked cockily, enjoying the confidence that came from being herself again to people on the outside.

"Two months now," he replied coolly, looking much better now than he had six months ago.

Gerald's changes were very noticeable; apart from now being out and about, his confidence had returned and he wept only rarely when things became overwhelming, something he was glad to acknowledge to Rhonda, Helga and Arnold in private.

"How have you found being with Arnold? Is he everything you hoped he would be?" Gerald asked.

Helga paused for a moment. "I have found it to be the most wonderful experience; he is a true gentleman. You wouldn't believe how long it has taken to get him to not blush when I change my shirts in the same room as him. But I love it…it isn't easy, but we try."

"And I love him…with him I can move on."

Gerald looked at her oddly, trying to understand what she meant. "Moving on from Phoebe?" he finally asked.

"Yes. I find it hard when she isn't there," Helga began, "But I know that I have him around to help me. She was always there for me, and I do miss that. I can't hang onto Phoebe anymore though; for the first time a week ago she stopped coming after we talked for the last time. I know she isn't coming back and I tried to make peace with her for not being there when she needed it. And she did with me; I miss her, but I will see her again."

Gerald seemed to be taking longer than Rhonda to accept it, but had smiled when he finally did. There was something clicking in his mind as he spoke the next few words that Helga knew he had spent an age trying to figure out how to say. "I think I'm ready to start to say goodbye."

D & F

Helga held Arnold's hand tightly, walking past the children with a heart she felt had been lifted after saying goodbye. This was now only a formality, but she knew it still held importance to Gerald after all he had gone through. To be walking beside him and Rhonda was beyond her wildest imaginings. They hadn't said anything while walking towards the graveyard, and Helga felt there was nothing that needed to be said. All lost in deep thought, she contented herself with holding onto Arnold's arm.

Admiring the way the trees shone brightly in the afternoon sun, Helga clutched the wreath tightly, holding onto it for dear life as they came upon the tombstone. It's writing was beginning to weather and fade, but still visible enough to make out the name belonging to Phoebe. It wasn't how she had hoped to spend the afternoon, and she felt a pang of hurt jab at her heart, unable to resist the urge to call upon her to show herself one more time.

"Arnold I can't," she whispered softly, his eyes knowing all too well what was going through her mind.

Gently he placed his hands on hers, leading her towards the stone and placing the wreath down. Helga could feel it coming, her hands tense and unyielding, but she didn't want to cry, not this time. Softly, Helga felt her fingers let go, the wreath coming to rest against the headstone and remaining firm to the wind around them as she looked on at the stone. _Thank you Phoebe._

"Would you like to say something Rhonda?" Arnold asked as he noticed Gerald having a hard time not breaking down in front of the stone.

With a flick of her hair, Rhonda stood beside Gerald and smiled, turning her attention to Gerald as she spoke. "Phoebe I can see why you loved him; I can see why you loved all of us. With you here, you always watched out for us, even when we didn't want it. Sometimes we needed that outburst or dominating word that put us where we needed to be. Without you around it is hard. But in our hearts you're always there; you may not have that word to say, but you're making us better people every day."

"Gerald and Helga loved you, more than we will ever know. And I know I am grateful to have known you and have spent some time with you. Thank you Phoebe," she mumbled, her tears catching her off guard as she spoke. Gerald wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in to a warm hug.

"Phoebe, I wish you could be here with us, but I know Helga would want you to know that she loves you. You might not get to be here for the all the times ahead, but we will carry a small part of you with us always. Thank you for teaching me Phoebe," Arnold spoke, "When I needed it most."

Helga steeled herself to say something, but she couldn't say it out loud. Phoebe knew what she was going to say, but it was only a repeat of what she had already said. Instead, she smiled and moved closer to Arnold. "Thank you Phoebe, for being my friend and the greatest woman I will ever know."

From her handbag, Rhonda pulled out a smaller wreath, roses intricately woven into it. With a nod from Gerald, she placed it down, resting it carefully beside the larger wreath. Helga could not help but smile at the thought of Phoebe laughing and breaking into an explanation of how magnificent the flowers were. One day she would ask about it; she could bore her for hours and not care. Rhonda though touched the stone and wiped away a tear.

"I'm not taking him from you," she confessed quietly, feeling silly for talking to marble, but continuing none the less. "But I promise I will look after him for you. I will hold him close and help him through life until we meet again."

Gerald watched on with a mixture of sadness and hurt. He knew this would be hard to face every year, but he would try to see her every now and then if he could. But time would get away from him in the future. _I hope I can make it right with you Phoebe,_ he thought, feeling the wind soar higher than ever before. A chill had returned to the air, making even the suit he wore obsolete as he looked at the tombstone.

Laying down the last of the flowers, Rhonda turned to Gerald and squeezed his hand affectionately, smiling at his soft smile of care. She knew he would always have a soft spot for her, and she had accepted that. His love was for Rhonda, but a small part was always going to be for the first love he had. Watched on with arms wrapped around one another, Arnold and Helga both smiled softly as the wind picked up the leaves and swirled around. Helga gave an involuntary shiver as the wind cut through her clothing.

"Ready to go?" Helga asked, kissing Arnold on the lips softly before looking towards Rhonda and Gerald.

"I am; can I have a few minutes alone?" Gerald asked, the knowing smiles a silent acknowledgement as they moved towards the gate, lingering for a moment before vanishing from view.

Gerald breathed deeply, taking in the final view around him. He had come so far this past year. The grave before him didn't feel like a knife anymore, but more of a memory, a memory that he now felt at peace with. He grinned at it for the longest time, trying his hardest not to think about how she must have felt in those last few moments, knowing one day he might have the courage to ask.

"I didn't think you would come today," Gerald smiled softly, not turning his attention as Phoebe moved up beside him, grinning as he bent down to look at the flowers.

"They are really beautiful Gerald; I love them so much," she smiled, patting him soothingly on the shoulder.

"I know Phoebe. I can't believe it's been so long," he sighed, standing back up to look at the setting sun.

Phoebe shuffled closer to him and nodded. "Indeed it feels as though a lifetime has passed us by, but it has only just begun."

Laughing, Gerald turned to face her, the love he held for her shining in his eyes like a beacon. "I still love you; you know that right?"

Phoebe's smile faded a little, a small tear escaping her eyes. "I know you do; I still think about you, wondering where you are and who you're with. And I'm glad you finally found someone Gerald; I don't want to see you waste away to nothing."

"Are you sure you accept Rhonda?" Gerald smirked.

"In time I may," she grinned, "But I know one day I'll get to spend it all with you."

A small part of his heart jumped at the mention, but he sighed in realising it would be in a while. Winds began to pick up around them again, the last of the leaves now being thrown into the air as if the winds were playing a game of catch. It wasn't how he wanted to go, but he was sure there was no other way.

"We both know this will be the last time I say goodbye," Gerald smiled sadly, his shoulder dropping a little as Phoebe nodded.

"I know Gerald. I do want to tell you though that I forgive you; I…there are so many things to say, but today will not be it. I have a lifetime to tell you, after you have lived out yours. I love you Gerald," she smiled, tears slowly streaking down her face as Gerald watched her fade away.

"I'll always love you, my angel," he replied tenderly.

Watching as the wind caught her, Gerald felt the sadness replace itself with joy at watching her fade away, smiling brightly to him. He stood there, watching the wind until she turned to nothing, the wind now a gentle reminder to him as he basked in the sun's last golden rays. He smiled, turned on his heel and began walking away to the gate, to the life that awaited him beyond it. She was his one and only, his first and true love. She was everything and anything. _My beloved. My Angel._

D & F

**A/N:** Well there you have it. The finale to My Angel, having spanned the better part of a year. I do thank you all for reviewing and reading this story; it's been wonderful to get the feedback I have. To my loyal reviewers and readers, I hope this story has pleased and brought a little bit of enjoyment into your lives. Should you ever want to contact me to ask about the story or anything else that may be going on, your more than welcome to hit me up on my profile. Until next time, in whatever time or place it may be, I am forever yours in writing, Destiny and Fate United.


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